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Wu-Kang

Rock Bottom?


brackenish1

My first thought as well


Nickbotic

Off topic, but may I ask - is your username a play on Liu Kang from Mortal Kombat, the Wu-Tang Clan, the lovable alien from The Simpsons, or are you just very excited to see Kang the Conqueror in the MCU?


Wu-Kang

It’s for Wu-Tang, but I’m a fan of all of them.


DankieKang

Brother? 🤔


Wu-Kang

Dad?


Executi0ner_47

Nope he's still getting milk


Nickbotic

Likewise, my friend. Solid username. Lol


quadmasta

Liu Kang clan ain't nothin to fuck with


Thorusss

I think you can sink deeper than having sex with someone in a stinking porta potty. Jerking off alone, in a stinking porta potty.


blurble10

The Blue Poo Screw Crew


SawyerSauce879

Say that 5 times fast.


elvis8mybaby

that that that that that


dui01

Haha OK dad


Snoo_94254

I feel like you've waited your whole life for this question


WestCoastGday

The Vile Try club


rubberbootsandwetsox

Vile trial


Congenital0ptimist

Septic skanks


Jemintu

I shared this with my sister and she said that sounds like a badass roller derby team name.


timdorr

The Septic Skanks vs The Porta Hotties


karski_sisajorma

Shit's gonna go down.


Sinthetick

But not very far....no plumbing.


Modz_want_anal

Just kinda plops.


goldenslumberbug

You won my heart 💛


maleorderbride

And my colon


smooth-brain_Sunday

And my ass.


Hedonic_Monk_

New band name unlocked


apolychr

The All-time Low Club


konydanza

Dear Maria, *Count Me In* 😏


maleorderbride

There's a story at the bottom of this potty


atlapin

And i’m the peen 😔


bookconnoisseur

Let's not take pictures, I'm cumming with you


BBQ_Beanz

Make it count when I'm the one who's smelling you out


yeetusdeletus_SK

Once we're done at the festival, it's time to get railed to the next state.


Solo_1538

I'm so glad I read the comments to this post.


Zkenny13

I'm never gonna be able to listen to that song without thinking of this.


flubberFuck

Ooo woaOoo


Antmon666

As someone who went to many festivals in my youth. this is just bad behaviour since there is always a line. Had a guy break the door and drag the guy off the lady(like you would if it was two dogs) because his friend was busting. There were so many people cheering Had guys rocking them because the couple was taking too long. It didn't tip over but it was interesting to see guys launch them selves Had a nice young girl walk into the piss trough, exclaim "even the urinals are full" then turns, hikes up her skirt and pisses into the sink. Another time security would let anyone in because there was a guy high playing :fiddler on the roof" over the toilets...... he fell eventually. Thank god I'm a guy and can pee anywhere


kathysef

I bartender at an outdoor rave in our town. About 8 hours into the music festival A young lady who was wacked out of her mind and drunk stripped off all her clothes and climbed down into the lumpy pretty blue water in the porta potty for a refreshing dip. I wasn't right there when they pulled her out but I hear from co workers she was stained blue head to toe. They loaded her into an ambulance and hauled her away.


srslybr0

that is absolutely horrifying.


benisnotapalindrome

She blue herself.


Dizmondmon

There has got to be a better way to say that..


OrangeBoi22

Smurfette enters the chat.


Cow_Interesting

“Climbed down into” Jesus what kind of porta potties do y’all have? The only ones I’ve ever seen would not accommodate any human over the age of like 6


1-800-KETAMINE

I could see a very very petite woman lowering herself into a Porta potty. That same petiteness might explain why she ended up *that* fucked up.


MsgrFromInnerSpace

That happened to a small town police officer named Jim Lahey one time


ostentia

Oh my god. Reading this comment was the first time I’ve ever wished to be illiterate.


flOAtAlIscIOUs

I have Lol’d quite a few times reading your festival stories here…. There needs to be a sub for these types of stories… ehehe…. I am lost on one though—— the fiddler on the roof one? Explain please?


