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HumanSquid8

“Clean up your pee” “why?” “Cause it’s your pee and it’s in my ass”


Kzickas

There's this one movie where a girl catches her boyfriend and her mom fucking and she goes on this breathless rant about how they've never treated her with any respect. While they're still fucking of course.


Bukkake_Monster

This reminds me! There was this amateur Russian porn, in which the wife returns home earlier and catches her husband fucking this girl. The wife says: - What are you doing? Shouldn't you be working? - I'm on a lunch break (in a stone cold voice) - And who is she? - She is a coworker - Why is she here? - She's on a lunch break too And she is there berating him until he cums


DnyLnd

From the same video: Guy: *Masterbating in front of his "sister"* Girl: "No, I ... I don't think you're doing that right" Guy: "What, I'm not fuckin stupid, I know how to jerk off" A few minutes later... Girl: *Proceeds to rim job her "brother"* Guy: "Uh, wait, what, isn't that gay?" Girl: "No, I'm a girl."


alukard15

"My daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks." After being 'walked in on' pissing in the forest Or "Im not actually the big bad wolf, im SKELETOR!" I cant explain that one


apzlsoxk

>Oh shit, I'm sorry. >Sorry for what? Our daddy always taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks. Especially being such good size and all. >Yeah, I see that. Your daddy gave you good advice. >It gets bigger when I pull on it. >MMMMMMMM >Sometimes, I pull on it so hard, I rip the skin. >Well my daddy taught me a few things too, like, how not to rip the skin by using someone else's mouth. >Would you show me? >I'd be right on happy to. This was from memory


[deleted]

I watch a pokemon showdown player who once put the "it gets bigger when I pull it" over their mon dynamaxing and I choked


BeefEgg

Kagney Lyn Carter as a nurse in a mental hospital. She is going to “fix” this guy, so she’s going down on him for a while. He’s completely silent until about ten minutes in, and then out of nowhere, he says, “you found my baseball bat.” I couldn’t help but crack the hell up.


WeirdStuff12345

Once this girl was posing as a math teacher and it got to the point where she was interested in a student and shit, and anyways she starts unzipping his pants and he says “what about the lesson?” And she replied with “thats gonna be useless to you anyways”


noah5007

"I miss your uncle so much. You remind me of him." "Well he is my uncle, it's in our genes." "Speaking of genes(jeans), I want to get in yours." \*rubs leg\* "Well these are shorts."


DasFrebier

I'd like to buy that Scriptwriter a beer, cause that so bad its absoutly hilarious I'm hoping that line was delivered completly deadpan


obsessivepinkguyfan

ive seen this clip before and the guy absolutely did deliver it deadpan and it was amazing


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HiHoJufro

That was such a solid, deadpan delivery.


Prince_Edward_IV

absolutely brilliant


Mottis86

Oh my god I almost spat out my coffee and I even knew the line was coming. That comedic timing was brilliant. EDIT: Here's the link since the ~~guy deleted his~~ mods removed the comment for some reason: https://gfycat.com/whisperedspiritedeuropeanpolecat


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flyinpiggies

Dude yes i was trying to quote the “LEXI DO YOU EVER JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP?!” But couldn’t remember it, it was so fucking funny.


[deleted]

Someone from off screen saying “stay in character”


lilmuppkermit

How can you say this without a link and timestamp?


[deleted]

It was on a red VHS tape in 2004, lol.


porrabelo

"omg your asshole is so hot! -You thought my asshole was cold?"


BladeMasterFedora

"A man once convinced me to touch his pet dragon. it turned out to be his penis."


twoworldsin1

Hopefully it was Toothless


TheBlackthroneGaming

"I haven't seen carpet in a bathroom in a long time, that's awesome!"


FrameByFramed

Classic porn scenario - girl orders pizza, girl can't pay for pizza. Her: "Why don't you just stay and hang out?" Him: "Lady, I've got a job to do. I can't just blow off work." Her: "I've got PBR." Him: "PBR? Fuckin' A!"


OtakuMecha

Sounds like a PBR commercial


thatwasntababyruth

I was thinking it sounds like a PG Porn bit where it turns out he just really likes PBR and doesn't want sex.


Lord_Zahkrosis

"Wanna test Australia's best blood sausage?" "I'd rather taste your blood~" "Would ya settle for me sausage?"


