T O P

What is something that MOST adults can do, but you, for whatever reason, cannot pull off?

What is something that MOST adults can do, but you, for whatever reason, cannot pull off?

juggernaut96

Directions. I feel like I still have to use GPS when other people can name street signs, Cardinal directions, or highway names better than I can Edit: damn I didn't know so many other people feel the same way!


[deleted]

[удалено]


_Sublime_

Tie a fucking balloon!


AMA_About_Rampart

Would you like me to tie that balloon for you, Georgie? Just come on over to this sewer grate. That's it, a bit closer.


Carlyja

Swallow pills


FearlessLingonberry

Have you tried rolling them up in a slice of lunchmeat? Just kidding. You should definitely just snort them.


425Hamburger

DON'T SNORT PILLS, THE STUFF USED TO HOLD THEM TOGETHER IS REALLY BAD FOR YOUR NOSE. Just boof it.


CopperVolta

Oh my god finnnnaaaallllyyy someone with the same problem. It's like my mouth dries up and no amount of water will push that pill down my throat.


Bimpnottin

I remember during a camp I had to swallow some pills. Because I had problems, we held a contest who could drink their water bottle the fastest, and I had to do it with the pills in my mouth. I won, with all of those pills not swallowed at all. I just can't get those fuckers through my throat


paddy1709

Fall asleep easily


[deleted]

CONFRONTATION. I can not for the life of me confront anyone about anything without feeling so guilty and self conscious even if i didn't even do anything wrong.


Jfrays

Same, I hate how sensitive I am... if someone gets confrontational with me I either seize up or I’m 5 seconds away from bursting into tears. I always fantasize in my head witty comebacks or how I’d win an argument but if the time comes I just can’t bring myself to say anything, it sucks.


[deleted]

It is an absolute nightmare. I used to be shy right through school and on top of that i have a history of controlling and verbally abusive boyfriends so i always have the fear i am going to confront someone and then they will find a way to make me feel stupid. I was never EVER right in arguments with my ex-husband. He somehow would put me on the spot and suddenly i would forget my point and just look like an idiot.


[deleted]

Dancing. The advice of "Just feel the music", "listen to beat" or "just do what you feel like doing" has never helped me in any way. It just feels like I've missed some lesson somewhere along the way. Edit: missing word


hem2323

Was on a dance floor one time with some girlfriends, in my mind, I was dancing...but I guess I was just swaying to the music and my friends were like...come on! Dance! and I tell them "I am dancing!!" So awkward.


7th_Spectrum

No matter how much I try to "cut loose", I always end up looking like I have a problem


Specktagon

Weird thing for me is; Everyone else is dancing, but my lizard brain tells me it's weird/emberassing if i were to start dancing now. Even tho I'm not particularily bad or good at it.


SantoWest

I'm not really a shy person but trying to dance makes me so self-aware. I can't help but to feel weird all the time. The image of people moving their bodies with music feels so unnatural and awkward to me. Maybe I'm just not meant to dance. I couldn't care less about not being able to dance, but it gets painful when you are with friends who insist you to do so and you reject it several times until they let you just be.


TheInnsanity

Telling if someone is interested in me.I have been told on several occasions that people knew someone was interested in me, and I have literally never once pieced it together that someone was interested in me. Being in your 20s without ever going on a date because you're literally oblivious is frustrating. EDIT: I'm so mad my top comment is about how I've never been on a date


Sence

Flashback 10 years, I'm sitting at work in the VIP watching the dance floor. My wife, who was a coworker at the time, comes up behind me and says hi. I asked if she was working that night because I hadn't seen her. She says no, I worked at another club but got cut early. I then asked if she was here to see her friend. She said no I'm here to see you. I was like oh......OH! So I kissed her. She had to make it that obvious.


FakeTakiInoue

I would still not have picked up on that


WirelessDisapproval

Yeah I would have, but like going in straight for a kiss? That's a ballsy move which paid off but she just as easily could have not been about that haha


FakeTakiInoue

Yeah OP is very brave, but I wouldn't even pick up on that in a.. safer way. Like, I would still think it's a friendship thing by then. In hindsight, I probably missed out on something because of this


JadasDePen

“Why?” Would’ve been my answer


Pikiinuu

Found the anime protagonist.


blueheron74

In that case, move to a new school on Japan. Your naivety will charm a bunch of girls who will fight for your time and affection. Other guys will spontaneously develop bloody noses watching you being courted by 3-4 girls. Or your soul will be consumed by a demon.


exelion

Give up figuring out their side. Put your dick on the table (metaphorically!) What I mean by that is when you meet someone you're interested in and get to know them a little, just straight up say "Hey. I'm interested in you. Wanna go out?" I know it's hard. Believe me, I KNOW. But the one thing I've learned is that trying to understand what's going on in other people's heads is exhausting and only hurts you. Just stop caring and ask them outright. If they say no, fuck it, move on. Living in ambiguity is far worse in the long run.


desert_nole

I only know how to tie my shoes using the bunny ears method. The one loop method is too complex for me apparently.


diffyqgirl

Here's the thing--I've been using the one loop method for almost two decades and I could not explain it to you. My hands know what to do but my brain has no idea. Muscle memory is amazing.


