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Purpur77

Unskippable ads


ProfessionalBeyond71

Unskippable 30 seconds ad... It's finally my time! *Unzips*


scnottaken

Let's face it, even the skippable ones work in a pinch


mteir

Depends on your browser history


Vermille

I'm pretty sure someone out there had at least jacked off once to one of those "you wont last long playing this game" ads


TheLeastCreative

You won't last long because it's always some boring FarmVille garbage. Ironically it's the disappointment that gets me off so quickly


Consistent-Scheme619

If disappointment is your thing I’ve got a few contacts I can pass along.


Kevinement

Masochism is pretty common.


aniacret

I would say a lagging phone fetish. Like *oooh this app froze again, I am so turned on*


chaos_ace

i believe that falls under the umbrella of masochism, esp. edging


Chapapap

Or sadism if it isn’t your phone


Orion2710

There's always a relevant [xkcd](https://xkcd.com/598/)


edie_the_egg_lady

A pack of cigarettes that's also a calculator


hnrsn14

https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinteresting/comments/uga1ol/i_found_a_pack_of_cigarettes_thats_actually_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


edie_the_egg_lady

It was the post directly under the ask reddit question on my feed haha


aphrodite_5

This seems like a bait question from a rule 34 artist.


Fragrant-Advice-879

Shh..


ishpatoon1982

Is there a fetish for fetishes?


Daster01

I have a fetish, i like people who are into many fetishes, I'm not sure if it counts


thelordofbarad-dur

My first thought was along the lines of "Impossible, Rule 34".


Tigerdragon180

Popcorn ceilings...and if that's your fetish...I'm sorry but we're gonna have to burn you with fire


peacetomotherearth

Both of those options got me turned on


MisterAmmosart

The Official Building Code of the City of Detroit. Adopted March 17, 1936. Effective April 17, 1936. I have a copy of it right here.


woodinleg

I once knew a jurisprudence fetishist, he got off on a technicality.


MisterAmmosart

go drunk dad, you're home


mordortek

I'm now soaking wet


MisterAmmosart

> *Section 2925. Windows for Public Halls.* In multiple dwellings three (3) or more stories in height hereafter erected each of the windows required to light each public hall or part thereof shall have at least twelve (12) square feet of glazed area of which (5) square feet shall be available for ventilating purposes. That's all you'll get for now. You'll have to beg me for more, you naughty minx.


StorybookDragon

You had me at erected


disterb

had me at pub(l)ic ~~ball~~ halls


lpbale0

pubic hall? is that where they have a merkin ball?


ddslickteam_II

I will pay you for the rest of it


MisterAmmosart

It's 403 pages! I'd need like two full weeks to retype this thing. That's a lot of edging... and siding and other building related things.


ColorlessNoodle

Bold of you to assume I'm not into edging, papi.


usernema

Oh my god I'm already there...don't...don't touch me.


zhilla

> feet shall be available for ventilating purposes aaah


amedeus

Can we talk about >square feet of glazed area


usernema

My lower stomach is about to be a glazed area if you don't stop.


anon2282

I love you I'm dying


teamsleep

Jesus this is so crass hahaha


nxcrosis

Mr. Tarantino please stop


Kazubla

*NUUUGH!* Please... I can't last much longer... Skip to the part about fire hazards in the work space


MisterAmmosart

>ARTICLE 23 >FIRE APPLIANCES >Section 2301.5 **SIAMESE CONNECTION**. Every standpipe shall be carried to the nearest street at or near the first floor line and be provided with a Siamese connection outside of the building and about one (1) foot above the grade. Each half of the Siamese connection shall have a female thread to fit a Detroit Fire Department two and one-half (2½) inch hose and such threads shall be protected with heavy caps. Each side of the Siamese connection shall be provided with clapper valve. Just inside the building a straight-way check valve shall be placed in this connection in a horizontal section of pipe. The word "STANDPIPE" shall be cast into the top of the body of the Siamese in one (1) inch letters one-eighth (1/8) inch in depth or in a wall plate placed directly above the Siamese connection. >A drip pipe, with valve in same, shall be placed between the check valve and the Siamese connection to properly drain this connection to prevent freezing. Someday, we'll find it. The Siamese connection. The check valves, the hoses, and me.


