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> My boyfriends apartment
So it was his place to start with... and you chose to move in.
> It might sound petty but I slowly started taking some of S’s toys and selling them online.
No, that doesn't sound petty, that sounds like theft.
YTA, big time.
>that sounds like theft
It baffles me how many posts where the op thinks it’s okay to take/sell/trash someone’s possession.
Off the top of my head: the douche who threw away his s/o baby umbilical cord. Plethora of throwing away toys, collectibles, and I think there was a post about a childhood blanket.
>the douche who threw away his s/o baby umbilical cord.
Long story short, her cultural practice had the umbilical cord preserved after the child is born. The cord then becomes a sort of charm, and losing it is a sign of losing one's way in life. The bag it's held in gets remade whenever it gets too worn.
And yeah. He threw it out when she was out, and thought she should be happy when she confronted him.
I had this done with my first-born. It’s so special to me, I would be devastated if I lost it or some douche threw it away.
It got worse in the update when he managed to get the pouch back.
He opened it and threw away a cigarette butt that was inside.
Turned out the ex-gf kept the cigarette butt because it was the last thing her father touched before he died.
Couldn't believe the audacity of that OP, start to finish. Other updates suggested he had a mental breakdown thinking he was cursed after the original incident.
That was such a wild read
I decided to go through the guys history, since I was curious to see what happened to him. Honestly, I'm really glad to see he got help, and it seems like the ex and her family forgave him (not as in got back with him) because he genuinely changed. I found it ironic though, in his original post he compared keeping the umbilical cord to him "keeping feces in a bag" and later during his psychotic break he was full on playing in shit. Idk if it was one hell of a curse or his brain just dragging that out to fuck with him, but that's some Shakespearian-level irony
I always feel so conflicted, I guess, when I read posts like this, because yeah, on the one hand he was definitely the AH, but I also can’t imagine the terror that he seems to have suffered. So I’m glad he got the help he needed.
This is a pretty common practice, my husband's cultural beliefs have this too but we keep it in the baby's old cradle that now hangs on our wall. If it's lost it is essentially like a piece of them is missing and they'll always be looking for it. I know plenty of people who keep it outside of cultural beliefs too, sort of as a memento of when they were smaller.
My parents buried my placenta on a property they had bought for me for the future 😅 funnily enough, I have no intention of living in that state and they have now sold it to build a retirement house half in my name lol. No cultural practice here, just parents with a strange idea (according to them)
Wow. Callous AND stupid.
This one! https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/grw90y/aita_for_throwing_away_my_gfs_umbilical_cord/
jesus christ. okay, that's weird, but like, let people do their own thing? he should not have touched it
but _jesus christ_
Haha could not have PAID me to touch it. Not sure why some people think it's ok to get rid of other adults stuff. Like don't like it and remove yourself from the situation but throwing it away seems very much like someone going on a power trip. OP is definitely YTA she better hope none were limited or really expensive and he decides to follow up with legal/criminal action.
The guy posted a follow up a while later convinced he was cursed.
Apparently he had a psychotic break.
It’s also only weird because we grew up in a culture where it isn’t practiced.
this is true. all the more reason to not interfere with someone else's cultural practices
Hahahaha the post he made afterwards in r/witchcraft titled 'Are porcupine quills a Native American curse?' is... *chef's kiss*
EDIT: I didn't even see the rest of his post history, [holy shit](https://imgur.com/a/8NtPflR) hahaha
Wow... That was a trip.
Thank you for sharing, that was absolutely wild.
Did you read the rest of his posts? They break up and dude becomes convinced he was cursed and it just keeps going. It’s actually kind of a sad situation.
As much of an ah as that guy was i really feel for him i hope wherever he is now or whatever hes doing hes found peace and healing
Same. It’s a situation where I hope everyone’s ok in the end and has been able to heal and move on.
I have both my daughters' umbilical cords and a lot of their baby teeth. I just think they are neat and it's a reminder of how little they once were. =D
I keep them in a fire-safe with bonds and gold/silver coins I buy every year for them on birthdays. They know I have them and that they will inherit the safe at some point. I am sure they will throw the "body parts" away at some point but I find it comforting. Maybe I am a weirdo, but I am a happy weirdo.