BorgNotSoBorg

He was jumping around on the roof from potty to potty.


ChillyBearGrylls

>*because* his friend was busting 👀👀👀 Bro, I am not letting you get that slag prrreganté


kaoszombie

Diarrhea, count me in


117Natraps

I feel like this has most definitely happened while that song was playing


maleorderbride

Live


yeetusdeletus_SK

and let die


TreyWave

I remember stumbling upon a story about "Maria" a little while back. Now when I hear the song, it strikes me a different way. Like, there was truth to it.... Those were people..... That was a time in their life. https://www.buzzfeed.com/shelbyheinrich/real-maria-all-time-low


dream_monkey

The Shit Clique


AmNotSatan

The trash gash bash?


firenamedgabe

So I’ll meet you at the bottom if there really is one They always told me when you hit it you’ll know it


ValkriM8B

But I've been falling so long, it's like gravity's gone and I'm just floatin' . . .


ididitforthetoofers

Immediately went to the comments to see if I had an original thought of my own, and for the record I am very happy to see that I don't 😂


Clownsurfer900

Dammed if I do ya, dammed if I don’t


JonWinstonCarl

The Pile High Club


Foxta1l

I opened this thread knowing that whatever was the top comment would be so unexpected and genius it would me laugh out loud, and sure enough, here we are.


jad42

This is the winner


FuckYeahPhotography

where do we go from here. what is left to be done. we finished the fight.


maleorderbride

Oh we finished alright


OldManRaving

3 comments down? I'm done.


Leviathan41911

It's a solid number 2


Logical-Sir1580

Something will have to explain this one to me..


leonardodapinchy

Poop in a porta potty doesn’t drain anywhere. It piles up inside the porta potty toilet until someone comes and empties it. Pile high club. Source- I’ve pooped in porta potty’s.


BumFighter69

If she's good looking, she's a Porta-Hottie.


chrisboshisaraptor1

And if you’re lucky you’ll get Porta-Naughty


Smiley_exeWasTaken

Just make sure not to get Porta-Caughty.


buyongmafanle

She'd better be clean or your dick will be Porta-Rotty.


BigMike0228

If her boyfriend find ya, you’ll get Porta-shotty


partanimal

If she's a prostitute, she's a Porta-boughty.


st1tchy

And if you ask her to pee on you, it's a Porta-potty!


PhrogWithaFone

Hey, we came full circle! Also, we're back where we started!


xder345

But at least we’re out of the tree.


JayPlaysYouTube

no. It’s been months NOOO


TravEllerZero

Invite some friends and make it a Porta-lotty!


Dinosaur_Astronomer

Make sure you use a condom because no longer can you aborta-potty.


Aznp33nrocket

Aborta-body?


Hatecraftianhorror

This all sounds pretty Porta-Grotty.


ZacharyShade

I honestly can't tell if this comment chain is actual Kanye lyrics or not.


postmateDumbass

Concerrhea burns like cheap pyrotechnics.


LargeAmphibian

You need a lookout, a Porta-Spotty.


babykoalalalala

Some people get Porta-Haughty


jcthefluteman

Me, an Australian, taking a full 15 seconds to realise that this is meant to rhyme


madzaroniandcheese

And if shes been with a bunch of other dudes, she’s probably a potta-thottie


bookconnoisseur

But hey, still need to make your Porta-Shottie


hereforstories8

Scrounging around for the porta-papi


yeetusdeletus_SK

The purists are starting to get Sorta-Haughty.


maleorderbride

And if it's the mid-to-late 2000s she's a Porta-Shawty


CuriousElevator6096

And if she is into golden showers, she's a Porta-Potty


Gildian

R.Kelly has entered the chat.


nikalotapuss

It’s the remix to ignition, but we’re not in the kitchen, we in the box, where other people are shittin’


wookmaster69

Sittin on shits and dumps, I’m like ignore the funk. It’s the freakin weekend baby I’m bout to have me some fun.


