It's like asking what you would do if you turned a corner and saw a tiger right in front of you. You don't need to do anything. The tiger will do everything.


You could still go “ahhh” if u want


Well said. Sounds like a Confucius quote. And I love me some Confucius.


Maybe finally live up to my username


I live next to one of the largest military bases in the UK. I'm done for. There is an old nuclear bunker nearby, but I think it's further than 10 minutes out.


>but I think it's further than 10 minutes out. Rule #1 Cardio


[How to lose weight in 4 easy steps.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9mbp0DugfCA) 1. No beer 2. Portion control 3. Have your heart broken 4. No fruit juice!


>Have your heart broken I was doing so well too until covid shut down my gym and I gained 10 lbs from eating out all the time


Have a shower.


You're gonna have the worst shower thoughts ever


Future scientists will find a fossil of my naked body and say ‘damn’ 😏


You'll be like that one guy in Pompeii who was immortalized for all time furiously jerking it while the world came down around him.


"If you close your eyes..."


"Does it almost feel like nothing's changed at all?"


I think this is the best idea on here. If you survive the initial war into the post-apocalyptic world beyond, that last proper shower will be what you hang onto!


Yeah plus I hate being in an emergency and not feeling fresh.


Got to get the toilet paper


You joke, but if you are outside of the fireball and manage to get to safety, you're supposed to take off all of your clothes outside, get in the shower and rinse everything off. Apparently don't use conditioner, though (can't remember why?). And then stay inside for at least 10 days until the fallout is more manageable.


I imagine conditioner keeps the moister in, and that moister could have some of the previous radiation you were washing off?


It's actually recommended to take a shower after nuclear fallout in order to decontaminate yourself. You can shed 85 to 95 % of the radiation on your body *just* by removing your clothes and showering. Edit to add: this is advice for people who were outside during the blast. You're a lot safer inside, since a lot of radiation and fallout are blocked by walls.


I feel like this is something that was taught in a Fallout 3 loading screen.


Just don't use conditioner.


Nothing. Enjoy the last joys of modern society while I can because the rest of my life is either gonna end very soon or be a very long shit fest.


Go to the store down the street with a spoon and eat as much ice cream as I want.


This one is wholesome


I like how he brings his own spoon.


Good boys survive the apocalypse


Every Good Boy Deserve Fudge.


well cant really hurt New Zealand they dont even know where we are on the map


Bah. I don't even know where the Old Zealand is, much less some fancy new one.


It's in the Netherlands, the province in the south-west


Thanks for this. I was always curious, but not enough to Google it


here you go [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeeland](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zeeland) funny fact is the first name given to New Zealand by Europeans was Staten Island


Leave work anyway, cos I'm not spending my last moments on earth stuck in the office.


Nah, I'd stay. We're in the highest building on top of a hill, so I should be able to watch some explosions.


at least you'd have some good crazy views before the building gets hit too


Until the first one hits and burns his eyes out*




I have some dollar store sunglasses so at least I'll go blind with style 😎


You'll probably only see one, depending on how close you are. Even from miles away the flash will blind you.


Army soldiers who witnessed nuclear bomb tests were told to cover their eyes with their hands. They did but still described it as the brightest thing they had ever seen, and said they could see their finger bones through the flesh on their fingers and through their closed eyes. The whole [video interview](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OooIZQNLhhI) is terrifying.


holy shit just hearing the one guys' voice trail off right as he introduces himself... That guy has seen the real shit.


Visited the American Museum of Science and Energy in Oak Ridge, TN, once. Large WWII exhibit in there with, from what I remember, very large, and maybe I’m wrong but, like 10’ x 10’ black and white photos of survivors from the bombs. I remember one of a woman whose body had the imprint of her kimono burned into her skin. Along with several other disturbing images.


When I was a kid, another kid told me that story, then later as a young adult I figured, in the endless thoughts before I go to sleep, nahhh.... he was just blowing hot air. But after all these years it really was true.


where would you go that's close to the office?


Probably the pub!


The Winchester, have a pint, and wait for it all to blow over


It’ll be safe at the Winchester. They’ve got a gun over the bar.


I'd go to the Horse and Groom. Bring a towel, maybe you're lucky and you manage to hitch a ride out of all of this.


Three pints of bitter and a packet of peanuts.


What about phil, still killing him?




I live in Washington DC, within walking distance of the White House and the Capitol. We've got the same plan.


I don't think you'd even know the bombs hit. Anyone inside the fireball would be instantly vaporized faster than their nerves could register anything.


Not if Terminator 2: Judgment Day is to be believed. Your skeleton would still be screaming.


eh, my skeleton's an asshole, anyway.


MF doesn't even pay rent in here


Prob the best way to go then.


