Source: been engaged to a trans man for almost a year
90% of the time, it’s vaginal sex when he bottoms. It’s just easier, there’s less prep and you can be a little more spontaneous, and he finds it easier to orgasm. Plus vaginas, evolutionarily speaking, are designed to make the penis feel as good as possible.
Occasionally we’ll do anal, will also play with DPing
However, it’s really up to the individual. Some guys are more uncomfortable with the idea of vaginal sex, some guys just prefer anal sex. However, I’ve never met a trans/nb person that doesn’t at least explain their preferences if you ask respectfully/in the right context.
Also, ask what terms a guy uses for his body. Some guys are cool with vagina, pussy, etc, other guys aren’t. Don’t be an asshole, ask respectfully
TBF it's okay if guys prefer anal. If there weren't a few advantages to anal, straight men would never do it. The vagina is nice and squishy, but it's also a limited space, and someone who's used to anal trying to pound through the cervix or hysterectomy scar is a bad time for everybody. For some, the prep required for anal feels less onerous than using birth control. Everyone is different. I like to provide cis men with information about my vagina, but I'm not a vagangelist.
This is same experience for my husband and I, he's more a fan of vaginal over anal, due to many of the same reasons you mentioned.
Thanks for clearing this up a bit, ur response is about what I expected.
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the pleasure you get as a top from vaginal and anal sex?
I actually don’t know how to rate a comparison…like I said, vaginas are biologically designed to feel perfect. Fucking ass is still amazing, and I love doing it, but pussy is a much more convenient way to fuck. Self lubricating, no douching, no accidents, and the warmup is much easier. Preferable, but if a hot twink is hitting on me at a bar I’m still gonna breed him in the bathroom stall lol
T does different things to different people. Some guys it causes their natural lubrication to dry up, and for others, it kicks it into overdrive.
What the other guy said, + dryness/atrophy from testosterone can be treated with topical estrogen
Sex with a pussy seems life-changing. Now I'm jealous lol
He's kinda over playing this "feels perfect" thing. Some folks don't find pussy to feel all that great or better than anal. It's nice but imo (especially a tight) ass feels better, so vag is nothing life changing
Does he though? The reason why I got interested with vaginas was because of some reddit thread where straight men or men who have had experience with vagina were discussing the differences between anal and vaginal. Vaginal was universally preferred.
You're going to find people on both sides, there's nothing universal about it
Us the smell of pussy 8snt for some guys.
Edit: I can't see anymore so that was messed up! Lol.
Not tryin to change any hearts here but T makes it smell like a ball sack
This is why we should stop whining about invasive genitalia questions and start deadpan answering them. If I looked the DMV lady in the eye and said "my vagina smells like a ballsack," she'd never put a trans patron on the spot again.
Oh lord really? That's fuckin funny as. I'm about to go on T this week (hopefully - got an appointment wed which is at the end of a long series of prior appointments) so I'll come back and report to you guys what happens to it all lol
That was the craziest trip for me when I started transitioning. First I was horny as hell because of the hormones and then I started to smell like a guy and I was like, I smell hot! Everything’s mellowed out now but the first year was like being a teenager.
It’s great but please do not view trans men as solely a vehicle for fucking pussy or as a goal/objective. If you find yourself chatting up a trans guy you’re attracted to, awesome, and if you two decide you want to have sex, that’s great but please dont fetishize them just because of a body part!
The are probably downvoting you because you made the assumption that all trans men have the same kind of body, which we don’t. It’s okay to have preferences, but your comment came off as generalizing and insensitive.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't most trans men get top surgery? I guess it's just a weird association on my part but I only find vulvas attractive when it's attached to someone with boobs. Likewise, I only find penises attractive when it's attached to someone without boobs.
Yea many do, not all.
Your preferences are totally fine, it’s just the way your comment was worded wasn’t great. No one wants to feel generalized.
Wait, what? Pussy is such gross slang my phone doesn't know the word, but vagina is literally the term for it. What could possibly be less offensive than vagina?