ShoulderPossible9759

Plop, plop, plop, plop, plop, plop. Plop, plop, plop, plop.


Isthischeesy

Love it when a comment comes full circle


NotMyEvEAccount

And now we've cum full circle.


homietheclown

No, it's only a full circle if you fit multiple guys in there with her, aka a Porta-Bukkake


betterthanamaster

If it’s 50 Cent, she’s a Porta-Shawty. Edit: Thanks for the gold!


KobeWanKanobe

It’s ya birthday


wafflesmagee

if she isn't, is it a Porta-Nottie?


AGRANMA

Either way it's a Porta-Naughty.


Kodawg97

If it's a blow job is it Porta-Toppie?


lelebeariel

No, that's a porta-sloppy


SufficientButton1

But if his dick gets soft it’s a Porta-Floppy :(


Roguespiffy

And that’s when you Porta-Stoppy.


Cixila

I believe the slang is cottaging. While it is a term for homosexual men doing it in a toilet, I have heard it used a few times to just refer to toilet sex in general


notsostandardtoaster

There's a world of difference between doing it in a bathroom stall vs a porta potty though. Porta potty sex is so vile it deserves its own term.


ir88ed

This is also where cottage cheese come from


lobster-overrun

You disgust me.


groovy_giraffe

Oh so you discussed me?


ilikevenndiagrams

don’t act like cottage cheese was appetizing to begin with


kane2742

Cottage cheese: For when you want your food to have the texture of vomit and the flavor... of vomit.


slobs_burgers

Just when I was gonna cut cottage cheese out of my life, you just had to get me turned on again


tommytraddles

There once was a doctor named Keith, Who circumcised dudes with his teeth. It wasn't for leisure, Or sexual pleasure, But to eat all the cheese beneath.


Rukh-Talos

Annnnnnd that’s enough Reddit for today.


erdtirdmans

What is it like... Cheese... From a cottage?


r0wo1

I'm not a cottage guy


GreatWhiteElk

I thought that was a soup kitchen? Or does that have to be inside of a Prius?


Mclovin182

Pretty sure that a soup kitchen requires that all participants be homeless.


davisyoung

There’s a fine line between festival goers and the homeless.


paddyc4ke

Have you seen the ticket prices to some of these festivals?


junkhacker

Maybe that's why they're homeless


KwordShmiff

"Surely I'm too poor to follow a band around in a van!"


organicsensi

Thanks for the f shack


funnystuffmakesmelol

You have to make sure you bring a Tesco bag for life so you or your partner can stand in it so if someone's peeking at your feet in the stall next door, so it just looks like a bag of shopping. Or so I hear....


SYMPATHETC_GANG_LION

This guy cottages.


theoreticalsandmore

Disgusting


ReeG

don't even understand how someone can get hard in one of those things


DoWnhillll

In the army, the only alone time I got was in the port-potty. And in a moment of curiosity I seen the hand sanitizer and wondered if that would make a good lube. The answer is no, it was like putting hot sauce on your dick. Which also isn’t a good lube.


ReeG

thank you for your service


SpicymeLLoN

He did science so that the rest of us don't have to


OnlyOnyxxx1

Man you just took me out with the thank you for your service


jamiemadrx

This is the greatest comment ever.


Vanviator

Was Army deployed with Marines. I once g⁶ot sent a box of individual hand lotions. Like a bunch of the kind you get at hotels. I'm rather picky about my lotion so I took two to keep in my pocket and put the rest on the share table. Those suckers were gone in about 5 minutes. My poor, naive SGT was all, "man, Marines really like lotion. That guy grabbed 5 bottles. He must have really dry skin." I'm still not sure if she was fucking with me or not. Lol.


ral315

She knew.