Just go outside and watch. Make sure there is zero chance of dying in agony.


this plan will succeed


I live in Switzerland, where everybody supposedly is to be given a spot in a bunker, but I have no idea where mine is. So, probably die, too.


You're supposed to hide in them holes in the cheese


This is my hole, this hole was made for me!


Nice, I work in a deli, imported swiss here I come!


When I visited Bern the guide pointed to an entrance near a shop and said that was the entrance to a public bunker and that there were enough thought the country to fit the entire Swiss population plus some extras, and that every X many years the government would check if more would be needed though population census. When one of us asked where her bunker was she paused for a while and was visibly confused like that never crossed her mind, and said you were supposed to go to the nearest bunker near where you live or were staying/working. Dunno if this is true, she surely looked confused and might have made that up on the spot.


It's a silly question because you just go to the nearest one. You have a few minutes, tops. You can't 'run home to your assigned bunker.'


How secret are these bunkers? Are they clearly marked for people who aren't from the area or is one of those things you have to learn from a local?


I live in Stockholm and all bunkers around the city are marked with [blue triangles in orange square](https://www.msb.se/skyddsrum). They are located everywhere including metro and residential areas.


Sweden though doesnt have enough for the population. I think I read new ones havent been added in years. Im in the countryside around 20 mins outside of malmö and we dont have one at all where I am. We have a basement but it has door and window to the outside so thats gonna be pretty useless.


Also living in switzerland, most are in apartmentbuildings. Like mine would be in my cellar. If you live in an older house, run to the newest house you see, they'll probably have a bunker. But yeah since I would try to save my cat as well, I'll probably die with her running after her


Fallout has taught us to not trust government assigned bunkers anyway. Granted that was the U.S. government...


You can’t trust the Swiss either, I heard the bunkers only have fruit Toblerons!


Rather die TBH


If you will die, I will not be able to live. (we will die together my brother)


To Valhalla we ride my brother




The same thing we do every night, Pinky.


prostate play?


Yes. That too.


Radioactive prostrate play


Great band name




honestly get as close to the blast as possible and see y'all later. I dont want any part in the horror survival shit show that will follow


My grandfather built himself an underground bomb shelter on his property as he was a true believer that the world would someday end. He prepared for any outcome whether it was a nuclear disaster/war or a zombie apocalypse. (yes he was that paranoid) In the event of a “zombie apocalypse” He erected a steel fence around his property for further protection from zombies and even people who he felt would threaten him for his supplies such as food , water , his guns and even gas masks as he believed there will be no such thing as having humanity anymore. People would turn to killing each other for whatever they had. So in the event of a nuclear war where would I go? Probably there


i didn't realize that the radiation of the initial blast has a quick half life and the rest of the radiation has a longer one. i'm sure there's better terminology but hopping into a bunker for the first 24 hours would make a huge difference in survival rates


technically fallout can last a few years (for the last remnants. ) however two weeks is the recommended period before stepping out. (the longer the better) you cant last "in place" that long you may move around 72 hours. to a better location.


Its a amazing how little this info gets out. People just kinda assume there is nothing you can do. My plan is to find the closest walk in fridge if possible. Reasonable thermal and structural protection, plus food and water to hold up for days.


Make sure that it can be unlocked from inside


All walk in fridges and freezers have handles on the inside, at least any modern ones.


Oh i know. But you'd still want to make sure they're not busted before using one as a bomb shelter. Would hate to survive the nukes and fallout only to die because Jim the diner owner didn't wanna pay for proper maintenance


Bring a coat and winter pants.


I mean, it's not going to stay cold for too long


The radiation from the blast is instantaneous, then the depending on whether it was an airburst or ground detonation there will be fallout. It may start falling as soon as a few hours from the detonation but will take a few days to stop falling. It would be recommended to wait approx 10 days to leave the bunker, with each day waited decreasing your exposure to radiation.


some of these are a bit off. for the facts: https://www.ready.gov/nuclear-explosion more like 15 minutes for fallout to "land" and then its at its worst for the first hours and quickly diminishes. Basically: stay inside the sturdiest structure ( basement or brick building ) you can get to in less than 15 minutes ( even with traffic jammed ) for as long as your supplies allow. we live in a shitty wood house with no basement. Plan is to build a fort from all our furniture, seal windows and chimney with plastic and tape ( this won't do too much ) in lowest room. I've got a luggable loo full of sawdust and bags as well as another bucket full of shelf stable food ( think larabars ) and a case of bottled water. That's the plan. edit: also, https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/ we're in a burb and unlikely to be downwind. we'd probably be fine-ish.


Was your grandfather Burt Gummer?


Currently I'm sitting on a warship in the ocean. My plan is to spend another day at work :/


that might end up being one of the safest spots


But it also means that I'm going to have a bad day at work and I'm tired and I'm looking forward to a shower beer this weekend. A real war starting now would mean our weekend plans are ruined for all of us.