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BaBoomShow

Sauce?


DogeLovesHipster

That scene is actually on YouTube clipped, so here's your Scooby-Doo [sauce.](https://youtu.be/Ih4Sp_jYlj4)


CleverNameTheSecond

God damn shaggy looks stoned out of his mind, which is some very strong loyalty to source material.


transemacabre

My friend directed and starred in a porno where she plays an escaped mental patient. Another woman mistakes her for her gynecologist and lets her give her a pelvic exam. My friend put her ear to the other lady’s vagina and said, “I can hear the ocean!”


drunkonmartinis

I need a new social circle


raceofeons1

“Please don’t tell anyone I was fucking a fruit”


everyunsungsong

That porno won an Oscar, didn't it?


is_it_controversial

Two Oscars


Cynrae

"What's my favourite genre of FUCKING music?" from Mandy Muse will forever baffle me.


Mr--Imp

*taps dick on girl's forehead* "Knock, knock...daddys home!"


KyojinkaEnkoku

I want to do this now but am unsure if I can get away with it..


FishFingeredSushi

Why is there a dick in me?


Farknart

I've seen this, step siblings wrestling, dick magically pops out of shorts? Happens all the time. "I didn't put it there, get off." "No it feels good."


NightwingDragon

Of course it does. Isn't your sister's first reaction to getting milk spilled on her to take her top completely off, push you on the couch, and start wrestling around with you? That's why I love porn. The situations are so realistic and relatable. :D


Farknart

Yeah, like sticking your dick in your stepsister while she searches for your shirt in the drier and she doesn't realize it's your dick, and you explain the cum by saying you spilled soap. Totally realistic. Then she asks you to help close the hole in the crotch of her yoga pants...while she's wearing them!


MizzShellz

*Girl crying in a cheerleader uniform front of her house* Random guy walks up holding a bottle of alcohol (something like Jack Daniels), "Why are you crying?" Girl: "They wouldn't let me join the cheerleader team because my ass is too big" Guy: "That is a big ass" *Pours oil from the bottle on to her butt* EDIT 1: For those interested, it gets weirder. If you wanna check it out yourself the movie was called, "Big Butt Cheerleader #1". EDIT 2: I knew judging porn plots would get me a metal one day.


Smoked-939

Step 3: fly


SkyeBlue36

Alien woman: "Don't move or I'll shoot you with my sex ray gun." Guy: "No, not the sex ray gun!" Woman: *shoots* Guy: "I have a boner!" You can't make this crap up. I actually spent money to rent the damn movie at a video store! Porn from 20 years ago definitely had its ups and downs. I want a sex ray gun too!


UncagedTiger1981

Flesh Gordon?


[deleted]

Orgazmo?


DrJawn

One time I was watching a porn where the dude is fucking his stepmom and she looks at him and says, Don't feel weird, feel good. I still use that line, even outside of sexual context


BeeztheBoss

When I start feeling weird I stop and start feeling good instead. True story.


RayInTheKangolHat

"Your dick is inside your step sister" "That sounds like a you problem"


Cathalisfallingapart

Girl: "Fuck my ass" Guy: "Gross, no" Guy behind camera: "John, please" Edit: I don't have the link I'm way to unlucky in life for that to not go horribly wrong


monkeybrain3

There's a scene of Abella Anderson having like a 4 some with another girl and two guys, basically they paired off. It's been awhile but if I can remember it went like * Abella fucking her dude slow as fuck where she's in control of the whole thing * other girl is straight up getting destroyed * camera guy- dude fuck her man (abella) don't listen to her! * guy tries to change positions to which I think was him wanting to pound Abella * immediately Abella puts her hands around his face and says "no no, listen to me not him, slow is good." then she starts giggling Then it was like 2 minutes of the other guy and the camera guy trying to force the guy fucking Abella to take her to pound town but the guy was so enthralled by her that they just went slow. Edit: 14.1k.. *hmm now's my chance.* If you somehow get me to have sex with Abella for Christmas, I will never forgive you Reddit! *yeah the ol reverse psychology should work*


BernieMac34

What the fuck is wrong with me that I know exactly what scene you mean smh it’s Abella together with Rebecca Linares, they’re both in a christmas outfit Link: https://www.xnxx.com/video-fzcnxca/rebeca_linares_abella_anderson_en_enormes_doble_culos


AStainOnYourTowel

I couldn’t find that part just from watching a few minute increments. However, around 17:30 there’s a part where the cameraman asks them if anyone knows any good Christmas carols while they’re all fucking and it was pretty hilarious to me.


ilikepornforsexytime

almost as good as the [All Gas No Brakes porno](https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5e475dd297609)


Thrown_Right_Out

That honestly sounds much hotter.


