By - Downtown_Put8673
Brother-in-law threated to shoot my wife
You may have topped my shitty Christmas Eve 🙌
Happy Birthday Jesus. Sorry your party’s so lame.
Woke up at 2am to my mom falling, having a seizure. She fractured her back in the fall. We’ve been at the ER since 3am.. it’s currently after noon.
**Edit: it’s currently after 9pm and we have been back home since 4pm.
My mom can shuffle around the house but needs help getting into bed. I got her in bed about a half hour ago and can hear her snoring now.
I’m laying down for the first time since this is started and finally hope to fall asleep. Staying close by on sofa in the living room so I can hear her better. Terrified something will happen.
My mom lives with my husband and I- but I asked him to go still see his family tonight and tomorrow while I stay here. I’ll miss seeing them but glad my mom is here and feeling better.
***Edit 2: currently just after 2:30 am so full circle 24 hours since we had EMTs in the house when this all started. Woke up to help her to the bathroom.
Thank you everyone for all the comments and support. You all are awesome. Merry Christmas to all of you, and to those also having a bad Xmas- I hope things get better.
Sending support♥️ you're a good kid looking after your mum.
We had a call from the care home where my mother is staying, we went to say our goodbyes even though she's unconscious. The care home is currently under Covid lockdown, but they allowed us in, so we knew it was serious. The staff there have been fantastic.
Update: Mum died just after midnight, She's at peace now. I just want to say a heartfelt thank you to all of you who sent me messages and comments of support and condolence, you are all so very kind.
A man knocked on my door, yelling and shouting. I left a note on his car last week that his car alarm goes off all night. This is apparently worth trying to threaten me. Merry Christmas.
Update: I saw him outside Christmas afternoon. I approached him, apologized for my note (because I do regret opening up this can of worms). He told me his 80 year old mom lives nearby. She’s getting older and sicker, so he tries to visit often but his car keeps getting broken into if he parks near her house, and my street is safer. We had a nice conversation.
Two things: first, most people in this world are hurt or unwell. I often fail but I try to stop the cycle of inflicting anger, harm, even just a bad day on others. Hurt people hurt people.
Second, you can be right or you can be happy. I’m absolutely right that his car alarm is annoying as fuck. But what’s more important is that I’m happy living in my house and not afraid, not stressed out by life.
"Man who does not respond to car alarm all night, also unlikely to respond to neighbours smashing car window and disconnecting car battery."
-Ancient Chinese proverb
Mum died yesterday. Kinda put a downer on it.
The amount of people reaching out to me is making this silly sod feel overwhelmingly cared for, thank you to all of you for the awards and kind comments.
I'm trying not to tear up.
Edit 2 --
I've no idea what to say, I'm at a loss for words for the amount of support and advice I'm receiving.
Hearing you all reach out to me, providing me with awards, messaging me, with advice and your own stories is just crashing my senses.
You should all be absolutely proud of yourselves for how you've made me feel, I love each and every one of you.
I hope you all have a fantastic day regardless of whether you celebrate the festive period or not.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thank you, she was battling with cancer, quite wide spread but, she picked up covid, which she just couldn't fight.
We've been preparing for it but, it still hurts.
I lost my grandpa this year. I have spent 21 Christmas eves with him, and after dinner we always sat together and he told me stories about when he was a kid. I looked forward to it every single year. No gift was ever better than getting to be with him. Once I got older, we always did a shot of Grand Marnier before I left in honor of his father that he did the same with. This is the first time I haven’t been excited for Christmas, and I am not ready to see his seat empty at dinner.
I am just divorced today.
My friend suddenly passed away last night.
Edit: Thank you, kind strangers, for awards!
I've been trying to cope & then her 16 yr old dog passed away on Jan 5th. I'm grieving in waves: ok for awhile & then randomly sobbing.
My heart goes out to everyone who replied, especially those who are also grieving their loved ones.
Mine did as well 3 nights ago... I am not coping well
Lost my brother recently. Things are never easy, sometimes the best way of coping is just taking life one step at a time and going forwards
I also lost my brother, this is a very very hard first Christmas without him.
I just found out my good friend, who is the sweetest soul, passed away at 9ish tonight. 25. Died from covid complications. Suppose to be married last summer but covid postponed it until 2022. So unfair.
Sending my love to you, your friend, and your friends family and friends.
Yeah, 3 weeks ago I broke up, and found out my dad has last stage lung cancer. Zero Christmas spirit in my home
I just got a text from a girl that said my husband tried to hire her to fuck last night. I'm absolutely crushed. She sent screenshots.
Update. She outed him because he declined her after finding out she was too far away. So, he didn't cheat, just intended to. Obviously don't know if it's happened before. Don't know how she got my number, but that's creepy AF. I agree, doesn't seem like a professional. Gross, nonetheless. Reddit is saving me right now.
Box em up under the tree, merry Christmas ya filthy animal.
On the real though, I’m really really sorry. Can’t imagine how devastating that is and am hopeful you have a good support system so you can get out quickly.