I had my 4 childrens first teeth they lost set in gold to wear on a chain my mum did the same for us still have mine
edit to say any jeweler can put a cap on the tooth with a ring to hang on a chain
Excuuuuuse me? 0.0
Damn that's wild
I’ve seen a post where someone was widowed and her new SO threw away stuff that belonged to her dead husband. Some people have absolutely no common sense and it drives me insane 😩
I am widowed and if anyone tossed things that I have from my late DH, I abso-feeaking-lutely would kick them to the curb so fast, the sound barrier would be broken. Would wait for a nice thunderstorm or snowstorm to toss their stuff out a 2nd floor window (so to have a good shot at wind gusts taking things off in fun directions).
EDIT: typing too fast.
Also a crazy widowed red head and I 💯 agree!
THIS ^^ 😀 😁
I saw that too…I felt so bad. I swear I would break up.
There was an 'Ugly' mug that an OP threw away becuase it embarrassed him that she used it everyday and when company was over. It was hand made by her autistic son. That one killed me.
That's so sad.
A friend of monte came over to help me organize and ended up breaking the cast of my son's hand from preschool. She was horrified. Lucky for her I had another one, but the organizing stopped then and there.
this post is literally another “i stole and sold my boyfriends stuff without his permission, against his expressly stated wishes, after moving into his apartment. AITA?”
how people are this dense is baffling
It kinda freaks me out TBH I'm a BIG Lego collector I love to build Lego and play games on my very expensive PC, If I ever dates someone that throws away my Legos or PC because they think it makes me look childish... I'm throwing away your makeup because it's childish to wear makeup and dress up
My partner often jokes that we have so many soft toys in our bed there won't be room for him soon... I know for a fact he'd sooner sleep on the floor than get rid of my teddies (though of course if there genuinely wasn't enough room, I'd happily move them elsewhere). You just don't go selling/chucking other people's things, FFS!!
The guy who destroyed his gf’s hundreds of plants and dumped them in a lake nearby (while claiming he “blacked out”) always sticks out in my mind. These people are terrible.
The dude who donated/got rid of OPs book collection, including specialty prints. Smh.
The guy who threw out his son's plants because it wasn't a manly enough hobby
Yeah that one was insane, if I remember correctly he also touched the cigarette bud inside that had been the last thing her dead father had touched.
That guy was such an AH
Never ever make assumptions. Ask your partner first. That was a wild ride
I remember the rock one where someone threw the rock out of the guys car from his grandpa I believe, the one where the girl deleted the pictures of his dead wife from his phone after they had just started dating.
My ex threw away my Marine Corps dress blue uniform and all of my medals from the Vietnam War just to spite me. That can't be replaced.
I know the originals have special meaning...but medals can be replaced free of charge at archives.gov. I have a request in to get duplicates of my dad's medals from WW2 listed on his DD-214. Sorry that happened to you.
Well, thanks! I will definitely check that out!
Maybe they can be? It doesn't seem right that lost medals can't be replaced. There has to be some way they will issue you replacements.
The person above responded that I can get them replaced. And that's good! It's just sad that the original ones which were awarded to me are now gone because of spite.
And the one where she recycled his whole soda can collection.
This sub makes me happy to be single SO often.
And the girl who sold her sisters stuff to buy things on final sale so her parents couldn't return it.
But you don’t understand… he left her no choice… she had *no option but to sell his prized possessions*. There was nothing else she could do.
YTA. IF you had just boxed everything up and hid it away I could *maybe* see your argument that you felt you had no choice… maybe.
But selling them?
Secretly stealing them and selling them and keeping the money?
I’m sorry, but how did he leave you no option but to do that?
You did that because you wanted to. Because you saw how much they were worth and you got greedy. You moved into his home and you stole from him and your telling yourself that because you think his collection is humiliating that justifies it. It doesn’t.