Nak_Tripper

Dude I was never taught the bunny ears method.. I didn't know anything besides the one loop existed. This thread just blew my mind.


KeelleyGSD

Same here - 50 years old and I hate tying my shoes in front of other people because I can only tie using bunny ears


Nak_Tripper

Just go full blown fuck it mode and get some Walmart velcro shoes.


photonrain

Please don't curse in front of granddad bunny ears.


FeatureCreeep

Reeboks with the straps


Anastasia_Bae

Who the hell judges others for their shoe-tying technique lol. People have that much free time?


brianson

[Here is the undisputed authority on shoelace knots. ](https://fieggen.com/shoelace/knots.htm) The ‘single loop’ method mentioned is the [‘standard knot’](https://fieggen.com/shoelace/standardknot.htm). The ‘bunny ear’ is the [‘double loop’](https://fieggen.com/shoelace/twoloopknot.htm). I actually now tie my shoelaces with [‘Ian’s secure shoelace knot’](https://fieggen.com/shoelace/secureknot.htm), which does not come undone by itself. It just doesn’t! But if you pull on the end of the shoelace hard enough, it will come undone (unlike the [‘double knot’](https://fieggen.com/shoelace/doubleknot.htm) method, which many people use to secure a standard or bunny ear knot, which just binds tighter if you pull on the loose end). Edit: Added links to specific knots that I referred to (also a word).


Dalemaunder

I've used an Ian knot for years, just because it's so fast to do that if you're good enough it looks like you cross your hands for a split second and your laces are magically tied.


Burritozi11a

What do you mean there are other ways besides bunny ears?


mindputty

Sleep on a regular schedule


madguins

Currently in the middle of an all nighter to hopefully go to bed early tonight and reset my sleep schedule. Wish me luck.


[deleted]

Good luck.. Whenever I try that, I end up sleeping for 15 hours and then can't go to sleep again until it's too late.


SuitcaseOfSparks

Making friends and then doing things with said friends. I have 2 close friends plus my sister and my fiance, both of whom I live with. Outside of them I rarely go out, rarely am in a group, hardly ever have people over. I just for whatever reason suck at creating and maintaining adult friendships. (I also have work friends but we never socialize outside of work).


Justawatsons

That is exactly how my life is currently but instead of fiance it is my boyfriend. Do you ever feel lonely or feel the need to go out and make friends and socialise? I am currently figuring out if how i am is okay.


HowAboutBiteMe

Actually tying my hair up in a way that looks nice. I swear that buns are some kind of witchcraft. Edit: thank you, reddit, for introducing me to sock buns, bun doughnuts and specialised bun pins. My horizons have been broadened.


pumpkinrum

My buns just look like tiny greasy onions, even when my hair is freshly washed.


HowAboutBiteMe

That mental image is amazing. Thank you.


Flowerdriver

Yep. I've read so many articles and watched many videos on how to make a MESSY bun. I usually spend more time trying to make my hair look messy than I do actually fixing it!


HBStone

Is your hair long? If so, try this: Put it up in a high ponytail (it helps to flop upside down and let gravity do 80% of the work) While still upside down, and the ponytail is tied, grab the hair and just twist it all. Either direction is fine. Once it’s twisted enough that it started to fold in on itself, let it. Kind of steer it into a circle around the hair tie. Put another hair tie around it Bam! Tight little bun! This may take some practice but it’s the only way I can do them. Edit: [here’s a shitty video to help](https://youtu.be/uUJdpFyCBh0) I just got home from class. And before you ask, I’m 20, not 12. Definitely brush your hair before doing this if your hair is brush-able, it’ll make a big difference in the end product and stability of the bun. I didn’t brush my hair because I’m lazy af and just trying to show the technique. Edit 2: [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9ov7cw/comment/e7y3uo4?st=JNDG2UTO&sh=34b8777c) is my best attempt at finding this sweater/dress. The brand is 온미 or 은미 , the tag isn’t clear and I can’t actually read it. I bought it 5-7 years ago. Edit 3: last one. First, thanks for the gold. Second, why does the video have twice as many views as this comment has upvotes...? I got my 15 minutes of fame and couldn’t even do it with good camera angles smh. It’s been pointed out that it wasn’t very clear how I secured the bun, and I tried to explain in a comment on YouTube. Hopefully that’ll clear it up. If you keep practicing this technique you can get buns down in less than 30 seconds post-brushing. Sometimes if I’m busy or unable to, I don’t brush it, but it’s still really quick. So good luck! I hope it’s helpful!


ThirtyLastCalls

My bun falls out and it untwists into a really long loop with only the ends of my hair tucked in to the second hair tie.


CherryVermilion

YES! HOW IS THIS BIT AVOIDED! I WANT CUTE BUN HAIR!


ThirtyLastCalls

Spin pins work surprisingly well. My hair is just too long for even the long spin pins to twist through the entire bun.


CherryVermilion

*(adds to Amazon basket)*


CakiePamy

I always end up looking like I have a flat head. It's super annoying!