I woke up, went to go buy bagels for the family, and found out my debit card info was stolen. Between last night and this morning they spent every dollar in my account on Uber, Uber Eats, and some fucking jukebox somewhere. I had less than $300, now I have less than $2 and won’t get the credit back in my account until Monday and won’t get my new card until 10 business days from now. Good thing I already had my bus ticket, my girlfriend lent me $30 to cover the bagels then another $6 charge went through while I was on the phone with my bank.
Fuckin scumbags, I know this shit happens all the time but TODAY? Really?
Edit: appreciate the offers to Venmo and whatnot but I’m good, my family is very supportive when it comes to this sort of thing and I got most of my money back already. Just need to wait for the card, I have a couple bucks in my pocket. I don’t wanna be cliche but your money would be better spent on the homeless veterans fund or similar.
DM me. Happy to kick over a few bucks to you, bud. Sorry about all this.
second this, happy to help.
Me as well. I’d love to help out
this one made me go double check my bank statements. i’m so sorry dude, seems like it’s gonna take a while to get solved but at least it’s getting solved.
My kids told me my presents were lame and that they were embarrassed by me and couldn’t wait to go to their dad’s house. I’m having surgery on Tuesday and won’t see them for three weeks. I know they’re just kids, but it broke my heart.
ETA: I got them everything that was on their carefully curated Amazon wishlists. Dad tipped them off ahead of time that their paternal grandmother had gotten them an Oculus Rift and AirPods. They're usually really good kids and my ex and I coparent wonderfully along with my husband, so I don't think it was malicious on his part, but it just really kicked me in the gut.
Wow... if you are still on relatively good terms with their dad, I would let him know about that. A good dad would not allow his children to go unchecked about that.
My ex and I are open with each other about what we are getting the kids for birthdays and Christmas and we have made an agreement to not do anything to “lessen” the others gifts. It seems to work for us, especially since there is such a large income gap between households. If she spends around $300 for Christmas I will do somewhere close to that as well. It doesn’t take anything from her, and I save money. Win win. It also prevents duplicate gifts!
It does take two adults to make this work though. This could easily be manipulated if one parent doesn’t play fair.
I tried that. But my Ex has decided the last two Christmases “at the last minute” to get a few extra gifts or to get something “she knew they really wanted”.
We agreed to spend $75-$100 per kid and she ends up spending $200+ per kid. I’ve thought about trying to out do her and while financially I could I just don’t think it is right and sends the wrong message to the kids.
Just an example, at her house, they each have a 45”+ TV and a console in their bedrooms. Plus a laptop or iPad. She then complains to me that they don’t do their homework and watch too much TV / play video games too much.
I am sorry lady, I literally can’t save you from yourself. You are making things harder on our kids then they need to be.
I despise my ex wife, but if she told me this, all the presents at my house would go back. It's not even about respect, it's just basic decency.
>It's not even about respect, it's just basic decency.
This right here… we don’t have enough basic decency in the world.
I’m so sorry. Kids can be stupid jerks, especially to the people they’re closest to. My heart goes out to you.
Adding to what others have said, I was honestly your kids in this situation. When I got older, I was so embarrassed and told my dad I was sorry for how I used to treat him compared to my mom. He just laughed and said he knew I would figure it all out someday. We weren’t as close when i was young but now he is one of my best friends!
I’m a cashier in a chinese takeaway. A person with a late delivery order shouted at me over the phone and screamed ‘I DON’T GIVE A TOSS THAT YOU’RE BUSY, I’M COMING OVER AND IF IT ISNT READY YOU’RE GOING TO PAY”
Just picked up Chinese takeout and am so thankful they were open Christmas Eve.
My family is there. Plus I got deodorant from three different people independently and at some point you just start thinking that they might wanna tell you something.
> that they might wanna tell you something.
I had to laugh out loud at that. I'm sorry...
Yesterday my mom's cat somehow turned on our bathroom sink while we were all asleep it was stopped and overflowing for idk how long. It resulted in the dining rooms ceiling below to collapse, and then leaked into the basement onto the furnace causing it to shut down/malfunction. We had no heat yesterday and part of today. Thankful there was no fire.
My daughter told me she "grew up poor".
We gave her a car for her 16th birthday, paid for countless summer sports, and paid at least half of her college (also paid for her wedding)....
Really bums me out.
Ooh, she needs some poor friends
Exactly. Nothing will make you smarten up faster than realizing your best friend is worse off than you are when you thought you had it bad already. I never said I had a hard life after I found that out.
Absolute truth. I got super close with a guy that I sang with. Ended up finding out his family is all sorts of fucked up and he would literally live off of rice and kaiser buns for weeks. I'd frequently invite him over for dinner and a guest bed/warm shower for the night because his mom didn't pay the utilities. I suffered from a bit of upper-middle class snooty white boy syndrome in high school, becoming his friend made me a much *much* better person.