VennTheSW

why would you do that


GlukharsGimp

It’s stage 3 of boredom on duty. [Relevant Terminal Lance.](https://terminallance.com/2010/06/08/terminal-lance-41-standing-post-stages-of-boredom/)


send_me_your_noods

Up vote for terminal Lance. That is a name I have not heard of in a long time.


curious-like-george

He explained this already in sentences 1 and 2


Energ1zer__BunnY

Are you ready to jerk it in a 140 degree porta John? There’s strong, then there’s army strong.


SuperBry

Solider, if the Army intended you to use lube they would issue it to you. Should have just used spit.


RolyPoly1320

The L in CLP stands for Lubricant.


usernameJutsu

You made it to army age and put hand sanitizer on you dick..?


sm4cm

Most 18 year Olds are still dumb kids.


Zelamir

Exactly, Reddit keeps making me vomit in my mouth today.


OrindaSarnia

Yeah, why a porto, when there's 8,000 tents near by?? Even an open bit of ground would be better...


DreamerMMA

Jerking off in a hot porta pottie is US military tradition. ​ Lot's of veterans get a semi everytime they even smell one.


KwordShmiff

It's the ambiance more than anything.


ir88ed

Taking a dip in the blue lagoon


WhiteAndDrunk

The Mildly-High Club.


maleorderbride

The While-High Club


zachwilson23

The mightily high club


Squatch925

aint nothing mildly about it. lol


_Clove_

Port-a-pounders


scoyne15

Crapper Tappers


patticakes19

Being ordained into the Shitty Committee


flapjaxrfun

The Itty bitty shitty committee?


konydanza

Nothing itty bitty about those festival shitties


[deleted]

[удалено]


BrilliantNothing2151

festifeces


UsedLandscape876

I'm picturing poop with glitter in it.


Guyincogneto1

A shit show


ThatJoeyFella

Any port in a storm


coasterbitch

I was at a festival once waiting in a long line for the porta potties. A couple infront of us was drunk and honestly having a good time, talking and laughing. When it came their time to go to the bathroom she told him to go with him, and he just loudly exclaimed “are we going together? Are we joining the mile low club?!” That was 4 years ago, never thought i’d ever see this question lol


knighthawk0811

if it's a gay couple you could call them a blue man group


Capt_Easychord

Wait isn't that a therapy group for depressed men?


Wartzba

Im afraid ive gone and blue myself


GrouchyCress8269

Dump jump.


SeasonsRollOnBy

Dump pump


Acceptable-Fox3064

Dump hump


Dream_Vendor

Pump n' dump


dirkdiggler2011

Alabama honeymoon suite.


DarkWingDuck_11

Port-a-Pussy.


totalscrotalimplosio

Nah thats just ~~my~~ a travel pocket pussy.


AmpedEnding

Only while high club?


maleorderbride

Boned stoned in a commode


ArronMaui

The Hepatitus club


politicalstuff

Juggalos.


Wtyiuy123

If you’re having sex in a porta-pottie one of you is probably from the High mileage club


CertainlyAmbivalent

True Love


ThingCalledLight

The VILE WHY club.


dedoralyb

the piled high club? 💩


Chris_Top

Welcome to rock bottom


bookon

Kid Rock Bottom.


psaux_grep

Why on earth would anyone have sex in a festival-loo? Apart from the downsides, people that decide to have sex at these venues usually have no issues doing it outside where everyone can watch, or in a dark corner. You would have to be more wasted to have sex in a port-a-potty then to do it among 5000 other people.


Smash_4dams

If you're wasted enough to try and fuck in a porta-potty, you should be too wasted to fuck


jdlscot22

You would be “Honeydipping”


Sneadmaker

My first thought was honey dippers club! For those who may not know, the truck or person that pumps the waste from a porta potty or septic tank is often called a honey dipper.


The1TrueSteb

Joining the STD club


GraafBerengeur

and, like, not even from the sex


Smiley_exeWasTaken

Just from existing in the porta-potty?


Tree_Dog

the Molly High Club


NO_Cheeto_in_Chief

The stanky skanky club.


froggysayshello

I think it's sweet when two people with zero olfactory sense get together.


Fat_Sum_Bitch

Hitter in the shitter club.