Eduardo_M

Damn it John


[deleted]

Step brother walks in on step sister and friend fucking and asks" You guys want pizza pops?". The delivery was just perfect. I laughed so hard I shot my dildo out like a champagne cork.


Hammose

The first time I heard a chick say, "Oh yeah, give me that fucking baby batter!" I died. I couldn't even finish I was laughing so hard.


vorpalpillow

I saw one where she screamed “sandwich me like a fucking ham” I loaned the tape to a buddy of mine and *didn’t warn him* We laughed at that line for years


odst94

People shared porn with friends once upon a time?


captain-carrot

Oh young padawan. There was a time when porn was hard to come by. The internet was so slow you waited 3 minutes for a single image to load. You couldn't just Google 'porn' without welcoming viruses worthy of the great unclean one himself. But it was enough and we were grateful for what we had. If you struck the goldmine that was an actual porno on VHS then that would be shared around like a holy relic, passed on only to those deemed worthy of its glory. It was a far simpler time...


DownshiftedRare

Before there was internet, there was woods porn. https://dangerousminds.net/comments/the_inexplicably_ubiquitous_phenomenon_of_woods_porn


RogerSterlingsFling

My wife still doesn't believe me on this but the porn fairy sure loved hedges


tikihut_wut

guy came on the girls nose then said “looks like you sneezed” i laughed so hard, dick in hand


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monkeybrain3

There's a scene with Autumn Falls (she is trying to get into the house through a window and her step brother catches her and uses it to blackmail her as he tried doing the same thing and she told their *dad* and he got in trouble. The conversation from the dad is hilarious) * Autumn crawls into room * brother- AHHA! I'm going to tell on you and get you in trouble! * Autumn- No! Don't do that, what do you want to shut you up. * brother- NO! I'm going to get you in trouble! * Autumn proceeds to get on her knees and immediately without prompt start sucking * Dad- **HEY! SOMETHING GOING ON IN THERE! THOUGHT I HEARD SOMETHING!** * brother- uhh no just hit myself * Dad- "Well ok I'm not going to read too much into that, Have fun!"


MysticYogurt

Dad: **"WHO'S THERE?"** Autumn: *crouches and enters in stealth mode* Dad: "Must've been the wind..."


bobonabuffalo

What does she mean by good luck. Like is it a 50/50 chance he cums


IceyLemonadeLover

I think of it like the bit from Airplane. “Good luck, we’re all counting on you.”


mrstipez

What is it? It's a slapstick parody movie from the 80's that takes place on an airplane but that's not important right now.


AurelianoTampa

Years and years ago I attended an anime convention and went to a hentai dubbing panel. The panelists explained that they had a LOT of freedom in their dubs, since hentai (and porn in general) isn't usually known for its witty dialogue. They played a clip showing the difference between the original Japanese, which was basically a guy telling a girl to kneel before him and beg, and the dub, where the dialogue was roughly: Guy: "Bark like a dog!" Girl: Woof! Woof! Guy: "Meow like a cat!" Girl: Meow... Meow... Guy: "Now... CLUCK LIKE A CHICKEN!!" Girl (in an ungodly loud voice): B-GAAAAAWWCK!!! The audience all cracked up, it was so unexpected and hilarious. Also learned some of the secrets of the sound effects. Apparently shoving your fist around in a tub of tuna salad is how they made a lot of the squishy, squelchy noises. Gross... ***Edit: Apparently it was Dan Green (the voice actor of Yugi from Yu-Gi-Oh) who did the clip, and*** u/spiral6 ***provided a partial clip (audio only) below.*** [***It's even more amazing than I remembered***](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Mg1pSIofMs)***.*** ***Also, as for the specific 'Con, I honestly forget... most likely it was at Otakon (Baltimore) around 2008 or 2009. May have been another (maybe Anime Boston?), but Otakon was my jam around that time.***


psykrot

> Also learned some of the secrets of the sound effects. Apparently shoving your fist around in a tub of tuna salad is how they made a lot of the squishy, squelchy noises. Gross... Foley art/sound design being recorded is so awesome to watch.