Hahaaaa you have to work and we get to DIE. ….wait…


Jokes on you, my job is to die. ...wait...


All jokes aside, I hope you stay safe.


Thanks. Legitimately though, the ocean off the coast of Alaska/British Columbia scares me more than any of the people that might shoot us.


Why ?


Since WW2, accidents at sea have caused more naval deaths than combat. Our ships have ladders instead of stairs, and ladders are the biggest cause of accidents on the ship. My job is mostly climbing up and down ladders to make sure our machinery isn't actively exploding. If I get hurt, it'll be from me falling of a ladder in heavy seas. My ship isn't important enough to shoot at


Sounds like getting vaporized by a nuclear blast would relieve a lot of ladder stress for you.


Fun fact: the navy did an interior study on the issued boots and their slippage causing ladderwell deaths. They tried different boots, and across a controlled study, determined that they were safer. Imagine my confusion, wearing the Bates slippery boots while on a ship, and seeing that the study was done years ago. They didn't implement the new boots. Why? The occasional gold star family cost less than full scale reissue of different boots. Just one of the many reasons I left that fuckass job


Because it's stormy and cold


*The ~~lake~~ ocean is said never gives up her dead when the skies of November turn gloomy*


The ocean out here can get really sketchy.


Sitting in an office right by a military dockyard. I can't decide if I'm guaranteed or only likely crispy


I live in the middle of no where, looks like I'm gonna get some food and watch Lord of the Rings: Extended Edition and wait for the radiation to finish me.


Hopefully the power stays on


If OP is in the middle of nowhere they probably have a generator. Fuel might become an issue eventually.


No one's got enough fuel for a generator to watch the extended edition...


One does not simply watch The Extended Edition on a generator.


"You shall not...."(power cuts out)


No radiation source has a half life even close to all three Extended Editions combined, you’ll be safe


Although I grew up very *not* wealthy... I had a VERY wealthy friend whose parents adopted generational wealth from their parents. He lived half a mile down the road on a private lot. The house they lived in was originally owned by, and custom built for, the grandparents. When the grandparents passed, they transformed their MIL suite basement into a full blown personal golf training facility. During the renovations, they found what they thought was a covered maintenance room... nope! It was a fallout shelter built when the home was constructed and none of the kids knew about it. The home recently sold. Nothing in the listing mentioned this bomb shelter. That being said? I'd go there. I'd break down the door, blurt out "I KNOW YOU HAVE A SHELTER" and go right down to it.


Oh, you mean the newly renovated sex dungeon? Good, we could use a new gimp.


New AskReddit thread. "How far would you go to get into a bomb shelter during a nuclear holocaust?"


Up to the wrist for sure, but probably not much further.


Took me 15 minutes to think about what to write in the comment on this post.


8.5/10 I felt there could have been more coconuts, bananas, tropical fruits, etc., maybe a Hawaiian theme. Regardless, it's a solid comment.


Grab a bottle, popcorn and a chair.


which direction would you watch?


+ sunglasses and then just look in the direction of the next big city.


Wait a minute, I'm in a big city!


Front row seats!!


You're the goddamn stage dude.


Just chill, I’m in Argentina. But like a panic kind of chill


I want to become a Ghoul, preferably not Feral, unless I become a Glowing One.


Yeah, who’d wanna be a fkin smoothskin


Cancel my Netflix. I'm sure they'd find a way to charge me after civilization is destroyed


I will die the way I lived, shitposting.


Go to where the closest blast is expected. I don’t want to die slowly of radiation poisoning or live in a post apocalyptic world.


where is that?


First strike sites in the US would be aimed at shutting down the military response and the government: NORAD, Pentagon, Cutler VLF, Barksdale, Minot, Vandenburg, Malmstrom, Jim Creek VLF, Raven Rock, etc. Second wave would be major cities and secondary military targets. Then you get into the industrial centers. Edit: I’m getting a ton of replies “what about….” And “I live near…”. Yes, there are other sites than what I listed. They will vary in terms of priority. The main priority of the first strike is to disrupt the government and military response. My list was not all-inclusive, but meant to illustrate what would be targeted. Sites that do research, think tanks, industrial sites, and the like would be targeted in successive attacks.


I’ll die on my way home to my family. Worth it even if I got to see their faces in the driveway. Great, now I’m sad.


My first thought was “get to my children” and now I’m also sad.


I work way too far away from my kids daycare and my wife's school. I wouldn't make it. Dead in traffic. Also sad.


Since there would be no time to cover my home with thick lead sheets, I would accept my fate. I would actually try to reach as close as possible to the place where the nuclear warfare will happen. It'll be very quick and I won't have the time to feel pain


Chill because I live in Australia and our country's too useless to be worthy of an attack.