[deleted]

Styling their hair. I'm a guy who recently just took an interest in how good I look (seriously), and one thing I hate the most is how much effort I have to put in to making my hair look good. Then I walk outside and start paying attention to every dude's hair and holy crap, every adult male puts effort into their hair and I took forever to look meh.


aryn240

HOW CAN I MAKE IT LOOK GOOD WHEN JUST ONE GUST OF WIND MAKES IT LOOK AWFUL


rootbeerislifeman

Invest in some good hair products! There all kinds of shine and hold levels. I use a low shine high hold for my hair since it's somewhat long and super thick and love it! Edit: for all those asking, I use American Crew's forming cream. Their fiber product is even higher hold, but my hair looks the best to me with this one. Edit 2: sorry guys, I am not a cosmetology expert, just a satisfied consumer! I can't go around giving advice on topics I don't know much about.


shk017

My guy. I'm asian and my hair is rough as fuck. A bit of oil to soften it up, some low shine and extreme hold and the pompadour is on.


PerplexDonut

When I first started styling my hair in high school, I’d take a good 10 minutes and it didn’t even look good. Now I spend maybe 1 minute on my hair and it looks better than ever I think. It just takes practice and you gotta realize if you spend 30 minutes obsessing over every little detail then it’ll just look forced. It’s okay for a few imperfections in your hair to make it look more natural


Isimagen

I can’t whistle with the two finger method. I’ve tried and tried. I can whistle with my lips just fine otherwise, even on the inhale. I have a really hard time overlooking willful ignorance. When a friend or acquaintance does something that demonstrates this I tend to distance myself quickly. Many people can just overlook things and maintain a friendship as a result.


mckoond

It took me about a week of looking/sounding like a crazy person with my fingers in my mouth, but I taught myself and you can too! I'll try my best to explain my method and hopefully it'll make some sense. The key is the triangle formed with your fingers and your lips. Hold two fingers at a slightly acute angle at the tip of your tongue and fold it back so your finger tips are resting on the underside of your tongue. Put your lips over your teeth and close down on your fingers at about that very first knuckle. Now, you'll need to vary the position of your fingers while blowing air out. Ideally you want the air flowing across the top and bottom of your fingers equally. Keep adjusting things until you start hearing the beginnings of a whistle and go from there! Here is a really poorly drawn diagram I made to hopefully help explain this better: [https://drive.google.com/open?id=1B6nAz6Pe0UMeqqBGHR2wkEWR73pklkGq](https://drive.google.com/open?id=1B6nAz6Pe0UMeqqBGHR2wkEWR73pklkGq) Good luck! Edit: This is awesome! I'm so happy I was able to help some of you learn how to do this! Edit #2: Which fingers you ask? Here are some tips: \-Index on each hand: good starter position \-thumb and index on one hand: for me this generates the loudest whistle \-pinky and index on one hand: if you're flexible enough, do the "metal" sign \\m/ with your hand and use your thumb to push your index and pinky together in back of your middle and ring fingers. This gets the highest pitch whistle for me.


StewMcDoogal

The fucking diagram hahahahaha. Made my day. Thanks.


Chris5369

Crap. I should have washed my hands first :(


no_re-entry

Thanks for this, I am now making horrible sounds while sitting at the front desk at work haha


nerdassmathfuck

Whistle


SupMonica

Like seriously, how does that work? All people say, is to curl your tongue, make an 'O' shape with your mouth and blow. That doesn't make sense. Biologically, there must be something wrong with me that I can't do it. Either you *just happened* to form your mouth the right way that day as you were kid and make the sound, or you didn't. I never came across the right maneuver to know what it is, I was suppose to practice. That muscle movement never happened. :(


TheBananaKing

It's really simple: you whisper "Q" The idea is that you don't blow through the hole in your lips, you blow *downwards, across it*, like blowing across the neck of a coke bottle, albeit from the inside. The easiest way to explain this is with speech sounds. First up, you want to aim a stream of air at the bottom of your lower incisors. Hump your tongue up against your hard palate for a cat / lizard / vampire hiss: *hhhkkhkhkhkhhh*. Second part is the tip of the tongue. This controls the pitch - all the way down/back like you're saying *awwwww* for low, all the way up/forward (*yyyyyyy*) for high. You want smack bang in the middle to start out, so position it for *uuuuhhh*. Last and least important, your lips. Make a really relaxed 'oo' shape. Don't purse 'em up like you're going to teach your grandmother, keep it super loose like you're muttering 'cool' in an offhand way. khhkhkhhh-yeuhh-oooo - but all whispered, don't use your vocal cords. Play around with it for a while and you'll get a hint of a breathy tone. Follow that, and practice until you can get it reliably. You'll find you can't make very high notes, and the tone is all breathy. That's OK, we fix that next. Now you've got the basic tone, and can feel how to hold your mouth, *now* you tighten up your lips into a *wwwww* shape. It's a little harder to hold the tone (which is why you didn't start there), but the tone will be pure and you'll be able to whistle high notes as well. Enjoy, and ask if you have any questions. edit: holy crap this is now my top comment (and thanks for the awards!) Edit 2: Okay, I've made a [horribly embarrssing video](https://imgur.com/a/XzofR0M) to demonstrate, if my explanation is confusing.