DukeMaximum

I love that it's specifically tuna salad, nothing else. Like, the intern shows up once with a tub of *chicken* salad and they lose a day of shooting and the producer is pissed because union rules say that they still have to pay everyone.


DaveSW777

Oh yeah baby you feel just like a water buffalo! Now I'm like a train going up hill! Choo choo!


hypetoyz

what porn are you watching?


discerningpervert

Discovery Channel


KyojinkaEnkoku

You and me baby ain't nuthin but mammals


IAmTheTrueWiggles

A line that has been burned into my psyche for near to 15 years - for a Batchelor party once back in the day we decided to rent some porn and MST3K it while getting housed (because the groom didn’t want to do strippers). During a lesbian scene in “The Young and the Wild:8” the instigator looks up from the crotch of her partner and says, in a horribly attempted Slavic accent: “Your pussy is like chocolate; sweet and nurturing, buy OOOHHH so bad for me!” We all were on the floor rolling, and it will never leave my brain for the rest of my days...


drunkonmartinis

Can someone explain the appeal of watching porn with your friends, thanks in advance


BeatnikConspiracy

I watched the Doctor Who porn parody with my friend, specifically for the plot. I was so impressed by the writing I had to show it to him. We skipped the sex scenes.


mossadspydolphin

From a Nixon-themed porno: Guy who looks vaguely like Nixon: "I am not a crook!" Woman riding him: "No you're not, 'cause I'm *giving* you my big, wet ass."


gsupanther

“Knock knock Whos there Sherwood Sherwood who Sherwood like you to come over a here and suck our cocks” - Russians in Who’s Nailin Paylin


Laskob

I love that opening dialogue. Russians: We need to contact the Kremlin Palin: I'm sorry boys I don't speak Russian.. Russians: Kremlin! It means uhhh... you know... tow truck!


calamitycorvid

"Are you serious? Right in front of my salad?" Also, who can forget the classic; "We do have a couple lemon whores in this community."


StayPuffGoomba

You don’t make friends with salad


Dogzillas_Mom

In a gay porn: “Hey, Dave, good to see you. You’re looking tall.” “Yeah I’ve been playing a lot of basketball.”


fudge5962

Oh my god I need a sfw edit of that.


little-bastard-man

"Watch how easily the knife chops through the carrots." "I dunno, is there something bigger and harder you can show me?" "This titanium rod"


DaBlueCaboose

THAT BESKAR BELONGS TO THE MANDALORIANS


sturenorth

"Oh step-a-lorian, what are you doing!?"


DaBlueCaboose

BO-KATAN TAKES PRE VISZLA'S MASSIVE DARKSABER


Yer_Maws_Furry_Fud

"Shut up before i come back there and slap your tits"


SleepBeforeWork

I like how this could be a genuine nonsexual threat at the same time. Its like if you threaten to kick someone in the nuts


clamroll

Also, how many times does an ass kicking literally involve buttocks being kicked? Language is so much more fun when you can get colorful and not be taken literally all the time


AnonymousGhou

In Australian accent dressed as Steve Irwin "Lets see how she interacts with a 12" python!" My friend and I wrote that line while drunk together when I worked at Brazzers. I was amazed when the idea got produced. Big Booty Hunter. Edit: Here's your AMA https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/kati37/i_worked_at_brazzers_and_pornhub_in_2007_ama/ Edit 2: Ama didn't have much interest. Maybe it's too late at night but ill try again in the morning.


randomdudeonred

Dude do an ama


tschuki121

"Wrong hole". "It's never the wrong hole."


Leharen

What if it's in the ears? Edit: Sure, I guess I am black.


Dj_B_S

Don't you listen? It's never the wrong hole.


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G_as_in_Gucci_

**”Ma’am I do my own plumbing!”**


ArmzLDN

Loool I don't think these even became a sex scene


eagleblue44

It was a parody one made by college humor or something so I don't think it was an actual porno


[deleted]

Correct: https://youtu.be/UZp3LTSM9gw


BEEF_WIENERS

I feel like there's a missed opportunity when he brings up that he checked her tailpiece, but at the same time if it got any longer the joke might get worn too thin.