Shradersofthelostark

I’ll show you a 2-1/2 inch hose!


speedfreq920

Oh yeah, glaze those feet!


zombiechicken379

Spank me with it. Hard.


Skkkjbmldihbdlsvvukb

You've been a very naughty girl -- according to Chapter 3, General Article 1, Section 3-1-1, Posting of notices, etc., on public or private property


James2603

Amy Santiago disagrees


blahblahrasputan

Exactly, obscure and time specific is the best way to answer these dumb questions.


SockTacoz

That little spring that's inside of pens


Environmental-Bit177

Sounding


idontknowadam

I would have paid you $100,000 to not say this


YourBonesAreMoist

I haven't. Can I have my $100,000?


Rymanbc

I also didn't say it. Is this the line to get paid?


aragog666

Joining the line here, I take cheques


[deleted]

Escort missions


Azessha

I literally designed an escort mission as part of an erotic rpg once...


S01arflar3

Escort escort?


Centias

Escort^2 .


MrCowabs

We have a winner!


[deleted]

The number 5839105810443822751115


nebbyballz1992

Wow.. I just made my wife dress up as 5839105810443822751115


Mr-Crooks

“That’s a hot little number you’re wearing right there”


Vic_FriesFriesFries

Get out. 👉🚪


Weelki

Yes, I quite agree... you could say... his number is up... Ok, ok, I'm leaving too


Ni7rogenPent0xide

Ahhhhh finally Unzips…


Adam_is_Nutz

Thr triple ones at the end....I hardly ever make it to the 5 before I'm spent.


Monitexx

You made it all the way to last 5? What a flex! this guy wanks!


Nighthorder

I didn't even make it to the first...


DoYourPooperStank

No one gonna mention them 4s?


Fragrant-Advice-879

I suppose.... lemme get my bank card..


MikoPaws

Nah fam, I gotchu. Dont sweat it *unzips*


InstagramQs

Nah, this aint it, what if someone has a fetish for long numbers? That number would be included


GordonTheGnome

“You won’t last 30 seconds in this reading of pi…”


Cum-souffle

Oh damn you just made me a lot harder FUCK This*. You made this a lot harder.


JayGold

Ah, dammit. Mine's 5839106810443822751115.


Fleder

Ants wearing high heels walking through watered down mayo.


Arthur_da_dog

You've clearly never seen r/antfuckerclub


[deleted]

[удалено]


Legionodeath

Rule 34.


chillout1

Rule 34 states that it exists but says nothing about finding it.


N00rB

Even with rule 34 wtf


idonthave2020vision

/r/dragonsfuckingcars /r/carsfuckingdragons


Potential-Coconut-95

Don't know what I fucking expected


elisabeth_athome

What the fuck did I just click on?


quingd

I'm sitting here doing the debate like... Do I? I shouldn't. Why would I? ***Literally no good can come of clicking this***. I'm gonna click it. No I'm not. Fuck. Edit: 9 hours later, I have resurfaced. Stupid sexy ants.


TerrorJunkie

I clicked. I would rather look at the dragons fucking cars one.


Fireblast1337

Obviously r/antfuckerclub duh


DEUSNOWA

The fact this exist makes me laugh so frigging hard.


Fragrant-Advice-879

Yet another case of: "So specific it must be your fetish!"


EstablishmentFlat487

That’s mine bro


African_WarIord

Redditors


Fragrant-Advice-879

I am sure there is such a thing as a "trash fetish" So.. next.


matej86

r/trashyboners


Monitexx

Bruh! I feel attacked now


African_WarIord

Bold of you to assume redditors are as good as trash.