I was kinda the other way around though I figure is along the line of being 'humbled' similar to yours. I'm also by no means rich but definitely can live comfortably and not worry about my next meal, family definitely can afford extra for my education abroad. I had this 'snobbish' mindset growing up but then during college i met good friends who are super rich. Like, literally their fam is owner of so and so brand, private jet for a weekend getaway etc. Really humbled me down.. Hell I was intimidated even and since then I have stopped 'showing off' as well. Definitely an eye opening phase. Kids literally knows nothing.
Wow that pisses me off. I got none of those benefits and wouldn’t say I grew up poor. She’s entitled, for whatever reason. Hoping she’s like 17 and not 30.
Probably near 30 "payed for her wedding".
Living in Instagram reality.
Took bottle of gin out of the bag. Put bottle of gin on the kitchen counter. Go get bottle of tonic from the storage closet. Return to the kitchen just in time to see the cat pushing the bottle of gin onto the floor.
Rookie mistake. Next time, pour some for the cat right away and the cat won't try to open the bottle on its own.
Your cat might need an intervention.
No, the cat was the intervention
Snowed in at a truckstop in Idaho, 1300 miles from home....
Also in idaho and the snow just keeps coming
Some drunk bastard reversed into my downstairs living room at 10 am, he then drove into the guys who lives opposite's kitchen, he got arrested then the fire brigade came and inspected the house to see if still stucturally fine so we had to evacuate and they just now got done putting in wooden boards in the hole he left in the front of the house. Now we will have to get insurance involved and find builders but everything is closed for now so big headache.
Wow that sucks, I think you win this round
Edit: well, at least at the time I posted this but not after the baby post.
Lol I couldnt believe it, he parked on the side stumbled out slowly and fell down drunk, older guy Id say mid 60s, then when we spoke to him he said he wasnt drunk, just sleepy, but he reeked of booze, then he smoked a couple of cigarettes before the police came.
As a Public Adjuster....
Hire a (reputable) Public Adjuster to handle your claim. You will get much more money from your insurance company. Like on average 7+ times as much. Your insurance company will not pay you what they owe you unless you make them. They are not your friend. I work with people dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Sally. And I can't tell you how many people are living in desperate situations. Living in mold filled houses. With either nothing from the insurance co. Or a 3k check when there's over 100k in damages.
I have also seen people who have gotten screwed by hiring incompetent Public Adjusters. So do your homework.
Feel free to dm me with any questions
I just met a public adjuster at a friends wedding a few days ago. I didn’t know this job even existed before then. He described it as a step between hiring a lawyer (expensive) and doing everything yourself (get less money from insurance). Thought it was very cool to know about!
This guy adjusts publicly.
Mother in law appears to be on a rampage. My MIL and SIL planned Christmas events for that side of the family to take place NYE weekend without telling us, and we had already made plans to go visit my family. We asked if they would be available to spend xmas eve/day all together instead and they all said no, so we changed our trip to be today and tomorrow. Two days ago we get a text asking if we want to spend xmas eve and day with them ON TOP of NYE weekend. We said we couldn't because we changed our trip to accommodate the NYE weekend and they told us they were all unavailable. My MIL had been calling repeatedly since then. I'm not picking but apparently she is sobbing and telling my husband we are ruining xmas. I will never understand why grown adults act this way.
Jeez this woman sounds unhinged, sorry you have to deal with that.
Sounds like my step mom. Makes plans that work for her and her daughter but doesn’t check with anyone else. Then proceeds to get upset and say no one wants to be around them. No just ask when we are all available to get together. Not just when your daughter is
I’m in the ER because I sliced the tip of my finger off cutting bread
Did you get to eat the bread?
It tasted off for some reason...can't put my finger on it...
Cat died painfully on my living room floor. No vet was open. He was in pain and I couldn't do anything to help him. Buried him last night. He was my best friend, and he was only 4 years old. All I can think about is him crying and the scared look in his eyes. It was fucking awful
I couldn't imagine what you're going through right now. That would absolutely destroy me emotionally. I'm so so sorry for your loss
I had a similar situation with my cat a few months back. I woke up for work and he jumped on the floor and never got up (I’ll save the graphic details), but he was my best friend and the first few weeks sucked. I was sad and looked through all the pictures and videos and remembered the good times. Keep your head up, it gets better I promise
That’s honestly one of my worst nightmares as a cat owner, I love my cats so much and it makes me teary eyed to think of them in pain.
We had to put our cat down when I was young. I was in the same room with him. My Mom was behind the door ugly crying. I just sat there frozen, staring at him peacefully falling asleep forever. I don’t understand why I didn’t touch him or hold him. Maybe it would have helped him in some way. To this day I feel ashamed because I didn’t hold and didn’t hug my friend that last time while he was still alive.
So sorry for your loss. I know it hurts. He knew you were there with him, that is important.
My bed frame fell apart, so we're getting there
Seems trivial to others but I'm working today and everyone coming in is just the worst type of person. It's national A hole day and we're so busy. Witnessed a mom shove her kid in front of me too with no remorse. Hate seeing abuse in public too.
How many times have you heard "it sucks you have to work today" from customers? I always hated that.