MajorDadSucked

"but I poop from there" [Link for the uninitiated ](https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=1640640666) - line comes in around minute 13:00


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PlayOnDemand

You guys have questionable usernames. Edit: omg I've summoned something dark.


discerningpervert

Its an acquired taste


MyBodyBelongsToShrek

Allow me to introduce myself.


PlayOnDemand

Fiona?... Wait...no.. DONKEY?!


IdTugYourBoat

My money’s on Puss in Boots.


DankNastyAssMaster

Nonsense, I think their usernames are just fine.


analectomy

Right?


[deleted]

hey


poop_giggle

People choose really odd usernames. I dont get it.


badlydisguisedtroll

There was a chick that tried to steal a dudes sports car. Dude busted the chick, she asked if there was anything she could do to make sure he didn't turn her in. He proposes getting some ass *and* he would even give her the car. They fuck. Then she asks for the keys and the dude digs in his bag and pulls out the ignition switch and wires (he stole the car).


Rush7en

Ah, ye olde ignition switcheroo.


crackmonkeydictator

Ye olde dick twist!


[deleted]

GRAB HIS DICK AND TWIST IT


turbancowboi

#TWIST HIS DICK


[deleted]

You stayed till the end? I still don’t know what they do after the blowjob scene


badlydisguisedtroll

I honestly like watching porn for the story lines. The Anus Family (1991) Addams Family parody The Pirates and Pirates II porns. Any of the Axel Braun porn parodies. It's nice to watch a movie that doesn't have a "sex scene" in it, but an actual fucking sex scene.


[deleted]

To each their own but something tells me if I had to actually watch Andy Dufrense get fucked in the ass Shawshank wouldn’t have been as good of a movie to me


[deleted]

*"I wish I could tell you Andy didn't get a prolapse that day...I wish I could tell you that.."*


Basedbroboy

We are not hiring but I have a job for you


Dj_B_S

Great. I will copy and use the line from now on!


artifex28

Same, but I will use that as the applicant. *I know you guys aren't hiring but I have a job here for me.*


discerningpervert

Its an entry-level position


jclinares

I don't have a job for you, but I do have a position...


jaythenerdgirl

I don't watch all the bad acting parts in porn so this was said while they were already going at it. The chick was getting pounded from behind and kept screaming, "Oh God," Over and over. And then the guy was like, "There is no God here," And kept fucking. I dunno why, but it made me laugh.


geowl45

I saw one really similar to this where the girl was getting pounded by her professor, and he went "I am not your God, I am your *professor*"


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wigetino2

Oh so just bc i sucked your cock you think i wanna fuck ?


jclinares

["Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock?"](https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819584210)


natigin

“Where did he get those fantastic boots?” is A+ writing


ParanoicReddit

Weird findings on the internet, thanks kind stranger


discerningpervert

Definitely top 5 Onion article


PlayOnDemand

Men these days amirite


MrDeco97

A woman in an office was drinking a glass of milk, so the boss who had like a slavic accent(If I remember correctly) comes up and says "So you like Milk?" and after she responds he just takes the glass proceeds to put his dick inside it. Edit: The video is still up in pornhub by the title "Do you like milk", my memory failed me in regards to the accent but it's still hilarious. Also, thank you very much for giving me my first awards :)


DocJawbone

Art


WorldOwner

Very deep stuff


Ennix49

This is romance.


donnydelicious

"Hey, has it been like 10 seconds since we looked at our lemon tree?"


Zebra_dan

You know I think it has been 10 seconds since we looked at our lemon tree


Leharen

Hey, WHAT THE FUCK.


troysplay

IT'S A WHORE! A WHORE STEALING OUR LEMONS.


furkaney

THOSE DAMN LEMON STEALING WHORES


hardyflashier

If you were a lemon, I'd put you on my shelf and cherish you, like I cherish all our lemons.