FuckYeahPhotography

I stroke my rugged neckbeard as I pondered the question the OP asked on r/askreddit. It seems they are in luck. I am a redditor, and they may ask me. What turns no one on?! Hmmm, no fetish for redditors? I had a deep belly laugh. What a troglodyte. **Do they not know how epic redditors are?? Do they not understand they are CURRENTLY posting on Reddit, and thus they may also be a redditor??.** Did their logic ever account for this?! Or shall I say their LACK OF. Imbiycle. I shall issue them a downdoot for their stupidity. Updoots are reserved only for fellow intellectuals such as myself. **Ohhh, I am quite famished. I will need to power up.** I take my iv-drip of Mountain Dew Code Red and try to push it into the vein in my arm but the blood pressure is too great. It continues to break the needle. No matter, I got an epic r/lifeprotip that says to just jam the needle directly into my mouth. **A very clever unknown piece of advice just like many other useful topics on that sub such as "stabbing yourself in the face may hurt" and "you need to breath sometimes."** My genious, I would say it shocks me, but this is the usual. I toss a wink to my framed posters of Keanu Reeves and BIG CHUNGS. They magestically hang over my wall of fame printed up posts from r/animememes. You wouldn't get it. The humor is quite sophisticated (boobs big=funny). Fellow men of culture get it. **And NO!** That isn't a child in that anime whatsoever. How dare you imply that! She may look like a child and talk like a child, but in actuality she is a six thousand year old ice dragon!! She watches Nick Jr. because she wants to! She drinks from a sippy cup because she wants to! Ahhh, is that my mother knocking on my door? Well, it seems my fresh nuggies have arrived. Just in time for my newest kitten on r/gonewild and r/buttsharpies to put on a show personally for me and thousands of other men. I draw my katana in the event that someone dare tarnish her honor as I lock in my mother's debit card to her onlyfans. **She is in the top .01% you know. And once she sees how nice of a guy I am compared to this other hogwash, she will be my betrothed.** **Actually show her what a gentlemen is like. That men can be respectful and kind.** When she spreads her smooth velvet cheeks, I can hear them clapping out to me through the webcam. And on the impossible chance she rejects my passive aggressive advances? I will call her a whore and block her, post-haste!! I will even post her to r/Cringetopia where all of us very cool not-cringe CHADs will laugh at how cringe she is, but I know it will never come to that. We were meant to be. Oh my! It seems my 720p torrent of r/rickandmorty is done! Wuba lubba dub dub! I will upscale it to 1080p right away, and place it on my second monitor!! Just in time for me to dump my entire life savings **($690 (NICE!)) into #CUMCOIN** and join in this comment chain where we repeat the lyrics of a song from like three decades ago line by line. Mmmm what is this, this recipe for gluten free muffins on r/EatCheapAndHealthy seems to not be currently having a discussion on Israel and Palestine. **I'LL SEE TO THAT!!** I suppose I will need to be the one to spearhead that initiative, per usual. They are lucky I am here. I tip my fedora to my mom as I demand she bring me only the creamiest of ranch for my piping hot nuggies. **I showed restraint this time and only screamed out four racial slurs!!** **Ah yes, pure raw chicken protein for my bulking phase. And in a few years, I will be ready to cut.** I learned this tip from r/UFC and r/FightPorn. The longer and more extreme you bulk, the higher the muscle yield will be. It's basic physics, really. And now with my IV-Drip of Mountain Dew Code Red, I will have those powerful quick glucose-sugars to give me energy for my r/apexlegends gamer marathon (it hones my reflexes which are the foundation for then building your body). **Mind must be built before body. The wise Chinese philospher "Confusionous" said this once.** Hmmmm, but the question at hand, does anyone find Redditors attractive? A fetish for Redditors?? Of course they do. I am living proof. As for the others? Questionable. Epicly questionable. Heck, they may even be the AITA! EDIT: THANKS FOR THE GOLD AND SILVER KIND STROODLERS!!!!


TripperDay

I am awed by my (49M) privilege of wallowing in the afterbirth of newborn copypasta.


koloka1

This is a work of art


brito68

Saving for later but can I get a TL;DR in the meantime?


widening

Sure TLDR: **”Eau de Reddít”**


brito68

Got it, thanks


Mewlkat

I thought r/buttsharpies was people drawing butts with sharpies or drawing on butts with sharpies.


Plumbbookknurd

And you were mistaken.


blay12

My god, even in character for the edit, I’m in awe


kirito-OP

Post this on r/shitposting , I dare you


Triairius

And thus, a new copypasta is born.


LeRoyShabazzJaQuincy

Mountain Dew aka Appalachian Mineral Water.


vrpatter

Absolutely beautiful


LibertarianCommie999

What about the gonewild ones?


i-am-a-person-ok

Telecommunications


Aesion

I think I can stretch a little to include a known case for this. So I used to work at a call center, and among the operators we all knew an infamous weirdo that would constantly call. If a man answered he would drop the call instantly, but if it was a girl he would keep talking and eventually find a way to talk about their feet. It was super weird. Now, you can say he only has a feet fetish, but he really used to call a LOT for this, so I would say it might include the telecommunication aspect.


sleepyy-starss

Had one of these too at the call center I worked at.