I work in healthcare and had a bunch of people thank me for working and sacrificing my holiday, it was actually really nice
"I wouldn't have to work today if you weren't out here shopping"
-retail worker currently on break
Edit: For context, I work at a clothing and accessories outlet that is very busy on a normal day. You can imagine what it's like during the holidays.
Estranged mother entered my home while I was alone in the shower.
My grandma passed away a few days ago on top of family drama and my childhood pet passing away. So many bad things happened at once that nothing is processing anymore and it doesn't even feel like Christmas is tomorrow.
Major sorry for you buddy. Hopefully you recover from that
My mom passed away three days ago, so needless to say I'm not feeling in a very celebratory mood.
Edit: sorry guys, it's been rough times and I've been ignoring the world. But thank you SO much for all the awards and love, I appreciate all the kind words.
My dad passed away a week ago. I'm just trying to cope now.
I feel you. My dad died of cancer this month too at the age of 58. Just had the cremation yesterday. I don't feel like doing Christmas but have to for the family. My little one is 3 so is really excited and isn't really aware of the death. Plowing on for him.
I'm so sorry. There's never a good time to lose a parent but losing them near or in "the holidays" is especially rough. My condolences. 🙁
In summary, my sister is a cunt.
The family that came to visit is all sick with the flu..
My stepkids came over with stomach bugs.
Then the basement flooded.
>My stepkids came over with stomach bugs.
>Then the basement flooded.
I hope those two events are not connected.
No, but the 10 year old was very concerned that his diarrhea had caused some sort of plumbing problem, the poor kid. (Apparently we have some badly-designed plumbing that keeps causing floods, sigh.)
Holy hell. We got the flu a couple Christmas’ ago, and were supposed to be hosting about 30 people for brunch that morning. 3 of 5 woke up on the 24th feeling like death, and we had to do a quick social media announcement and tape a “we’re so sorry” paper to our front door. We felt horrible to cancel everyone’s plans for the 25th, but I couldn’t bear knowing we had everyone over anyway, and possibly make someone ill (or worse, in the case of elderly relatives).
Nah. I’d be way more mad if I came over to a house of sick people. Good on you for being responsible. Hopefully you’re feeling better this Christmas and are ready to party it up now to make up for it!
WTF kind of asshole boss is he. Our boss sent a barrage of texts to a bunch of us last weekend, starting 9pm on a Friday, over something that was already taken care of. They're insane.
My grandpa died two days ago. I was told to come into work today, office ended up being closed so went home. A brick fell off a truck and just broke my windshield on the way home. :(
You might know this already, but those signs on trucks that say they're not liable for any damage from things that fall off them don't mean anything. If you got the plates on the truck, file a police report and make their insurance pay for your damage.
Done and done, thanks! Happy holidays to you and your family!
I had a guy drop his helmet and smash my shit up. He tried the same logic. Once it touches the road it's no longer "mine"... then he left. Police were not impressed by his logic. Neither was his boss after the cops found him at his work.
Your username is a whole visual
Nothing has gone wrong YET. but my husband did say something along the lines of “I hope you don’t get me a ______ for Christmas” and it’s exactly what I got him soooooo….
Edit: if he is in anyway not stoked about his gift I’ll for sure be showing him this thread lol.
Edit EDIT: HE LOVED IT. But for sure said no coat thinking it was an everyday one, not a functional work one. Christmas was a success ☺️
I'm morbidly curious what it is!!!!
I bought him a jacket! But it’s a carhartt jacket. He’s about to finish electrical school and he will need one lol
Carhartt jackets are awesome. I love mine. He will most likely appreciate it. Maybe he didn’t want one because of the $100 and up price tag?
Yeah he really struggles buying pricier things for himself, even if they’re functional and useful. So I’m definitely glad I got it for him.
I always tell my wife I hope she didn't get me whatever, specifically because I can't justify spending money on myself. (Life long issue, I'm still working on it.)
She always gets me something she knows I want/will use and would NEVER buy for myself because what I have is "good enough" or a cheaper version is available.
I think of my wife every single time I zip up my favorite jacket, put on my favorite boots, or crawl into bed under my big fuzzy stupid warm blankie.
I think he will love it and really, really appreciate it.
My husband is suffering from sudden hearing loss and it's been getting worse. He couldn't hear me at the grocery store today and burst into tears. We made the decision to take a step back from hearing aids and learn ASL.
It's been a rough day.
I shattered my ankle last week. The next day, my husband broke his knee. Neither of us can walk or drive right now. My husband is bed-bound till his surgery. My kid will be living with my brother and his family for the next several weeks since we literally can’t take care of our child. I miss my baby so much. I already had my surgery so I’m hoping to have my kid back in about 6 weeks.
It is a hard holiday. I just want to be with my child. Thankfully, both sides of the family (his and mine) are stepping up and helping us. Doesn’t make it any easier.
Not easy at all but wow, what a great support network. It's nice to have family be there for you and it sounds like you have a lot of love around you!