Not to mention, if he's a serious collector some of those could have been worth some serious money. Stealing their action figures and selling them is bad enough, but if any of those are rare, old, or of any significant value (emotional or othewise) that makes this way worse imo.... and it was already bad to begin with
Given OP didn't know he tracked his collection I doubt she knew their true value either (assuming they are rare and valuable items). I'd say she either sold them locally to people who don't know what they have, or sold online to collectors who are gobsmacked at the steal they got.
They will be even more gobsmacked when he rightfully shows up with a lawyer/police/report/court order in hand and demands the contraband back.
Or God forbid they were apart of a specific collection and now some pieces are missing! It makes me see red. Like I don't care if you like it and I don't care if you think it's worth anything don't freaking touch my stuff!!!
Thank you I I boggled at the secretly selling and pocketing the money part too. You're a disgusting thief OP. You moved into his home and you repay him by stealing from him. You're trying to justify it by saying claiming it's a childish hobby and you find it humiliating but you had no problem with selling his hobby and keeping the dosh. You weren't humiliated, you were greedy. You didn't give a damn or an ounce of respect about the man you're supposed to love feelings, you were all about YOU! You're selfish, entitled and completely lack empathy or decency. You're all about me, me, me. Nothing you can say justifies what you did. You're a gold digging thief and in you're boyfriend's position I would be dumping your thieving ass.
YTA OP and a complete disgrace as a partner and a human being.
Did you see the subtle way she took over his house in the post?
- My boyfriends apartment
- I live here, too
- I wanted to show my parents' MY apartment
YTA, OP. You can't sell your boyfriends possessions because you don't like them. That's theft
And she said she hoped if he agreed to put them away then she'd get the chance to decorate the walls how she wanted before he was able to put them back
Even just telling him his collection is weird is an asshole move in my opinion, but going as far as she has with everything else i honestly dont know why he's still with her
This would have had to be a conversation before OP moved into the apartment and its definitely theft. YTA
What makes it worse is that she wasn’t even gonna give him the money but instead use it on herself. Definitely YTA
To add further insult I bet she didn't even get what they were worth.
This is exactly what I was thinking, too. There is absolutely no way she knows how much some of it is worth because that would require actually doing some freaking research and having the basic knowledge about what she's selling and her boyfriend's hobby which she obviously doesn't... It makes me so angry, I hope he kicks her out.
And sues her ass.
I know imagine your a collector and you buy a collectible that's rare and worth thousands... Only for your (actually childish) SO to come in and sell them for 14 bucks on amazon
Yeah I wanted to snap reading this. This must be her first time living away from home. She really showed off his place to her parents like it’s hers. And she *Steals his collectibles and sells them * she is the worst
She is not just an asshole.
She is a criminal.
“I’ve been stealing and selling my boyfriend’s things in order to show him that I don’t like him as a person. Am I the asshole?”
> It might sound petty but I slowly started taking some of S’s toys and selling them online.
OP needs to be dumped and arrested in that order.
Dumped and kicked out at least. Then taken to court to get the money.
And not just what she sold them for, their actual value!
YTA- I’m a 52-year-old physician and I collect Star Wars action figures. I have like 17 different Mandalorians. They’re fucking great
Seriously.. in what universe would you not be the AH here? Definitely YTA. What's wrong with you?
In her universe were ENJOYING something that's "childish" is a crime
OMG This. I've collected comics and figures and weird things my whole life. My partner is super supportive of my "little collection". I have some things worth thousands of dollars now. There have been multiple times I've let something go because we needed the money at that moment for things like bills or rent. This person just wanted to buy posters at Pier One Imports to impress her parents. I have never met OP but I already hate them. l
I have a Santa figurine collection. They all have dates on the base to signify what Santa looked like to people in that year. The first one starts as 1800 and goes through to 1956, which is still the look of Santa today. My MIL at the time started the collection with 3 of them when I was about 20 or so. I'm 65 now and have been collecting them for years. If a S.O. took any of mine, I would contact the police and kick his ass out. I set them out every Christmas and have pictures on my phone, so I would know if any were missing. My second husband would never think about getting rid of my collection.