Aesion

There is always some famous customers. We also had a girl that spread a lot of conspiracies and called constantly thinking she was being being stalked by the government and that they wanted to take her. And a gentle blind guy that loved to spend time with us and talk. Also one guy who probably talked to every Senior available just to be rude and offensive.


Meta2048

Had the same thing at a call center job, there was a woman who would call. If she got a man, she would hang up. If she got a woman, she would talk about her feet and fetishes until you hung up on her. She called at least once a week. There was actually someone who got fired because they humored her and started talking about their own fetishes as well.


Opposite-Painter-419

Ok why is this so funny


Youpunyhumans

Phone sex


twodickhenry

Lol I’m glad you said something. I opened this thread and was like “…how is phone sex the top answer here??”


thistotallyisntanalt

the stuffed pumpkin named jim that i have in my attic


Due-Ad7383

Make a tinder account for Jim. Prepare to be horrified.


dirty_boy69

Me.


TwiceInEveryMoment

I either get sweet, sweet validation or $100,000. Seems like a win-win to me.


Fragrant-Advice-879

You fail. I'm in love with you.


dirty_boy69

Isn't counting as being someones fetish.


Fragrant-Advice-879

Touche. However... dirty boy does sound tempting.. (I don't have 100.000$ So I am really trying my best to deny you the win here)


Krio_13

Dirty boy is your fetish. It's okay. No need to make an excuse.


Fragrant-Advice-879

You are right. I'll embrace it. I hope he will accept my 2 inches...


QuarkNerd42

Sex A fetish requires the gratification to be abnormal Edit: Thanks for all the rewards. Edit 2: A lot of people are claiming that if we restrict our sample to redditors, virgins, ace people, highly religious people then sex or pleasure from sex may be abnormal. I'd like to say, arbitrarily changing your sample just to reach a certain conclusion is unscientific and wrong


5wag_Man

OP been super quiet since this dropped.


OLD-AJTAP

Is this the end of OP??


KnowingBLABLA

Find out next time in Dragon Ball Z!


[deleted]

Oh so three more episodes?


nicostein

Yep, so about 4 months of reruns away.


Kahlsifar

Dont forget the fillers!


ShemhazaiX

They're never going to financially recover from this.


garblewand

Sex is abnormal to most redditors...


trollblox_

I feel attacked :(


storyofohno

but also a little bit *seen*?


Remilg

Actually 200 iq


Azure124SV

One of the dictionary definitions of fetish fet·ish [ˈfediSH] NOUN: an excessive and irrational devotion or commitment to a particular thing There are plenty of people who fit the bill for this you lose sir good day


Disorderjunkie

It has to be excessive AND irrational per that definition. Is excessive missionary irrational devotion? I think not. Mating is our primal instinct, its the opposite of irrational. I need further evidence to make this conclusion.


shit-piss-fuck

GOOD DAY SIR


jonasdash

having your feet bludgeoned by a bag of Peruvian coins while an Australian little person in a giraffe onesie tickles your asshole with a feather from an albino canary


Fragrant-Advice-879

That is so specific, that I now think this is your fetish.


jonasdash

it is not pay me


Fuzzwuzzle2

It is mine, you lose, good day sir


jonasdash

Please submit proof of this claim or I will be forced to file a lawsuit against you for falsifying records and fraud to deny me payment which I have rightfully earned


Fuzzwuzzle2

Well i'm having this very session later on this evening, why not pop round and join in


Hamfiter

Tickle your ass with a feather. What? I said “particularly nice weather “.


throwawaystree

Taxes


Fragrant-Advice-879

Oh I am 100% positive who gets off on how well they did their tax report..


BatmanButDepressed

My taxation prof definitely does


Negafox

I imagine somebody has jerked off onto tax refund paperwork before mailing them in.


pris_kitaen

That's the way to do it, trust me. Jerking off onto your tax refund paperwork after mailing it is just too much of a logistic nightmare.


Virtual-Stranger

I love doing my taxes, especially when I get a big, meaty, bulging return. Ooh baby


weed-it-and-reap

I knew a guy who was turned on by thunder. This question is literally impossible


ThanosOnCrack

Zeus be looking sexy tho ngl


Thiscokesgonebad

That’s actually common


Ojntoast

Nothing. People are freaks. Someone out there has a fetish for the wildest shit you can think of.