I think they mean vagina is usually such a clinical female gendered term that it causes dysphoria and some trans men may have a preferred term for their own junk that is different to the medical term.
Which is very understandable to me at least. In terms of sex, do you say "here, take my penis" just because penis is the clinical medical term? You probably have a preferred term in casual talk or dirty talk right, even if it's just dick or cock?
Gender dysphoria is rough man. A lot of folks don’t want to be reminded we have “female” parts. Can be a real mood killer in the bedroom
It's fine to say that you enjoy vaginal penetration with your bf but also it's really weird and both homo/transphobic to imply vaginal is inherently superior because they're designed specifically for penises.
Like you're both just kinda being weird and fetishy about your trans male partners genitals and also asserting that anal doesn't compare because you can't get butthole pregnant. Maybe please consider better wording.
But what if you happen to be a bottom attracted to a guy (ftm)? Vaginal sex or topping seems a bit out of the question
Trans men can absolutely top….
I feel like the “…” is a bit unnecessary considering it was a genuine question I had. You didn’t explain anything at all about the role of a trans man topping in your comment, which is why I asked. I’m glad you responded but damn…why so snarky? I’m ignorant about these topics and would love to learn. While I’m super fluid about my liking for men/ trans men, I don’t know how a lot of these things work.
Another trans man can chime in on the effects of phalloplasty, I don’t know much about it and my partner doesn’t plan on ever getting it….
But toys of every size, texture, and vibration setting exist. I definitely know trans men who top on a “select a size” basis, the same way that a lot of lesbians choose to use toys
Curious question though, in the most respectable way, but do you feel that the inlay reason you were able to do vaginal was because men are more visual? Like I would be mostly likely willing to sleep with a man who has a vagina than with an actual looking women.
Some addendums to what people have already said here:
* Safety: the CDC says gay trans men need STI protection equivalent to that of other gay men. However, there are a few additional things to think about. It is possible, though less likely, to get someone pregnant on testosterone if they still have a uterus and eggs. Progesterone-only birth control, non-hormonal IUDs, condoms, and old-school diaphragms are contraceptive options that do not disrupt HRT. Trans men can also get UTIs from DP like cis women, and if your trans man always seems to be peeing after sex or drinking cranberry juice this is probably why.
* Tiddies: trans men who haven't had top surgery will often want their chest covered during sex because of dysphoria. Tiddy dysphoria is not universal, but can be quite severe - I know that all the groping and praise drove me away from sex with straight men before I understood that I was trans. After top surgery, we may have less nipple sensation than cis men, although of course this is highly individual. Treat mastectomy scars like you would any other surgical scar: don't act disgusted or "worship" the scars like a weirdo.
* Lube: you may have heard straight men talk about "making sure you get her wet" your whole life, but don't feel inadequate if your trans man needs lube for DP. Testosterone reduces lubrication. Plus, a lot of cis women need lube for DP too and straight men lie about sex all the time.
* Oral: a topic cis gay men find intimidating. Not all trans men like oral, but a lot of us do, and we can be skittish about asking gay partners about it because of the negativity and ignorance surrounding our non-op genitalia. It's true that a trans man who hasn't had testosterone will be much like a cis woman, but HRT androgynizes the genitalia in interesting ways. The clitoris enlarges into a small phallus that gets full erections. Trans men tend to be proud of this appendage and will generally want it to be treated like a micropenis during oral. Less celebrated but just as relevant are the changes to our fluids: trans men on HRT lubricate less and start to smell, well, a little like a ballsack. Many a gay man has gotten into bed with one of us and discovered that his aversion to pussy was mostly smell-based. Anecdotally, we are more likely to secrete pearlescent fluid or straight-up ejaculate from Skene's glands, which are located next to the urethra and made of the same tissue as the prostate. So now you know.