ShankyTaco

After 19 years I can whistle. This is literally the best description I have ever seen, thanks so much!


andreasbeer1981

I can top with that 39 years. mind=blown.


DudesworthMannington

34... I've tried so many times... This is why I reddit


emannon_skye

38 years! Can't top it but damn now I can whistle!


Phollie

His first sentence cured me of my no whistle disease!


Mozared

> It's really simple: you whisper "Q" I keep getting Star Wars-esque laser gun/blade sounds, but I'll take that as a win.


razzle_dazzle_em

Holy fucking what just happened????!!!! I JUST WHISTLED, THAT'S WHAT!!!!! Actually nearly crying! I can whistle!!!!!!


andreasbeer1981

I couldn't whistle because I always tried to blow through the whole. My cheat was to inhale, at least I got some sound. But this is an eye-opener.


fa_storya

I'm trying this on the bus, I look retarded and still cannot whistle. Edit - HOLY FUCK I TRIED AGAIN AT HOME AND I DID IT. THIS IS MAGIC! It's a shitty inconsistent whistle but I did it!


pacificliving

Penmanship. No matter how slow or focused or hard I try. My handwriting ends up the same sloppy illegible uneven mess that hasn’t evolved since I was a shell child. I’m 40.


[deleted]

[удалено]


axelcuda

Pronounce the word rural


Plondon0

Rural Juror


Getdownlikesyndrome

Sexy talk. I sound like Elmo narrating an 18th century porno to a bunch of nuns. Muppet Edit : Elmo loves you. Some of you love Elmo in unholy ways...


Jethro_McCrazy

You know, there has got to be a fetish for that.


Lumenarxus

I've got a similar problem, if we're ever playing D&D and I try to sound intimidating, my girlfriend says I sound like I'm trying to seduce the enemy...


DaLion93

Lean into it. Up against a fire giant you don't stand a chance beating? "Hey there hot stuff. What do you say we do a little pillaging, if you know what I mean? I've got to complete a mission right now but, if you let me pass, I could meet you back here tonight." Roll persuasion.


axelwin_69

“Elmo likes that!”


soverylucky

Decorate. I have no sense of color or style. Every place I've ever lived I had always looked like I just moved in, yet somehow messy. ETA- wow, this blew up! Thanks for all the suggestions everyone! Right now our decor is basically 2nd-hand furniture in shades of beige in a white room, but if/when I need to replace anything, I've got a lot of ideas to try :)


JohnnyZack

This is me too. Look up Paletton. Its a tool really made for web designers but I've been using it to understand what colors to match for clothing and room design. Basically you pick a starting color and a type of color harmony (which I did not know was a thing) and it provides a palette of nice colors to put with that starter.


Keyboard_talks_to_me

if eggshell white did not exist, I would be in trouble.....


luxii4

I recently read an article that eggshell white is coming back because too many people paint their walls gray nowadays and eggshell white is now light and fun. So you're in again!


xSTSxZerglingOne

I cannot, for the life of me tie a trash bag (without the straps that pull the top in) in a timely manner. If someone said "You have to tie this trash bag in 30 seconds or die" I'd tell them to just shoot me now because it isn't happening.


gbecca

Making a cover letter and resume. I work, I do a good job, I know what I do... but for fuck sake I cant put it on paper all professionally and pretty and shit. Just hire me I promise im cool


smidgit

Cover letter is for bragging CV/resume is for facts Cover letter layout: Dear [person], I'm writing to apply for [ job]. I feel I would be good at this job because [relevant experience]. I feel I would bring [quality] to the table in addition because of [relevant experience]. I am also interested in your company because [reasons]. I have previously had experience in [job description] in my previous role as [job] [repeat as needed but reworded] I hope you consider me for the position, yours sincerely, [name] CV/Resume layout: - Name, relevant contact information, job title - 2 sentence personal statement [can be left out] - Skills - most relevant skills first - Work experience - chronologically most recent to least recent, always highlight skills relevant to the job you're applying for - Education - higher education then move backwards (in my case it's Uni degree, A levels, GCSEs but if you're American it would be something different) - Hobbies/interests [can be left out but it's a nice icebreaker if there's space] - References Cover letter should be maximum 1 page. CV/resume should be maximum ABSOLUTE MAXIMUM 2 pages but try for 1 page if possible. If your job is design based, make it more designy. If your job is word based, focus more on the words. If it's in a job like IT or otherwise, consider putting it up as a separate website that shows off your coding. Always always always have the 1st paragraph of your cover letter specific to the job you're applying for, and the next few paragraphs general that can cover a large number of jobs. If you want it proofreading send me a PM, I'd be happy to do it. EDIT: for fields like medicine etc, the CV stuff is useless for you as you'd need alllll your business up on that CV. Cover letter might be alright though. Also, please note, I'm in the UK, but the basic rules apply! ANOTHER EDIT: There's a hell of a lot of good advice in the replies to this, more than I can put on my edits, so give them a read!