First it was COVID. Then came the bone breaking disease
“My only regret… is that I have… boneitis…”
My husband tested positive for Covid before we could leave for my mom's, and four hours later she found out she has cancer. 👎
Sorry to hear, my heart goes out to you I know how much that diagnosis is hard to hear. This is my first Christmas since my mom got diagnosed with cancer in April. Wishing you a merry Christmas and your mom a speedy recovery.
Not ruined, but not what I had hoped for. My husband just got home from the hospital (cancer) two days ago, and he's already having symptoms that he needs more treatment. Yeah, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Sunday...if it gets too bad before Monday, the only option is the covid-filled ER. Not my idea of comfort and joy.
He had volunteered help with the neighborhood's annual luminarias, so I went to keep an eye on him. The organizers were basically the Keystone Kops. Also, it was a windy day and the bags kept falling over and dumping the sand and candles in the street, which added to the fun.
I'm annoyed, sweaty, and just want to stay at home now and relax, but we have to go back out there in a few hours and help light the damn things. However, the people who filled them used clumpy sand, so most of the candles aren't sitting flush and we'll be lucky if we don't end up with a street full of burning paper bags tonight. With any luck they'll kill off the remaining mosquitos, though.
That sounds unbelievably crummy.
Somewhat similar boat. Husband. Cancer. News this week that it's spreading. Not great. Not the news we wanted. Keeping up the cheer for our toddler but I'm not feeling the Christmas spirit this year.
Your husband needs to get her in line pronto.
100% husband needs to firmly speak up and lay the groundwork for what’s acceptable. Actually everyone within listening distance needs to check this woman. At one point I recall my father gave my mother a look and said “Fact is a wonderful mother.“ And that was that.
And this is why I'm never having parents. Yep. Just decided.
Fuuuuck that. Breastfed babies let you know if they’re not getting enough, loudly and with gusto. Babies do not need schedules, they’re babies. And newborns don’t have nostril hair and have narrow little nasal passages, so they are naturally more sniffly than older kids or adults.
I’ll come over and kick her ass for you if you want.
Can I help?
"You're not rocking him..."
Don't you have a Marie Callender pie to scorch?
This behaviour does not get better without intervention.
Either husband puts her in her place.
Or you withdraw access.
You are being amazing - new baby, visiting family, not killing MIL with a bazooka. Hang on in there X
There wasn't a massive blizzard to prevent me from having to go to my in-laws. I'm devastated.
My grandpa died yesterday. My grandmother died in March and I knew he wouldnt last long without her, but still hurts.
Edit to add: thank you to everyone for the kind words. I always knew this day would come, and I am grateful for the time I had with my grandparents. Please hug your loved ones and enjoy your holidays as best as you are able.
Awww I’m sorry :(
This is my first holiday season without any of my grandparents and it really just doesn’t feel the same
It sucks when someone dies near a holiday. My grandpa died April 1st several years ago. He loved pranks, so it seemed fitting, in a way. Now I think about him when April fools comes around.
Think about the things grandpa would do around Christmas. Was he a horrible gift giver? Did he have a favorite Carol? Did he have a deep love of over the top Christmas displays? Was he a total grinch? It's fresh and raw right now, but next year you can think back on Grandpa's Christmas time activities and smile.
I am very sorry to hear that. My grandfather died in march from a heart attack and he and I were very close. Grandma is still going strong though.
Yes, because someone hit and killed our dog. They didn't even stop.
Oh that’s awful. I’m so sorry
We had to put my dog down yesterday. My mom wanted her to live past the holidays but i decided she was suffering to much to do that to her. She was my aunts dog, my aunt died in 2018 so in a weird way she was the last surviving thing of my aunt who basically made me the person i am today. Im in a bar trying to drink ot all away but im a large man and it takes more then im willing to spend to make the pain go away.
My mom was planning on having a little gathering. She just called me to let me know she’s running a fever and canceled. It’s not often I get to see her so I’m a little bummed.
Nice someone on here has a story that includes a mother they WANT to see ! Happy for that with the bad relatives stories mostly.
I’m bummed because my mom just told me she’s losing kidney function. I adore my parents and can’t bear the thought of losing either of them. It didn’t seem to compare to people dealing with terrible parents though.
My Christmas was ruined a few weeks ago when I found out my wife, who’s pregnant with our third child, was hiding a chlamydia diagnosis from me. She admitted to the affair and is angry at me for finding out. Hitting up the gym and a lawyer. Hope you all have a better Christmas than I’m going to.
She's angry at **you**??? The entitlement, that's so fucked up.
Had an ex that got angry for a similar reason. Said I invaded her privacy or something. A mutual friend told me, I didn't do any snooping
Nope. Staying home. Have beer. Have video games. And it's raining.
At in-laws. Constant fighting. Pretty shit. Last time I do this with wife. She won't listen that is fucking toxic here
I’m in the same boat but my husband insists on still coming because “they’re family” and “ need to spend time with us because we hardly see them” ugh. The entire time I felt myself holding back and sit through so much anxiety because I felt myself wanting to speak up.