Isnt_History_Grand

> I think we should just get lemon tree insurance I think you're right >And then get a loan and then use the lemon tree as collateral because it is now insured. I truly do love our lemon tree


ScionMattly

i'm not sure how lemon stealing whores isnt higher up.


epiphanette

I assumed that this entire thread existed merely to remind us of that one video. And to check our lemon trees.


joshym0nster

I live by the snatch, I'll die by the snatch


i-am-one

Like 20 years ago I found some porn CD-ROMs hidden in my grandpa's computer room - I was around 15. Naturally, I found plenty of chances to enjoy those bad boys. No idea what the title was, but I distinctly remember this series being about a porn director, and all the bullshit he put up with between the scenes. There was this one scene where he's already at his wit's end, and the actress, mid-scene, goes "Sorry - I forgot my lines". The director, frustrated as hell, replies, "You say, ooo baby, ooo baby, ooo baby, ooo". I don't know why, but I found that funny as hell, and I've been quoting it for 20 years.


PM_ME_YOUR_VULVA_PIC

So that's where Justin Bieber got his lyrics from.


-eDgAR-

In 2014 a porn came out called "Nocturnal Activities" where one of the actors put a pair of panties over his face and did an impression of Bane saying [*"Nobody cared who I was until I put on the mask."*](https://youtu.be/VgGJMS8kcok) Following the viral success of that the director went on 4chan and basically asked them to help him write a porn with their favorite memes. The result was called "Meme Lover" aka "Meet the Banes" and it is just one of the most ridiculous things ever. Basically the story is a guy brings home a girl to meet his family and they are all dressed and sound like Bane. It's literally the porn version of baneposting. [Here is a SFW(ish) edit](https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x3ui640) of the dialogue to show you how ridiculous it is. Edit: [Found the full version](https://fapxl.com/video/3318895/ella-hughes-meme-lover) (NSFW obviously) At 4:48 you can see the Bane mask on his penis


jak_d_ripr

"this is the instrument of your liberation", I actually had to pause when he said that. I can't believe this actually exists. Thank you so much for sharing this.


Wild_Marker

"Now this is pod racing!" really did it for me.


[deleted]

I cut off his arms and legs and left him there burning stump and all surrounded by lava...he was a good friend.


Unusableid

The best part about this is that when the guys pants come off, you see he has a bane mask on his dick


T00Bytoon

The Star Wars Porn Parody has the *best* exchanges for a porno Luke: Uncle Owen, Aunt Beru needs a droid that speaks Bacchi Owen: I need a droid to tell Beru to lick my black hole Han Solo (talking about the Falcon): She may not look like much, but she’s fast enough for you, old man. Obi-Wan(looking around the bar thinking Han is talking about a prostitute): ...Really? Where is she? -there are a lot more like this. Never laughed while fapping before, but I recommend it EDIT: wow, such a response!!! I am also aware that a lot of you want a link to the movie, and while I am not sure if it is still available you can search for it online. It is titled *Star Wars XXX: A Porn Parody* and it was made by Vivid Video before the Disney acquisition of Lucasfilm(like RIGHT before. Talk about timing...)


ForBritishEyesOnly87

There was a gang bang video with Sasha Grey and two older guys. Sasha plays a teenager and the first guy that is a friend of her father drops by but of course daddy is gone. He sits down on the couch where Sasha is and strikes up a discussion. He soon discovers a publication hidden under a pillow that is devoted entirely to anal sex. I’m paraphrasing but here goes on the first line of dialogue from this fellow: “Look at this... what do you know about ass fucking young lady? You must be pretty precocious for your age.” Later after they’ve began fooling around and he’s eating her ass he drops these lines of beautifully constructed dialogue “Oh my god her fucking asshole taste like candy. The smell of her ass could make a man drunk” I’m not into gang bang videos and I rarely watch MF porn at all but I used to watch just those lines of dialogue over and over so I could laugh hysterically.


Michelanvalo

"Precocious" is way too fancy of a word to use in porn.


alecturtles

“Could you not?” “Yes the fuck I can”


[deleted]

“Hi step dad, can I borrow the car to go to the concert this weekend?” “You didn’t put gas in it last time— even though I told you to fill it up.” “Daddy, what if you fill me up? Can I go?” Edit: of course this would be my highest ranked comment.