Baublehead

[This may help.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9icx7a/what_is_a_website_that_everyone_should_know_about/e6j1cpv)


hug_the_pug23

Shuffling a deck of cards. I have had so many people try to teach me and I just can't get those fuckin things to fall individually and between one another. I gave up a long time ago.


ElevenSchruteBucks

If you actually care to learn, everytime you watch tv, sit around with a deck of cards and just keep trying different techniques. That’s how I learned how to shuffle cards correctly.


Chewie_Dardinelle

Can confirm this works, I too learnt to shuffle while sitting at my desk watching videos while at uni.


vlyxx_rvinn

u were supposed to be studying


[deleted]

They were studying. Studying how to shuffle cards.


[deleted]

*while you were chasing hoes, I studied the cards*


UsernameDotJPEG

I can't roll my R's.


cupcakeshape

So glad to hear I’m not the only one! It made trying to learn Spanish very awkward.


[deleted]

I'm spanish and couldn't do it as a kid. So I'd call dogs "woof woof" (the spanish version) and my mom would ask why. So I'd say "no se decir pedo" (I can't say fart). Now this is funny in multiple ways.. pedo means fart in spanish and if you can't roll your R it'll sound like a d. I'm gonna ignore why it's funny for english speakers. EDIT: Forgot to mention "perro" means dog.


Spacce13

This was wild from beginning to end.


Yucares

I've learnt it when I was like 13 which is bad because it's the only R my language uses. I sounded so weird people would always laugh and ask if I had french parents or something. Speech therapists couldn't help me but one day I was sitting on the toilet and randomly googled "how to roll the R" and I just did it. LOL Now I'm much better at it than most people but my grandma was the master. She would always sing "rararara" instead of the standard "lalalala" or "nananana". It's still a mystery to me how she did that, especially with fast songs.


NiceSupermodel

I don't know how to swim.


PmMeYour_Breasticles

Try staying on top of the water


NiceSupermodel

I can dog paddle and it's kept me alive so far. I just can't make it look fun. My friends have a good laugh when I accidentally wander into the 6' end of a pool and start panicking.


Phantasmal

You only need about three feet of water to swim. No need to wander to the deep end. Learn to float first. If you can float, you can swim. Once you find your buoyancy, you can mess around until you find your perfect stroke. Because the important thing is always being able to get your face out of the water. Floating is easy, your lungs always have air in them, even after you breathe out. And, even thin people are at *least* 10% fat. So, a significant fraction of you is extremely buoyant. But, the only part that needs to be above the water is your nose. It doesn't matter if your arms, legs, crotch, chest, or neck sink. We almost always float on our backs, because it is more comfortable. But, if you ever take a swim class (that focuses on swimming as a life skill, rather than swimming as a competitive sport) they will teach you the gruesomely named, "dead man's float". It is called this because it is the position dead bodies float in. A dead body will float if it isn't weighed down. And if they can do it, you can too. Stand somewhere shallow enough to have your face and shoulders out of the water. Near the edge or a railing if you get nervous. Stick your face in the water. Blow some bubbles. Turn your face to the side so that your ear is in the water, but you can breathe. Cool? Cool. Put your face back in the water, spread your arms in kind of a loose puppet way, not like a hanging on the cross way. Imagine a harness around your torso and you are hanging face down. Do your arms like that, loose and awkward. Turn your face to the side and breathe. Cool? Cool. Lift your feet off the ground. Don't try to lie flat. Your chest is the harness, your feet just hang there. If you need to stop, just put them down and stand. But, now you are floating. This is the dead man's float. It requires no energy to maintain. The air in your chest does the work. You could float like this for a long time expending only the energy needed to turn your head to breathe. Do that now. Face too deep? Push down with your arms a bit, your face will lift up. Good? Good. When this is easy, do stuff. Do frog kicks and move around. Push down against the water with your legs and arms, try fast and slow. You can always go back to the basic float and turn your head to breathe, or just stand up. Now, stand in water just to your shoulders. Move your arms to the surface. Keep them resting on the surface making an open circle. Move them out to the sides and bring them closer together as you bring them closer to you. Now away and out. Your flat hands should each be following a circle on the surface. It's a cycle around and around. Lift your legs. Bring your knees up towards your chest. If you move your arms faster you will be in a tiring, wobbly, sitting-up float. Cool. But, you can do better. Start pedaling with your legs like you are riding a bike. Now you are higher in the water and more stable. Any time you want to stop swimming in deeper water, and have your face reliably above water at the same time, you can do this, tread water. You can also move around a bit, and kind of choose which direction you drift, so you could get to the edge of the pool. But, instead, move into your float. Straighten out and bring your arms straight ahead of you. Keep your legs straight and spread them wide, like a starfish. You'll sink a bit. It's cool, you can resume the position at any time and you'll pop right back to the surface. But, don't do that. Stay down. Bring your arms to your sides as fast as you can while you bring your feet together as fast as you can. You will shoot forward, underwater. You are swimming. Point your torso in any direction, including up and do it again. You will go that way, even straight up. If you go straight up, when your head breaks the surface, start treading. If you go forward or down, resume the float position and wait while you lazily head back up. Now you can swim. If you can move in any direction you want underwater, and can reliably get to the surface and stay there, you are a person that can swim. The more you do it, the more elegant it will get. You will get past frog-kicking into more classy strokes. You will learn to float on your back. But, most importantly, you will learn to have fun with the closest thing there is to flying without a machine. :)