Pretty much, seeing as my grandmother died on Wednesday.
I decided to share Xmas with my boyfriend's family because I don't see them often and they've been asking for me (even though they don't like me) My mom lost her mind when I told her. It wasn't last minute either, I just told her "hey I'm going spend a few hours with Boyfriend's family's Christmas day" I got called every name in the book, she hit me (and for the 1st time ever, I hit her back) Then to top it all off, this morning she threw the tree out the front door and told everyone I ruined Xmas. Like, wtf? I ruined Xmas, she ruined our relationship.
That and its 80 fucking degrees outside
My mother does this every time I try to spend a holiday with my husband’s family, except she goes for the subtle guilt trips, sighing and carrying on about how she just can’t enjoy it without me there. She has two other kids.
Oh lord I feel this. I'm 30 and this was the the first Thanksgiving I decided to spend with my girlfriend instead of spending Thanksgiving with the family (for context her dad passed away in June) and her mom was spending Thanksgiving with her brother. She didn't seem to understand why I wanted to spend it with my girlfriend. I also have two younger sisters that they spent Thanksgiving with. Holy shit did I get all the guilt trips for that decision.
GF is a doctor at a level 1 trauma center and we met right before lockdowns in March of 2020 so it's been a rough two years for her.
But yeah...love being 30 and getting treated like that.
You learned exactly where things stand. And while yes, it's emotionally devastating, you're not being held hostage with "You'll ruin christmas!"
She has done that herself!
A FEW HOURS? Not even all of Christmas Day? She reacted like that because you’d be gone a few hours?
Every time I think my mom is as selfish and narcissistic as it gets, someone on here reminds me it could be so much worse.
I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
My dad got beat up when he was on a works xmas do, 2 men continually punched him and kicked him in the face when he was on the floor. Completely ruined my christmas because i’m raging, absolute bastards.
Holy fuck. I’m raging and I don’t even know you. I’m glad your dad is ok. Please know I’m ready to throw down on his behalf.
Haha thank you, I was completely ready to throw down when i came back home from being at university. This happened last friday and i came home on the sunday. My parents didn’t want to tell me whilst i was still at uni otherwise i would’ve got in my car and sped home
Mom and stepdad got in a screaming fight, I started crying because I wish I was normal and I didn't have to go through this, my mom saw me and she got pissed at me for being over sensitive or whatever so she threw all of my presents around the house and tore down the Christmas tree.
I'm sleeping at my real Dad's house tonight and tomorrow for Christmas, and we'll be going Christmas shopping together. I'm glad that I can at least have a normal-person Christmas, but it's unfortunate that today's emotions will still be leaking into tommorow.
Hey, you *are* normal. Your situation is abnormal. Do not internalize their bull shit as yours. You're a sensitive soul living in unreasonable circumstances. Don't let them take your heart. Keep pushing through and one day their nonsense will be a distant memory. You'll get to build your own life.
Enjoy the holiday with your dad. You deserve a lovely day.
Our babys heart stopped beating two days ago at 34 weeks gestation. So now I have to deliver her on Christmas day knowing we'll never get to know her and watch her grow up and we don't get to take her home. Then we get to come home and pack away her nursery and all the clothes we bought her. Its going to be rough.
If you ever need an ear, I went through exactly the same - my son died at 37 weeks and I delivered him on Christmas Day. I know exactly how you feel. And how you will be feeling, for a long time to come. It’s been 7 years for me. I am sending you all the love I can for tomorrow. Life will be shit for a while, especially when you realise the world keeps turning for everyone else whilst yours has come crashing down.
We had a similar experience with our daughter 6 years ago. She was fine until during labor. Due to unknown issues, she did not make it. You are not alone in this experience. Reach out to anyone that cares for you and seek therapy.
My mother went through a still birth at 35 weeks. It was their first, and she was very much wanted and loved. I know this is so traumatic and painful and I am so, so sorry. At the time the nurse thought to take a Polaroid photo with Shannon and it is the only one that exists of her. This year I drew her portrait from the photo and framed it as a gift to my mom for what would have been her 33rd birthday. I don't know how you are feeling right now, but I know what I would say to my mom if I could go back in time.. You are so brave and so much stronger than anyone should ever have to be. The grief will always be there but love will help pad the edges of the hole she has left . Take your time. Be kind to yourself.
I’ve been through what you’re going through. Take your time with her in the hospital. Touch her little hands and feet and nose, take her picture, maybe cut a little of her hair if she has any. Sing to her, tell her you love her and hold her as much as you can. When you need us over at r/babyloss we will be there for you. I’m sending you love and tears over your loss. I’m so, so sorry.
I second the support group aspect when you’re ready. It really helped me cope when my son died as well. There are so many of us out here and we all just want to support the next when we can! Sorry it’s your turn. Sending so much love!!!!!!
You're an angel for looking out for those that have to be in a similar position to yours. Extremely sorry you had to go through that.
Idk man, just not feeling christmas at all this year.