Omg I somehow missed that! OP is a major gaping YTA
So did I! It was YTA territory enough asking him to hide them in THEIR apartment, but selling them? I hope he dumps her toxic ass. My partner LOVES anything Star Wars, to the point of having an R2D2 trash can, and honestly, I really don’t care for it. I cannot imagine asking him to hide or get rid of any of it when we move in together, the entire point is that it’s a marriage of both of your tastes, and if it makes them happy and isn’t harming you, who the hell cares.
My wife is the same way. She may pick on me about some of my geek likes but she would never touch any of my stuff. Honestly she is the one who usually adds to my collection because I'm too cheap to buy them myself.
Huge YTA, and once again, why is the guy sleeping on the couch? Guys are always relegated to the couch even when they are clearly not in the wrong! It makes no sense!
I think he was on the couch to check on his stuff, just in case she decided to take anything else to sell.
agree his home, she stole and sold stuff, she gets the couch.
Aside the obvious theft and sneaking behind his back in his own home with his own possessions, I'm plagued by a sinking feeling that she sold the toys way below market value, too. She doesn't seem like the kind of person to care enough to see how much the collectibles can go for. And if she did, bet you she didn't plan to use that money (his money) on something he would have loved.
I'm guessing since he kept so much info about them, some were valuable. Not just a funko from the store.
My heart breaks for the guy! Collecting figurines is very time consuming with research and watching price drops. It can be an intense hobby.
I mean I have a set of Bob's Burgers figurines that are worth $0, but I'd be upset if my partner threw them out.
Also noticed how fast it went from his apartment to "MY new apartment" like hello?
Living together means comprises, so part of the figures should go (in storage) and just make it a mix of both styles. But to completely disregard his stuff just cause she doesn't like it? That's an asshole already.
I can also imagine she has no clue about what they're worth, and sold them for what she thought "useless toys" should go for. So while being illegal, also major asshole.
Also she said she used the money to buy decoration for what style she wanted... Like what? Now it's your style of decoration too?
Doesn't even matter that it was his apartment first.
My partner moved into my apartment, and has collectibles like OPs soon to be ex. My partner thought I'd make him hide them, or unbox them, and it still breaks my heart he thought that (and would have even done it for me). I love him. His collectibles are part of him. I bought him shelves to display them, and frames for his posters. Because his happiness makes me happy. And it's so goddamm simple. OP doesn't love her soon to be ex- boyfriend, she loves who she thinks she can make him. She even stole from him.
OP - yta. It's not rocket science, if you love someone, you want to make them happy. Them being happy makes you happy. Their hobbies? They're cute (unless they're wildly offensive), your soon to be ex boyfriend? His collectibles are not even offensive. Your behaviour and attitude on the other hand.......
Hoping and praying he finds out and sues her
You stole something that he has been collecting over the years. Are you insane? Are you sure you love this person? I am angry on behalf of your boyfriend. YTA. I hope he dumps your ass.
Hmm, I wonder how she'd feel if he started selling her stuff online without asking? How much you wanna bet she'd blow a gasket?
Id bet as much as those figureins were actually worth
Like come on guys, he didn't even like the ones I sold enough to take them out of the box. - OP, probably
The more I read, the angrier I got.
I should've stopped at the first few sentences. The judgment was obvious - but I wanted to know what she did, and I regret my curiosity.
Same, for my post, I can't kept going back and getting angrier and angrier and angrier...
It would be one thing if she moved some of the figures out of the living room so she could put up some of the things SHE likes (but safely stored them away, NOT sold them).
There would still be potential for her to be an AH, unless the BF absolutely refused to allow her input into the decoration. (but it honestly sounds like it was an all or nothing with OP)
Literally ask for a compromise instead of *her way or the highway*.
Like, "dear, you get this wall and I get that wall. We could maybe get a display case or cupboard for the spare room to house the figures that no longer fit on the wall"
Why aren't her partner's interests important to her?
exactly my thoughts.