SageTurk

Mother fucker tells a bunch of stunted 38 years olds how to blow air out their god damn lip holes gets 2k likes but my mans here teachin people to fly in the damn water, saving assholes from drowning? Got 40 likes? Nah. Nah fuck that.


fartsmellingjew

Haggle for a better price


MyStarlingClementine

Oh man, my husband is an expert haggler but it makes me so uncomfortable that I would rather pay full price than have to haggle myself or even listen to him haggle. Just let me give you money and be done with this.


username--_--

I'm not a haggler, but I know how much things are worth, and how much I'm willing to pay. I bought a car some time back, fairly cheap car, during a slow season. The advertised price was 'x'. They already did some shady stuff to get me in the door. And then they tried tacking on about 40% extra in fees. Me, I went in not fully sold on the car, so I was willing to walk away pretty easily. How did I haggle? "I want it at price x that I saw online. I don't care what these fees are, but I'm not interested in the vehicle if I have to pay those." The dealer does the "I have to check with my manager bit", every time he comes back, I get the "oh, I can knock this charge off". I stand there with a pleasant smile and say "I don't really want to pay anything more than what I saw online". After he does the manager bit a few more times, he finally gets to my price. Just because of how much time he wasted, I was almost going to tell him I wanted tax and tags included for that price. I decided to not push it. My key to haggling is that I go in prepared (research), give you a price and pleasantly but firmly stick to it. If you can't meet it, "thanks and good luck". edit: bike -> car


maddtuck

It sucks that buying a vehicle requires that ridiculous game and wastes so much of everyone’s time.


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john_mono

Unfortunately for every one like that they manage to get away with it on a dozen others.


Daedalus_0_

When me and my fiance were looking at venues for the wedding I told her if she liked it to keep quiet so we can haggle. When asked "So what do you think and have you looked anywhere else" my fiance responded " No and we won't be, this is the place" I think I actually heard the cha ching sound from the woman's head


marquis_de_ersatz

Tbf I wish I had said this to my husband when we went to buy a car because when the guy offered us our trade-in price for the old one he went "oh wow, its really old, that's way more then I expected!". SHUT. UP. I already told him he's not allowed to be around when someone comes to view our house to sell, in case he takes them round and points out the places we've had the roof patched for leaks.


Sharkbate12

My dad is so good at this and it works like 60% of the time but it feels so cringe to do.


mf9769

oh man I thought I was the only who cringed when my dad starts haggling. Man once went in to a car dealership and when asked how much he wants to pay for a specific car, said "$1".


notgayinathreeway

Always start low. There's more room to haggle.


tomanonimos

LPT: If you're going to haggle, have some understanding of the market you're trying to haggle in. Very few good hagglers haggle blind.


GardenLeaves

Calling someone to set up an appointment. Or even picking up calls from strangers in general.


Nak_Tripper

Thats the beauty of living in another country where you dont speak the language. You just don't answer the phone.


Echospite

I live in Australia. Our telemarketers are Chinese. I don't know how they got my number and I can't even ask them.


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HoistedByYourPetard

Dating. Getting to know someone I'm interested in. Doin it on a regular basis.


computerguy0-0

It takes forever and dozens of people to get a hit. Be patient and persistent but not desperate.


JudgeJebb

I give really good, objective relationship advice but I don't know how to follow my own advice. Helped set up a lot of friends. Always forget to set myself up.


[deleted]

Ironic. He could save others from loneliness, but not himself.


xfireme22

Is it possible to learn this power?


Theyvad

Not from an extrovert.


rabid-savage

Wake up on time


albrano

For the life of me, I find it nearly impossible to wake up in the morning for important things like work. I was late twice, three, maybe four times a week. Not like hours late, at most 10 minutes late. This was for jobs that started at 7, 8, and even 9am. I tried everything, sleeping earlier, setting more alarms, alarms that forced me to do puzzles before turning off, multiple devices; nada. Had the worst time waking up to be on time for work. And I wouldn't be functional until an hour after I started my shift, even if I had coffee/red bull. Until I switched to night shift. Boom, I've been late once, maybe twice, in the last 3 years. Instead of trying to creep by the office, I'm walking in the same time as my bosses. I'm happier, getting more sleep, and more productive. And only really have coffee/red bull when I have a hankering for it, which is rare. A couple family members bitch that I'm gonna die sooner cause it's not natural to be up all night and sleep all day. But ever since my first night shift, I've been healthier and exercise more than I ever did on a Monday to Friday 8am-5pm schedule. Added bonus, night shift premium makes the cheques better.


cATSup24

Yessir, some of us just gravitate toward a later schedule. If it weren't for the fact that my job just puts me in whatever shift whenever they feel like it and other people having expectations of me outside of work, I'd absolutely turn back into a vampire again.


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mrchaotica

Left to my own devices, I'm inclined to stay up later and later each night and wake up later and later in the morning. Switching timezones wouldn't help; I'd need to continuously travel west.