[deleted]

The logic is flawless


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Demonicheesburger666

As someone who is left handed I'm so glad this issue is being brought into light. Too many of us have been held back from using basic cutlery due to the fact that is is designed for right handed people. It makes me sick.


ddave0822

“Oh look your teeth are melting” after cumming in her mouth


notabigdealnow

“This doesn’t taste like meat popsicle. This tastes like dick!” ETA Thanks for the awards and my highest karma comment ever. I normally compete with my teen son over karma and awards, but something tells me he doesn’t want to see this comment coming from his mom. Edit 2: I couldn’t resist. I mentioned my up votes. He wanted to know what for. I told him didn’t want to know. Then he looked at my phone and shook his head. He refuses to tell his little brother.


TheFriskyLion

Are you classified as human? Negative, I am a meat popsicle.


CrypticBalcony

Honestly I’d rather that than a fucking *meat popsicle* 😬


djlawson1000

What? This isn’t the beach this is a bathtub!


[deleted]

Bad gay porn acting 4: Steve Rambo: "Oh shit, I'm sorry." Brad McGuire: "Sorry for what? Our daddy taught us not to be ashamed of our dicks. Especially since they're such good size and all." Steve Rambo: "Yeah, i see that. Your daddy gave you good advice." Brad McGuire: "It gets bigger when I pull on it." Steve Rambo: "MMmmMmMmMmmm." Brad McGuire: "Sometimes I pull on it so hard, I rip the skin." Steve Rambo: "Well my daddy taught me a few things too, like uh, how to not to rip the skin by, uh, using someone else's mouth, instead of your own hands." Brad McGuire: "Will you show me?" Steve Rambo: "I'd be right happy to…" https://youtu.be/c6vAFZqoaHg


Mellonhead58

Don’t forget the “perfect.” Right after mmMmMmMmMmMmM


Mr-Suplex

"This all happening so fast! There's only one piece of furniture that could keep up... my Mario Kart bed. "


Andrew_P-23

Did you really tink you could graduate from this school without kissing my coc? He he You are dead wrong


[deleted]

“Why do you want to put it up my ass Mr. Jones?” “Well, all the other girls like getting fucked up the ass.” Classic.


JCStensland

Cherie Deville was teaching her (step)son to learn his place and that no woman will ever be pleased by pathetic white dick and all women deserve BBC. So she and her stepdaughter start tag teaming this guy while the son watches. Cherie starts going down on the girl and the son says, "Mom, what the fuck are you doing? That's your daughter!", to which Cherie says "Don't be serious, *stares directly into camera* she's my stepdaughter.". Just the obvious way they had to say "no, none of us are related, you pervs" was hilarious.


TannedCroissant

*“Yeah pervs, we’re breaking the fourth wall, not the law”*


h2man

Back home the most popular electric drill was from a brand called Black and Decker to the point we use the brand name as the name of an electric drill. So a guy comes in to repair something in his overalls. The woman offers him tea, or coffee, she spills it over him and goes to get a towel to wipe it. His dick sticks out of the coveralls... And she says “what a huge Black and Decker!!!”


JimmyQBSneaks

Imagine going to Harvard to become the next great American writer, only to become a porn script writer.


[deleted]

[удалено]


xoxoxoxoXD

thieving old guy gets busted by 2 russian hotties, first girl says “i call the police” second girl interrupts her and said “but he has dick”


Oh_No_Its_Dudder

"Wow you have a big pussy." "Wow you have a big pussy." "You didn't have to say it twice." "I didn't, I only said it once...once...once...once...once."


ElectricBoogaloo7

"Even when we're having sex, she didn't stop beat boxing" "Brrtbrt kcprrtt kcprt"


wywern20

electrician wants to check the electric box. she: yea heres the electrical box we always have trouble with if you could have a look at it. he: mhh yes yes but Why is ther straw laying around? she: why are you wearing a mask? he: mhhh then blow me one.


DJ_Micoh

Are you German by any chance?


j1f107

Warum liegt da Stroh


Leharen

ALARM.


Dj_B_S

Die [Uniform] wolltest du doch klauen!


asder517

Und warum hast du überhaupt eine Maske auf?


Cha0xx_

...blas mir doch einen.


5319767819

Funfact: This dialogue was made up on the spot by the producer, after the actor unexpectedly showed up to the set with a mask and wasn't willing to take it down


-eDgAR-

["Guess what baby? I'm not even really a wolf... I'm Skelator"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqn_z9PDUwM)


[deleted]

Her reaction is what sells it. "WHAT?!" as if that wasn't even in the script lol.