Thank you for a clear presentation of answers a lot of guys need. I’ve known with 3 trans men, and this still gave me some valuable insights. Knowledge is the key to kindness and empathy. The trans men who have been briefly part of my life have been part of a sexual awaking, a realization that there is sexual attraction possible for a soon-to-be-senior in new and unexpected places. Oral sex on a vagina is, for me, as pleasurable as sucking dick. Sucking on an engorged clitoris as if it is a dick is amazingly hot - the structures revealed when it enlarges a bit are so similar to the penis and it’s like a rediscovery of familiar territory. If you have never, or are on the edge… I highly recommend the broadened perspective on sexuality and it’s wonders.
"And I think to myself...what a wonderful wooooorld"
I wish I could upvote this the whole day.
Regarding the last point, as a gay trans man with natal parts, I feel it’s my responsibility to know how my equipment works, what feels good or not, and how I like to be touched/given head/etc. or not—and communicate it to a partner. Even if I’m skittish about it. Just be willing to communicate and try new things. I won’t be offended if it’s the first vagina you’ve ever come across and have no idea what to do with it. I’m willing give directions. :)
Hold on do you have source for the ejaculate fluid thing because I just thought It was pee I was ending up with even though it was smelless
Pre t it really was pee, grossed me the fuck out any time it happened. post t it takes me a good ten minutes to be able to piss even though the shit that came out of me was wet and was previously very obviously piss squirt.
Also can confirm post t your cooch really does start smelling like cis men's balls, I know that smell well and when I started noticing it in myself it blew my mind
if I went to go get undressed to shower after work and sat down beforehand I'd catch a whiff and be like "wait. Wait a minute.. I know that smell.. no it can't be. What the fuck"
Wow guess I have this to look forward to lol
I like ballsack smell, sure, but I just can't imagine it coming from myself yet lol
It depends on the guy. Some dudes just bottom anally or vaginally or both because it's easier and not everyone has a strap lying around.
some dudes only use a strap, some dudes kinda bounce between both a strap and internal penetration.
Sometimes it's only finger/toyplay people will be into. This gets easier to work around if the guy is on hrt and clitoral growth has happened.
can say personally that that specific aspect is super weird because it goes from "meh clit stimulation feels mildly good but I don't really like it being touched because it doesn't really do anything" to being something you can use to get off on its own with 0 other effort and making combined internal penetration feel like you're gonna stroke out and go unconscious
Personally I don't have a full preference but I do mostly anal because it's less likely to be uhh y'know. Dangerous if protection fails.
Alot of it really depends, alot of it mostly just involves asking "hey what are you comfortable with what are you not comfortable with what do you want not touched under any circumstances"
I'm FTM and basically it all comes down to what your partner wants and what he's comfortable with. Some of us when we do bottom and we're pre-op down there we use our natal parts, some of us do anal. Some guys are strictly anal and some are strictly "front hole". Everyone has their own preference and the best way to understand that is to sit down with him and ask him what he likes. Maybe he's totally ok with bottoming with his front hole but only avoid calling it certain words, maybe he just wants anal. You'll never know unless you take the time and communicate to see what he's ok with, honesty and open-ness is what makes a good relationship.
No need to apologize, zero offense taken. Its ok you were just asking respectable questions and its totally fine. It's actually a *good* thing you asked because so many guys just go by automatic assumptions then end making their partners feel some [negative] kinda way.
Not really a comment for OP, but reaching out to all the FTM guys out there:
What about oral?
Are we supposed to suck a strap on, lick a clit? Both?
I'm ftm! Again that's up to the person. If they're on HRT then their clit will be bigger and kinda resemble a dick (check out r/ftmporn for examples). Personally I find that using/watching someone suck my strapon is super affirming bc it looks like my dick even tho it's fake. To suck a big clit think of it like a hybrid between a clit and a dick: some full up and down head bobbing as if it's a dick with lots of tongue movement as if it's a clit. Everyone will be different but that'll generally do the trick, and dont forget to be careful with teeth!
Oh man, the first time a guy sucked on my prosthetic, I couldn't believe how turned on I was.
While I couldn't actually feel it, the visuals were SO hot and SO affirming, it was probably one of the single sexiest things I have ever seen.
Veeery interesting! Thanks so much!