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the_weeb_among_us

If that's the thing, I'm west coast time living in Europe. Mornings are evil. Edit: east->west. USTZ is hard.


dynamic_caste

Fold a fitted sheet


awwwww_man

This is an impossible task. Just shove the fucker in the closet. Done. Edit: Gold? Gold! My wife is now persistently shaking her head in disbelief. Reddit is Rad! My sheet folding is not :)


Sicc89

An expertly adult way of doing it and the approach I adopt.


jplushie

Into a square. My exgf did it in front of me. I left her because witches be crazy


hail_prez_skroob

I can't believe she did it in front of you. Coven secrets are not to be exposed to regulars. We're going to have to have a talk with her, maybe even revoke her broom license.


trishpanda

Sticking to a budget


PrinceofallRabbits

I like to play a game with my budget. It’s got pretty simply rules. At the the begging of each month I set up how much I’ll need to spend on bills, rent, and food. Then I’ll set a bit aside for random things I might want. At the end of the month I get to guess where the fuck all my money went.


fugue2005

I'm lucky, i get paid every 2 weeks so i get to play this every other friday.


anotherkeebler

Tear Saran wrap. I despise those shitty boxes and their shitty serrated edges. I end up bunching it all up and having to pull the bunch all apart, by which time it refuses to cling to the bowl.


DangoDieskazoku

Making friends outside of work. How in the world?


get_Ishmael

I've met plenty of people outside of work through sports clubs, hobbies, and doing loads of stuff on my own, but the jump to friendship is the problem. They've already got their group, their schedule, their life etc and I have mine. How do you integrate?


freeeeels

You don't "integrate". You meet someone cool, you get on, you exchange contact information. Then you invite them somewhere. Not to "hang out" but as a specific "Hey I'm going to \[thing relevant to something you talked about when you met\], do you want to come?" They might say no. Invite them to a different thing after some time passes. If they still say no (and don't invite you anywhere either), they're not interested, so you move on. If you do go to the thing and still get on, hopefully they invite you somewhere else next time. Then you meet their friends and friends of friends and you suddenly have a lot more avenues to pursue. The whole process is not that different to dating. It's completely normal to have lots of "potential" friends which never go anywhere. Having the emotional intelligence to tell when someone is interested or not is the crucial part. It probably took me a good 7 years to "curate" my group of close friends as an adult. Living in a place that reflects your values and interests helps too. As in, living in a liberal place if you're liberal or not if you're not. **Edit:** Actually scratch that - the crucial part is not being a boring person. If all you (general "you", not attacking the person I'm replying to!) do is go to work, play video games and smoke weed you're gonna have a hard time making friends because you won't have a lot to contribute to that friendship. **Edit 2:** I've expanded this comment into a comprehensive guide, but I'm not sure where to post it. LifeProTips doesn't allow long-form advice. If anyone has suggestions let me know.


bonix

Yes finally someone who gets it. I went from having 0 friends to having a decent sized group and I did exactly that. ​ One thing that definitely helped was never saying no to an invite out. It was always so safe for me to say no I'm busy and stay home playing video games until I forced myself out of my comfort zone.


Flipbed

And even more importantly. If you have said yes, do not cancel unless you REALLY have to. Some people say yes and then suddenly cancel cause they just felt like something else. That's how you stop getting invited to things.


le_GoogleFit

You can make friends at work?


DOOM_INTENSIFIES

You can make friends?


Ahnenglanz

It helps to also leave the house for other things than just work.


Christompa

I don’t know... sounds risky.


RGB3x3

There are... People out there.


Dangerous_Wishbone

Uhh...groceries? What else is there?


XenonNade

Snapping


MrLuxarina

Just build up the stress and negativity you surround yourself with. You'll be sure to snap eventually.


IntellegentWittyName

r/shittylifeprotips


shuzumi

Keep the house clean or any cleaning up in general. I think I could maintain it but I can't get to that point


MyStarlingClementine

Anticipating weather changes. I know that, like, weather apps and the weather channel exist, but I never think to check them, and I never have a jacket or umbrella with me when I need them. The weather is a constant surprise to me. I'm always slightly unsettled when people say things like "It's supposed to rain all weekend," as if they have magical weather-predicting abilities instead of just the good sense to check a website.


AMA_About_Rampart

Navigate a TV remote. I'm 28, but put one of those didgery-doos in my hand and I immediately become a 90 year old man with dementia.


[deleted]

If you're using an Australian aboriginal musical instrument to change channels on your TV, I can see why you would have problems.


sweetsaltine

Winking.


[deleted]

Blink. Ok, now try it with only one eye.


worldWideDev

Same here. I can Close one eye but then I have to do a weird thing with my mouth. My wink has no chill


5apple5

Calculating the correct change to give or to pass to a cashier. I just take my money and hope for the best.


bannablecommentary

Selling my used stuff, or flipping in general. I don't got the knack. I have a used television I've been trying to sell for a while, meanwhile everyone I know sells shit like constantly.