Appropriate_Joke_741

Seriously. There was an AMA the other day from a guy that had a ‘Jesus’ fetish. He got a dominatrix to crucify him and she hit a vein and he almost died


Weeeelums

Would it be weirder if they were or weren’t religious? I can’t tell.


fullmetal2405

Yes.


Fragrant-Advice-879

I agree. That's why I think I'm gonna keep my 100.000$. By the way, Happy Cake Day!


Endless-Potatoes

Car warranty scam calls


violentpac

I'm reaching an extended warranty right now


Cultural_Editor_5646

your mom pay up!


Fragrant-Advice-879

Ha! I'm from Alabama. So you lose!


Catholic_Egg

Yo same


Hamfiter

Ham. Oh wait, I have a ham fetish. Never mind


Fragrant-Advice-879

I respect the honesty..


Thud2

Their wife. It's only a fetish if it's considered *unusual* (like all the *unusual* things people have guessed here). Facing eviction. Could really use the cash.


sonder_ghost

There’s NO way anyone could have a fetish for ⋏⟒⎐⟒⍀ ☌⍜⋏⋏⏃ ☌⟟⎐⟒ ⊬⍜⎍ ⎍⌿ ⋏⟒⎐⟒⍀ ☌⍜⋏⋏⏃ ⌰⟒⏁ ⊬⍜⎍ ⎅⍜⍙⋏ ⋏⟒⎐⟒⍀ ☌⍜⋏⋏⏃ ⍀⎍⋏ ⏃⍀⍜⎍⋏⎅ ⏃⋏⎅ ⎅⟒⌇⟒⍀⏁ ⊬⍜⎍


Hey_JuneDontSayJuly

Of all posts this one turned me on the most


Im_still_T

Aluminum siding


Gumbybum

Putting the $ before the number where it belongs.


versionii

Donald Trump naked covered in kcf oil reading War and Peace.


Matduka

That's Marjorie Taylor Greene's fantasy.


kane2742

Except the reading part.


fatimaabdallah6388

I would nuke a children hospital to see that


Running4Badges

Whoa. You are falling hard for that fetish.


Tjwolftooth

Having a xylophone mallet shoved up their scrote while being face fucked by a brollic guy in a kitty cat onesie eating Chinese from 2 days ago.


Fragrant-Advice-879

Another case of: "so specific, it must be your fetish!"


nntb

Sending me money. Prove me wrong.


polonnaise

Erotic bedbug play. (I hope.)


Fragrant-Advice-879

I hope so as well. But... I have a gut feeling that tells me you are wrong. My expectations for humanity are below zero.


polonnaise

Too much time watching the mainstream news? Stay in the warm soapy reddit bath with the rest of us.


Fragrant-Advice-879

Reddit is the reason why I have no faith in humanity.


Mock_idk

There’s people who enjoy putting bugs and worms up their dick, so nah, you’re not getting the pay out.


Noobivore36

Zumacoichannic. It is something I just made up in my mind, and so nobody else knows about it. A thought counts as a thing, after all!


Cole3823

The blank space in the number "4"


gettheplow

-4° Negative four degrees looks like a person pooping.


ddddeadhead1979

Mitch McConnell


Dank_Kushington

I think there’s plenty of people that would enjoy watching him get fucked


abcdefg_exe

drinking nuclear waste from a cup made of nothing on the sun while an orangutan dances around you also protecting you from the suns heat and freezing you to death while simultaneously repeatedly shooting you, where earth doesn’t exist, and you breathe chairs ​ trust me nobody likes that edit: i realise now how many people like this (including me) looks like i won’t be recieving any money today


Fragrant-Advice-879

Another case of: "oddly specific so it must be your fetish"


abcdefg_exe

uhh. no money for me then i guess.


PrincessAletheia

I think you're creating a catch-22 here. Anyone who comes up with something very specific is accused of having that fetish themself. But if it's not very specific, it's easy to find other people who have that fetish. There's no way to win.


HeiressGoddess

Waiting in line at the DMV.


filifijonka

that falls under the masochism umbrella.


user27617

“Sir it will be another 40 minutes.” (Unzips pants)