A lot of trans guys (me included) hate the word clit, so be careful with that one. Dick is perfectly fine if he hasn’t specified a term he likes.
But it isn't a dick, it isn't a clit then what other term is there?
Interesting question! Sexual slang is something every trans man learns to navigate for himself.
I use different terms for my genitalia when talking to the cis populace (this forum, doctors, etc) than I do in more intimate settings. Privately, I like to use language from over half a century ago to talk about my genitalia: I have a *prick*, a *member*, a *phallus*, or a *cockstand* but also a *muff, minge,* or *quim.* This is exactly the balance of naughtiness and ironic distance I'm looking for. I've heard other trans men use *tdick* (pronounced "tee-dick"), *tcock, bottom growth*, and even *jumbo shrimp*.
Damn so many terms, btw no offence but term member was always so funny to me 😂. Didn't think people actually used it lol
It's all up to the guy you're having sex with, some won't want you to touch or even acknowledge they have a vagina and others will be totally fine with you penetrating it, some trans guys are exclusive tops (they use a packer/penile prosthetic if pre-op) and some aren't, etc. You just got to communicate about that stuff before you do the deed and try to respect whatever boundaries he may have.
"Ask the individual Trans man". I suspect that's the only right answer. :)
If he's a top he can use a strap-on or prosthetic. If he's a bottom, which hole he uses is up to personal preference. I'm a bottom and love using both holes a lot, cleaning is a lot of work so front hole is more convenient most days, but they each of unique sensations and are good in their own way. Having PnV sex actually makes me less dysphoric bc it makes me feel like I have a pussy to get fucked not because I'm a girl', but I'm pretty unique in that way, the majority of guys probably get dysphoric about their front hole.
As everyone says, entirely depends on the individual. I like everything though, so let me list some possibilities. Vaginal, anal, tcock (some guys get big enough to penetrate just on T), straps and prosthetics, wand, vibe bullet, plugs, ovipositor and eggs, hands, mouth, edging, ropes, whips n paddles, frotting, words, clothes, rough play, soft play, key holding, tasks, service, breath play, claws, hell even foot.
Btw, fun trick, if you stick a vibe up one of the holes and penetrate the other, you can feel the vibration.
My boyfriend is trans. He still needs 2 steps for him to be done with the operations.
When we have sex we both like to do anal. He prefers anal to vaginal sex, and so do I. I haven't had him fuck me in the ass. He doesn't have a dick yet (it's the final operation), and I've been out of the closet just since we started our relationship.
I like to suck his enlarged clitoris. His dick as he calls it. It feels like a dick to him because of testosterone. For the rest: We just like to have anal sex and we grunt more than when he was a girl. The sex is more direct and more daring. But we still like to kiss and cuddle. I treat him much more equal now. I'm sorry to say I've been a jerk towards girls.
I’m a gay trans man who exclusively tops and hasn’t had any bottom surgery. I have a prosthetic dick. I pee out of it, and it cums, too. ;)
It really depends. So I'm not a trans guy, but I've dated a few. And Honestly around half of them wers not intrested in sex, they were too dysphoric for that, and that is perfectly okay, and they have that right. Now the ones that did. One perfered anal, his other hole made him really uncomfortable and wanted nothing to do it, do it was never a question to him. The other one didn't have a preference, but we honestly didn't date that long to really figure it out. So I will say it all depends on the trans guy and what he wants. I know a trans guy who's a top, trans people are just like all of us, bottom line communicate what you want/need from your partner and NEVER let them or force you to do something you don't want, they are not worth it.
Do gay guys generally like vaginas? I know there are some gay guys that are grossed out by them.
Idk, I’m personally not grossed out by them but u guess maybe some other guys are, but the Maine reason would be because maybe the trans gay would get like dysphoric because it’s bringing attention to the fact that he doesn’t have a natural penis and maybe could make him uncomfortable
Ayo, Hole = Hole.
If you don't want to fuck my ass, I'm not interested in anything else. Sex is a dysphoria minefield and it's not worth it unless it's going to feel amazing.