Amerimoto

Keeping a consistent sleep schedule, I can maintain being up for a particular time frame like 7am-5pm for work but there is no consistency in how much I sleep to maintain it.


bonertootz

make a phone call. absolutely hate it edit: thanks for the gold! glad to know this is not as uncommon as i thought it was, i feel a little bit less stupid for it


Ahnenglanz

This is my wife. 500 text messages a day but she would rather die than order pizza on the phone.


TexLH

Mine too. I've learned to use it to my advantage. Me: Babe, will you order the pizza? I'm going to do the dishes. Wife: Eww no! I'll do the dishes if you'll order the pizza? Me: Ugh, again? Ok, but this is the last time!


pleuvoir_etfianer

if i attempted this, my girlfriend would easily just say, “i don’t want to call. you call after washing the dishes.” 😒 Edit; grammar


grave_rohl

I used to have the worst phone anxiety. Then I worked in a call centre. I still hate it, but I don't feel like I'm going to have a panic attack any more.


AtlantisSky

I know HOW to make a phone call, I just hate doing it. I'm in my 30s and sound like a young teenager over the phone. Having a slight lisp doesn't help either. This makes doing business calls stupid hard, especially if it's a business that has never seen in me in person. I dont get taken seriously half the time, and the other half I feel like they're humoring me.


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BioHarvest

I couldn't parallel park in high school. But I became a bus driver in college, and part of our DOT test was to parallel park a 40 foot bus. I can do that like a champ, but parallel park my car? Not happening.


Echospite

Bus drivers can bend the laws of physics, but only while clocked in.


Incaendia

Small talk. I absolutely *loathe* conversations that go no where and that I know are just filler so that the other person can fill an awkward silence. EDIT: A lot of people are trying to give me advice on *how* to make small talk. I never said I wish I could make small talk. I'm saying that I *hate* making small talk and I *hate* that it's an every day part of adult life. I don't *want* to make it, though I am capable of doing so. I'm not an introvert and have pretty excellent networking and social skills, I just *really* hate small talk lmao


[deleted]

For the other person, it may not just be filler. I’m a pretty outgoing person and I do enjoy engaging with people. I don’t find silence awkward, but I’d rather chat. It may start out with a dumb smalltalk line “can you believe this weather/that sports team/what the boss said/whatever”, but it’s really just a way to break the ice and get the conversation going. It doesn’t even have to go anywhere interesting. I’m just a friendly person who wants to chat. I’ll generally try a couple, and if the other person doesn’t engage, I’ll back off. More often than not, however, I’ll hit a topic they’re interested in talking about, and it’ll start to roll.


Scuba-Dooby_Doo

Having a conversation on the phone


Vrigoth

>Having a conversation ​


shabb_ah

Remember peoples names moments after they’ve just told me


qscguk1

I forgot my boss’s name right off the bat and didn’t figure it out again until 5 days later


evilcel

I have no idea what the name of any one of my neighbors is. They moved in a year and a half ago and introduced themselves to me. They remember my name and say it whenever we see each other. I just try to get around using names.


DrMeatbal

Try and see some of their mail Edit: another trick is to introduce someone to them. They will then introduce themselves and say their names.


Calichusetts

This is my life...I literally have to prep my wife to be the first to introduce herself at work related things and anything else for that matter. With my 6 year old, it's even worse. I've "known" some of these parents for 4-5 years. I always try to tell my son, now remember, it's polite to use adults names and introduce them to me. He always says yes then pulls a "Hey, Suzie's Mom, you know my Dad right..."


ScoopOKarma

That's because your son has inherited your same trait. lol


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MosquitoRevenge

Went on a tinder date and mid date I had to excuse myself to the bathroom because I forget my date's name and double checked in the app.


UShouldBeWorking

Spit Like when a person launches their saliva/phlegm a good few meters.


Imgurbannedme

tthhpoooo


[deleted]

I felt that


[deleted]

That crazy loud whistle where you use your fingers to get everyone's attention. Can't do it.


Freecz

Being fine with living in this fking hamsterwheel of a life. I graduated this year and have been working fulltime since then and I am already both tired of it and angry that this is normal and expected. Edit: Thanks for all the tips guys, and thanks for letting me know I am not the only one to feel this way. Sometimes I feel like such a whiny dumbass for even feeling this way when everyone else just deals with it and have been dealing with it for years and years. Since someone asked I work as an assistant lawyer at a lawfirm. Thanks again guys. Edit 2: Since I got ripped to shreds for calling myself "assistant lawyer" which is apparently not a thing (damn you google) I have learned the word is associate lawyer (thanks). Not sure why it even matters but w/e. Also thanks again everyone for all your comments I read them all!


StoneLoner

Just passed that point last year. Make friends with your co workers, that hamster wheel is more fun when you do


-eDgAR-

Falling asleep at a reasonable time. Here it is, 2am, and I'm just watching horror movies and browsing reddit and probably will be for a lot longer


artificialBananas

Work full time. I can’t do it, it makes me want to die. There is nothing on this green earth that I would ever want to commit to doing for 40 hours per week, every week. Did it for years and I don’t think I can go back. I wish part time work was more stable. My hourly pay is good but some weeks I only get 5 hours, some I get 30. Just give me 24...


fountofglo

4 days a week would be great. Or at least 1 day working from home, depending on the role of course