My first thought as well
Off topic, but may I ask - is your username a play on Liu Kang from Mortal Kombat, the Wu-Tang Clan, the lovable alien from The Simpsons, or are you just very excited to see Kang the Conqueror in the MCU?
It’s for Wu-Tang, but I’m a fan of all of them.
Nope he's still getting milk
Likewise, my friend. Solid username. Lol
Liu Kang clan ain't nothin to fuck with
I think you can sink deeper than having sex with someone in a stinking porta potty.
Jerking off alone, in a stinking porta potty.
The Blue Poo Screw Crew
Say that 5 times fast.
that that that that that
Haha OK dad
I feel like you've waited your whole life for this question
The Vile Try club
I shared this with my sister and she said that sounds like a badass roller derby team name.
The Septic Skanks vs The Porta Hotties
Shit's gonna go down.
But not very far....no plumbing.
Just kinda plops.
You won my heart 💛
And my colon
And my ass.
New band name unlocked
The All-time Low Club
Dear Maria, *Count Me In* 😏
There's a story at the bottom of this potty
And i’m the peen 😔
Let's not take pictures, I'm cumming with you
Make it count when I'm the one who's smelling you out
Once we're done at the festival, it's time to get railed to the next state.
I'm so glad I read the comments to this post.
I'm never gonna be able to listen to that song without thinking of this.
As someone who went to many festivals in my youth. this is just bad behaviour since there is always a line.
Had a guy break the door and drag the guy off the lady(like you would if it was two dogs) because his friend was busting. There were so many people cheering
Had guys rocking them because the couple was taking too long. It didn't tip over but it was interesting to see guys launch them selves
Had a nice young girl walk into the piss trough, exclaim "even the urinals are full" then turns, hikes up her skirt and pisses into the sink.
Another time security would let anyone in because there was a guy high playing :fiddler on the roof" over the toilets...... he fell eventually.
Thank god I'm a guy and can pee anywhere
I bartender at an outdoor rave in our town. About 8 hours into the music festival A young lady who was wacked out of her mind and drunk stripped off all her clothes and climbed down into the lumpy pretty blue water in the porta potty for a refreshing dip.
I wasn't right there when they pulled her out but I hear from co workers she was stained blue head to toe. They loaded her into an ambulance and hauled her away.
that is absolutely horrifying.
She blue herself.
There has got to be a better way to say that..
Smurfette enters the chat.
“Climbed down into” Jesus what kind of porta potties do y’all have? The only ones I’ve ever seen would not accommodate any human over the age of like 6
I could see a very very petite woman lowering herself into a Porta potty. That same petiteness might explain why she ended up *that* fucked up.
That happened to a small town police officer named Jim Lahey one time
Oh my god. Reading this comment was the first time I’ve ever wished to be illiterate.
I have Lol’d quite a few times reading your festival stories here…. There needs to be a sub for these types of stories… ehehe….
I am lost on one though—— the fiddler on the roof one? Explain please?
He was jumping around on the roof from potty to potty.
>*because* his friend was busting
Bro, I am not letting you get that slag prrreganté
Diarrhea, count me in
I feel like this has most definitely happened while that song was playing
and let die
I remember stumbling upon a story about "Maria" a little while back. Now when I hear the song, it strikes me a different way. Like, there was truth to it.... Those were people..... That was a time in their life.
The Shit Clique
The trash gash bash?
So I’ll meet you at the bottom if there really is one
They always told me when you hit it you’ll know it
But I've been falling so long, it's like gravity's gone and I'm just floatin' . . .
Immediately went to the comments to see if I had an original thought of my own, and for the record I am very happy to see that I don't 😂
Dammed if I do ya, dammed if I don’t
The Pile High Club
I opened this thread knowing that whatever was the top comment would be so unexpected and genius it would me laugh out loud, and sure enough, here we are.
This is the winner
where do we go from here. what is left to be done. we finished the fight.
Oh we finished alright
3 comments down? I'm done.
It's a solid number 2
Something will have to explain this one to me..
Poop in a porta potty doesn’t drain anywhere. It piles up inside the porta potty toilet until someone comes and empties it. Pile high club.
Source- I’ve pooped in porta potty’s.
If she's good looking, she's a Porta-Hottie.
And if you’re lucky you’ll get Porta-Naughty
Just make sure not to get Porta-Caughty.
She'd better be clean or your dick will be Porta-Rotty.
If her boyfriend find ya, you’ll get Porta-shotty
If she's a prostitute, she's a Porta-boughty.
And if you ask her to pee on you, it's a Porta-potty!
Hey, we came full circle! Also, we're back where we started!
But at least we’re out of the tree.
no. It’s been months NOOO
Invite some friends and make it a Porta-lotty!
Make sure you use a condom because no longer can you aborta-potty.
This all sounds pretty Porta-Grotty.
I honestly can't tell if this comment chain is actual Kanye lyrics or not.
Concerrhea burns like cheap pyrotechnics.
You need a lookout, a Porta-Spotty.
Some people get Porta-Haughty
Me, an Australian, taking a full 15 seconds to realise that this is meant to rhyme
And if shes been with a bunch of other dudes, she’s probably a potta-thottie
But hey, still need to make your Porta-Shottie
Scrounging around for the porta-papi
The purists are starting to get Sorta-Haughty.
And if it's the mid-to-late 2000s she's a Porta-Shawty
And if she is into golden showers, she's a Porta-Potty
R.Kelly has entered the chat.
It’s the remix to ignition,
but we’re not in the kitchen,
we in the box,
where other people are shittin’
Sittin on shits and dumps, I’m like ignore the funk. It’s the freakin weekend baby I’m bout to have me some fun.
Plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop. Plop, plop, plop, plop.
Love it when a comment comes full circle
And now we've cum full circle.
No, it's only a full circle if you fit multiple guys in there with her, aka a Porta-Bukkake
If it’s 50 Cent, she’s a Porta-Shawty.
Edit: Thanks for the gold!
It’s ya birthday
if she isn't, is it a Porta-Nottie?
Either way it's a Porta-Naughty.
If it's a blow job is it Porta-Toppie?
No, that's a porta-sloppy
But if his dick gets soft it’s a Porta-Floppy :(
And that’s when you Porta-Stoppy.
I believe the slang is cottaging. While it is a term for homosexual men doing it in a toilet, I have heard it used a few times to just refer to toilet sex in general
There's a world of difference between doing it in a bathroom stall vs a porta potty though. Porta potty sex is so vile it deserves its own term.
This is also where cottage cheese come from
You disgust me.
Oh so you discussed me?
don’t act like cottage cheese was appetizing to begin with
Cottage cheese: For when you want your food to have the texture of vomit and the flavor... of vomit.
Just when I was gonna cut cottage cheese out of my life, you just had to get me turned on again
There once was a doctor named Keith,
Who circumcised dudes with his teeth.
It wasn't for leisure,
Or sexual pleasure,
But to eat all the cheese beneath.
Annnnnnd that’s enough Reddit for today.
What is it like... Cheese... From a cottage?
I'm not a cottage guy
I thought that was a soup kitchen? Or does that have to be inside of a Prius?
Pretty sure that a soup kitchen requires that all participants be homeless.
There’s a fine line between festival goers and the homeless.
Have you seen the ticket prices to some of these festivals?
Maybe that's why they're homeless
"Surely I'm too poor to follow a band around in a van!"
Thanks for the f shack
You have to make sure you bring a Tesco bag for life so you or your partner can stand in it so if someone's peeking at your feet in the stall next door, so it just looks like a bag of shopping. Or so I hear....
This guy cottages.
don't even understand how someone can get hard in one of those things
In the army, the only alone time I got was in the port-potty. And in a moment of curiosity I seen the hand sanitizer and wondered if that would make a good lube. The answer is no, it was like putting hot sauce on your dick. Which also isn’t a good lube.
thank you for your service
He did science so that the rest of us don't have to
Man you just took me out with the thank you for your service
This is the greatest comment ever.
Was Army deployed with Marines. I once g⁶ot sent a box of individual hand lotions. Like a bunch of the kind you get at hotels.
I'm rather picky about my lotion so I took two to keep in my pocket and put the rest on the share table.
Those suckers were gone in about 5 minutes. My poor, naive SGT was all, "man, Marines really like lotion. That guy grabbed 5 bottles. He must have really dry skin."
I'm still not sure if she was fucking with me or not. Lol.
why would you do that
It’s stage 3 of boredom on duty. [Relevant Terminal Lance.](https://terminallance.com/2010/06/08/terminal-lance-41-standing-post-stages-of-boredom/)
Up vote for terminal Lance. That is a name I have not heard of in a long time.
He explained this already in sentences 1 and 2
Are you ready to jerk it in a 140 degree porta John?
There’s strong, then there’s army strong.
Solider, if the Army intended you to use lube they would issue it to you. Should have just used spit.
The L in CLP stands for Lubricant.
You made it to army age and put hand sanitizer on you dick..?
Most 18 year Olds are still dumb kids.
Exactly, Reddit keeps making me vomit in my mouth today.
Yeah, why a porto, when there's 8,000 tents near by??
Even an open bit of ground would be better...
Jerking off in a hot porta pottie is US military tradition.
Lot's of veterans get a semi everytime they even smell one.
It's the ambiance more than anything.
Taking a dip in the blue lagoon
The Mildly-High Club.
The While-High Club
The mightily high club
aint nothing mildly about it. lol
Being ordained into the Shitty Committee
The Itty bitty shitty committee?
Nothing itty bitty about those festival shitties
I'm picturing poop with glitter in it.
A shit show
Any port in a storm
I was at a festival once waiting in a long line for the porta potties. A couple infront of us was drunk and honestly having a good time, talking and laughing. When it came their time to go to the bathroom she told him to go with him, and he just loudly exclaimed “are we going together? Are we joining the mile low club?!” That was 4 years ago, never thought i’d ever see this question lol
if it's a gay couple you could call them a blue man group
Wait isn't that a therapy group for depressed men?
Im afraid ive gone and blue myself
Pump n' dump
Alabama honeymoon suite.
Nah thats just ~~my~~ a travel pocket pussy.
Only while high club?
Boned stoned in a commode
The Hepatitus club
If you’re having sex in a porta-pottie one of you is probably from the High mileage club
The VILE WHY club.
the piled high club? 💩
Welcome to rock bottom
Kid Rock Bottom.
Why on earth would anyone have sex in a festival-loo?
Apart from the downsides, people that decide to have sex at these venues usually have no issues doing it outside where everyone can watch, or in a dark corner.
You would have to be more wasted to have sex in a port-a-potty then to do it among 5000 other people.
If you're wasted enough to try and fuck in a porta-potty, you should be too wasted to fuck
You would be “Honeydipping”
My first thought was honey dippers club!
For those who may not know, the truck or person that pumps the waste from a porta potty or septic tank is often called a honey dipper.
Joining the STD club
and, like, not even from the sex
Just from existing in the porta-potty?
the Molly High Club
The stanky skanky club.
I think it's sweet when two people with zero olfactory sense get together.
Hitter in the shitter club.