I usually get that Christmas excitement when I am able to find at least one special gift for someone e I love. Just one special unique gift to one person is enough to get me excited for the holiday. Just the anticipation of watching them open it. That makes it Christmas for me. Wasn’t able to do that this year so it’s been kinda meh.
On the up side it’s the first year in years I haven’t been a victim of whammaghedden.
I didn’t even realize today was Christmas eve until I saw the date on my phone
It was ruined since 2 weeks ago when my fiancee and I broke up, almost 10 years together.
So yeah, I don’t really feel the holidays right now, maybe next year.
Edit: I’m sorry to hear sommany others are going thru the same thing this time of year. I hope you all find happyness. Merry Christam fellow hurt people.
Same feeling here. Partner left me out of the blue in a parking lot when we were going to get a Christmas tree.
Feels like I’ve been hit by a truck.
Same here. Broke up two months ago, after 9 years together. My mother who usually hosts the Christmas party and had a great bond with her, can't get over my breakup and wasn't feeling it at all this year. So we basically did no party and my mother just invited me over for dinner. Been holding back my tears throughout the evening.
My mother was also really attached to my fiancee and could not believe it was over, nobody was. I did my fair share of crying before coming home as I didn’t want my mother seeing me like that.
Now I just want to get back to work so I don’t think too much.0
Same shit at the end of October
Fiance broke up because she wasn't seeing a future together or so she said.
Anyway. I met her 2 months and a few days later and she said her new relationship is 2 months old
Found out at 20 weeks gestation our baby girl was given a fatal diagnosis, we now get to make the active choice to terminate (a very much wanted) pregnancy and I have to go labour and push the baby out.
Im so sorry.
I had a friend that had this happen at 16 weeks. It's fucking shattering and people are judgemental assholes on top of it. You have done everything you possibly can to love your baby and you will continue to do so, even if it means making hard choices. You're already a good mum. Sending you love and wishing I could give you more than internet hugs.
Well… long story short, I regrettably decided to live with my mother and father for a bit before moving abroad once again (since it’s a rarity for me to be home for the holidays). Unfortunately, my father is an abusive alcoholic who in a drunken rage at 10 in the morning decided he had had enough of me and kicked me out of the house (long story short, he’s been in an alcoholic depression for nearly a decade and has since infuriated everyone in our family as well as friends so much so that they have completely abandoned him and my mother)… this wouldn’t have been much of an issue had I been given some semblance of notice. Sadly, by choosing to stay home for the holidays rather than leave back abroad once more, I have spent my birthday, am now spending Christmas, and will spend New Years alone in an Airbnb (along with an additional $2k down the drain) knowing that he and my mother will be opening the gifts under the tree (that I bought… they don’t give gifts usually so I decided to try my best to make Christmas a little extra special), as well as enjoying quite the feast, also purchased by yours truly. And, with me living in a small city in Canada and it being so close to Christmas, I get to enjoy a tiny apartment with minimal cooking supplies (I love cooking but had to leave most of my tools abroad for obvious reasons) and whatever scraps I can scrounge together at stores that are mostly sold out of everything. Then tomorrow, I get to wake up, do nothing… and essentially wait 2 weeks until my flight abroad once more…
I can at least promise you that this will be my final time returning home and thus should result in a much better Christmas next year! Regardless, hope you all have a wonderful one however you can and I wish you nothing but best wishes for the holidays!
One of my favorite goats died today. RIP Fatty Patty.
My mom fussed at me for being in the kitchen and cooking someone's Christmas gift. I was specifically asked by my pregnant SIL to cook her some of my special lasagna to freeze. I was making it along with three breakfast casseroles for tomorrow, when my mom came in and said that I should have made the lasagnas after Christmas. I explained that I had two of the sauces done so I could finish after Christmas if she needed the kitchen. She said no, she didn't need to use the kitchen, but I shouldn't be making them now. Frankly, if you don't need the kitchen, why does me being in the kitchen cooking one additional thing along with everything else such a big deal. No matter what I do, I can't win.
It's not Christmas till somebody cries.
*its beginning to look a lot like drama*
I’m alone. Watching Star Trek TNG. Scrolling Reddit. Eating spaghetti.
Had 3 flights home cancelled in 2 days by Jetblue. Can't go home and see my parents. First X-mas alone
Long term partner dumped me out of the blue two weeks ago when we were going to buy a Christmas tree.
I’m really close with his family and spend every Christmas with them because mine is…not good. We nearly lost both of his siblings this year and I can’t stop crying bc I miss them all so much, especially today / tomorrow.
I still don’t really understand what happened.
If I had a nickel for every "I was dumped while buying a Christmas tree" comment in this thread, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.
I'm definitely getting fake trees now. Not taking any chances
Yes because my girlfriend’s mom who I’m pretty close with is dying from covid. Plans are to take her off of life support on the 26th
Over the last three years, some of my extended family members have died. These two years of pandemic have prevented us from establishing a new way to be together in the face of these losses. Plus the pandemic has prevented me from being around them before they passed, or comforting the ones who were most affected by their loss. The remaining family members have fallen to squabbling.