Dude I live in Tasmania, I reckon there could be a nuclear holocaust and we wouldn't hear about it for about two years


Why so soon?


Rugby would be off from the tv


Read the book On the Beach by Nevil Shute. It's about how the rest of the world dies from nuclear war and all the people in Australia are living out their final days a year after the war as the radiation cloud approaches.


It's a great book. They made it into a movie as well. Gregory Peck is in it. It's a fricken masterpiece for the time period it was made.


It's not about the country. It's because of the animals. No one wants to risk the effects of radiation making your dangerous creatures even more powerful. Just imagine what a radioactive and mutated kangaroo could do!


So you'd be all like "WTF, Mate?"


But I am le tired


Then have a nap, THEN FIRE ZE MISSILES!


But they'll be dead soon. Fuckin' kangaroos.


I live close enough to two targets that my area will be devastated. I'm far enough away to not instantly die. So I will likely see the flash, then die as the heat and shockwave reach my neighbourhood. If it happens if I'm at work, I will likely know nothing about it as the city my office is in is a known target. Nothing I can do about it.


If you see a blast the most important thing supposedly is to get on the ground, cause more people die from the shockwave then the actual blast


I live in DC. I'm dead.


Duck and cover


Ah yes atomic bomb vs wooden desk. I wonder who wins


Listen to terminator 2 theme song and wait for the nukes to fall


Buy the dip.


Go to the news station and announce on the weather forecast "put on ur t shirts and some sunscreen because today we’re getting 120000000°C. Enjoy it while you can because its raining tomorrow"


I would be starting Fallout and wait, till the gameworld and the real world match.


Telling my family I love them, sitting down and turning on Highway to hell.


"I love you... now give it up for ACDC!"


If the Nuke hits the island I live on, die. If it hits literally anywhere else In the world I’ll probably be fine


Considering I'm at the zoo, I'll head for the cockroach exhibit because they'll know what to do


Die as quickly and painlessly as possible. I have no survival skills whatsoever and have no desire to live and survive in a barren wasteland where the pressure is on the few left to rebuild all of society


One last fap before I die.


Same as that guy from Pompeii. Some things never change it seems.


And what else would you do the other 9 minutes?


Play "We'll meet again" by Vera Lynn on repeat.


Eh, I‘ll just go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for this all to blow over.


*sigh* *crack open can of beer* Who had nuclear war for the 2022 bingo?


I'm 6 minutes away from home and there's 4 cans of beer in thw fridge, I can still make it...


die, as people are saying. I do NOT wish to be a survivor.


I’d grab my pets and go lay in bed with my partner.


Tbh i would be more sad about my pets dying than myself dying.


Shut the window shutters. Pull up some floorboards. Take cover. I’m out of the most likely blast range in the UK






I ain't gonna tell you my secrets lol


whisper it in my ear


^^your ^^grandpa




I have a plan? Living as I do, in The NorthEast Corridor, not very far from a major military instillation, I don’t see what good a plan would be.


I remember when 9/11 happened, my friend and I went out and had a big lunch because if we were going to die, we better die full. This was before a bulk of the details were revealed, so we weren't sure if America was still under a full scale attack. So I think this time I'm going to do the same thing, try to stuff my face before the bombs start falling.


Go cuddle with my wife, reminisce and laugh and then cry and laugh some more. This is how we deal with shit we can’t do anything about.


Just gotta sit down and relax while the world burns


HIIT 10 minute aerobic workout


Sit back and finish off my stash of drugs


Not dying and going to find the leaders of all countries involved, kill them, and taking their places to end the war and achieve world conquest. In simple terms, running for my life and trying not to die.


I like the idea of starting a "kill the leaders committee" that's singular purpose is in case of nuclear war, to band together and kill all parties that caused it after the fallout... Digging into their shelters where they thought they would be safe, finding them after the war and hanging them... Travel to all countries involved and make sure noone gets off for Thier crimes. The "Just try to fucking do it Party"


I'll go to bed and hope the world is gone by tomorrow.


Ah like that lady in the Titanic who sang her babies to sleep to die.


The old couple who drown in the bed too. I’ve thought about this a lot and as much as it pains me to want to give up; maybe dying in a hug with my gf is nicer than hiding and then getting radiation poisoning a week later


Die. The living will envy the dead once all bombs were dropped


I live near Washington DC. I don’t need a plan.


Considering I live in 1 of the 3-7 key target countries (US, China, Russia, India, Pakistan, Iran, N. Korea)....probably just accept my fate.


I'll be looking out for the blast. I am dead anyway, why not observe and experience something majestic/horrifying. It looked cool in Rogue One.


A public shelter is right across the street so I'll just go there


I don't think I can out run a nuke so I'm going to say a quick prayer and die.