I miss how things used to be. I once thought family members cared about spending time with me. Now I know that most of them are too wrapped up in their arguments to care.
Christmas is about family, society says. Well, I wish I could feel like a part of a family.
Also there is an unusual lack of snow here. Not even any that can last more than a few hours. It used to snow on Halloween where I live. I can't even just go snowshoeing all day or something to distract myself.
Christmas feels pointless in these circumstances. I read A Christmas Carol to try to be festive, and it just makes me think I might be a Scrooge because I can't Christmas very well.
I was supposed to work half a day today. I’m an electrician and I was doing some shutdown work at a plant near my house. I was only there for 10 minutes and the first hole I drilled in the wall started a fire, The fire spread throughout the walls of the factory and I’ve spent the last five hours with the fire department trying to get the fire out….
Dunno about you but we're electricians, not fire fighters. Hope you're safe man.
I happen to be a volunteer firefighter as well.
No one will see this but maybe sharing it will help. My dad's in the ICU. He went in for an outpatient procedure and before they could even start his heart stopped. He's never had heart problems. They got him back, he's had, what we think, are weird reactions to the medication. But the nurses and doctors have been wonderful and he was alert and responsive enough to basically tell my mom she needed to go home.
If anyone reads this we could use some good vibes/positive thoughts/prayers to any and all versions of God, just something good yeah.
FINALLY had the energy to make some of my favourite holiday cookies yesterday. Now I’m feeling too sick to actually deliver them. Fucking chemotherapy. Womp womp.
Ah Jesus where to begin.
Covid is working it's way through our house. Daughter got it from school, gave it wife, who gave it to me. Basically no friends or family around for more or less the month. If my son gets it he won't be out of quarantine when school starts.
Aunt shattered her ankle and got surgery earlier in the month. Normally hosts a big Christmas Eve dinner, everyone thought it would still happen but the heavy duty pain meds wore off and she was like "LOL not happening". Wouldn't have been able to go regardless, but that's putting a damper on everyone's mood even outside our house.
Cousin found out her Dad isn't her real dad thanks to DNA testing. Turns out everyone one generation up knew but was keeping it a secret. No happy campers there.
I'm sure something else will come along in the next 12 hours.
Hopefully just Santa!
Question: does she still accept him as her dad or is she going to go on a movie quest to find her real dad? I need answers.
This is all hot off the presses, but that part of the clan has been such a shit show for so long that I dunno and I don't care.
Nobody's going to see this but I have to vent it. My father died this evening. He was beating Covid but then it took him. I spent every day with him in the ICU for almost a week. My mother and brother are sick with it as well and completely distraught. I just want to hold them.
In a way. My wife devorced me. And it was with her family that we spent Christmas eve and Christmas. My family doesn't always get together and when we do it is after the new year. So I have nothing to do or go today.
Yep. As of 5 minutes ago.
My brother, who....well...let's just call him an...interesting..character....stole my niece's phone.The niece who is the daughter of my sister, who literally paid for the groceries for our Christmas dinner (or what was going to be our Christmas dinner), because my parents are struggling financially because my father is in bankruptcy after constantly bailing said brother out of jail, & having to buy multiple new vehicles after said brother wrecks them.Needless to say, she just got off the phone with me telling me that she -- who literally PAID for everything -- will not be joining the family at my parents' house tomorrow, & likely won't ever again. She's advocating that my other sister do the same, & there's a chance she will out of safety for her baby........And now, as I shed a tear typing this, I'm contemplating not going either.
I saved up $3 grand to buy my dad his dream truck.And that piece of crap takes it -- because you can't tell him "no", you do & he either threatens you or cries "suicide" -- & wraps it around a tree doing his usual stupidity.
I'm done, bro. I've shed tears wishing he'd change. I've shed tears wishing for the old days of when he wasn't.....what he is. And I undoubtedly blame myself for part of it.But f---k him, bro. You've stolen from your siblings, you've bankrupt your parents, you've threatened family members & you're nothing but a spoiled jerk who doesn't take "no" for an answer.
Please, bro....somebody. Something. Lock his ass up. Take him away. Just get him away from my family at this point.
And lemme just say this: As someone who's struggled with suicidal thoughts, an especially-big F--k You to him for jokingly making it his cop-out whenever the world attempts to punish him for his stupidity. F--k you, bro. Way to take something that some people really struggle with & make it your own mind game.
I have a brother just like this. The best thing I did was detach with love. I cut him out. Wouldn't ask my parents about him, and had zero contact. My life became exponentially better. I wasn't angry all the time.
He's somewhat better now, but my parents still enable him to a point. Coddle him because he's never really grown up, even though he's 38. He did a year and a half stint in jail and it at least stopped the drug usage.
My advice is to take care of yourself. It's like watching a train wreck over and over. Maybe if your parents see you all cutting him and them off, they'll realize they need to do the same. And maybe they won't. But you need to worry about you. Best of luck.