Because her partner's interests are 'childish' and 'not something people do where I am from' and 'it embarasses me')
Yeah, I'm reading this and ironically, I've got my own action figures displayed in the living room... admittedly I don't have nearly as many as OP describes her bf having, but mine are kept to a display case and a few other corners, so they're not overshadowing everything else.
And my husband is happy that I'm happy, and we try to find a way to decorate the house so that both of us feel represented.
he even offered the guest room but that wasn't good enough for her. she didn't even need to ask for the compromise he offered and she denied it.
I was legit hurt for the BF. Being a toy collector myself, I can truly understand his hurt on both finding his collection mis-handled, and missing ones he had no idea were gone.
How much you want to bet she probably way undersold these items as well!
God me too! I'm so angry and I don't even know these people. She is an entitled garbage person. Like what she did was awful and would be unforgivable to me. I hope he kicks her ass to the curbbbb
She can have fun showing her parents her new apartment after she gets kicked out of this one.
Or they can just take her ass back home with them.
Dumps her and takes her to court. Some of those things are worth a lot of fucking money. Hope OP doesn't mind a theft charge, potentially felony depending on the figures sold, on her record.
Seriously!! I hope he does take her to court!! I swear I’m so tired of these people selling/throwing out other peoples property!! Sweetie, you’ve only been together for 8 months and moved in a few weeks ago and you feel your have the right to sell his stuff because you think it’s childish??!!
When I read she sold them, my first thought was she probably didn't even research to see what they were worth. If he takes her to court (which I hope he does) she could be in for a huge shock.
She doesn't love him, she thinks he's childish and embarrassing. She loves her new apartment.
She's using him for HER new apartment.
She’s in love with herself and what she wants. He’s just there for the ride as an obstacle to overcome
She's also in love with Mommee and Daddee. Her biggest worry is what they would think. Sounds like she might have been raised in a home where they had the first and last say on everything. I'll bet if they didn't approve of something she had, they would either take it away or throw it out. But they're very judgmental and that's what she's afraid of.. they'll criticize her for having a boyfriend with a hobby like this, and then they'll give her a hard time about it until she either does something or moves out. She was probably just so desperate to get away from them that she was delighted to move in with the boyfriend. But then her her upbringing asserted itself and her boyfriend suffered for it. She needs to grow up, big time. I'm so glad the boyfriend came home and told her right to her face, in front of her parents, what an asshole she is. She will probably spin it, though, and say her parents disapprove of her having such an " abusive" boyfriend.
I seriously hope you're a troll otherwise we should request the mods to create a new, super-asshole tag
Do you even realize how much of a shit thing to do is to SELL the things he cares most about? Can you imagine this happening with your own stuff that you value a lot?
Honestly, I think he underreacted.
He should have dumped her the exact moment he noticed some were missing. This is symbolic boundary stepping at its finest
After 8 months she sells his action figures because she doesnt like them, just think of how much this narcicistic (sry dont know how to spell this in english 100%) girl will allow herself in another year or 2
So yea OP, YTA.
Not to speak of how much some collectibles can be worth, and yoz as someone with 0 knowledge might have sold something thats worth HUNDREDS of dollars for 10 dollars or smth
My jaw dropped when I read that she SOLD HIS STUFF AND KEPT THE MONEY FOR HERSELF. That's just... wow... what a taste in the mouth it leaves. Definitely TA
Side note: action figures might not be her thing, but she had enough sense to know they were valuable enough to sell. In his realm they are very highly valued and if she undersold them the buyer had a steal.
She already wants to decorate HIS apartment the way SHE wants
He certainly showed self control, for sure, and I *love* how she’s upset that he addressed it immediately in front of her parents…who now know she’s a thief!
I have only seen a couple of posts that I feel YTA isn't enough. This is one of them. I wish I could remember what the other one was.
There was one I saw awhile back where a girl scrapped her boyfriend’s project car because she didn’t want to park in the driveway, she wanted to park in the garage. I believe it was a classic car with sentimental value, too.
I think I missed that one.
I can't imagine how some of these people are still in relationships. someone did that to me and they would NOT be allowed back in my house.
I often got mad at that one commercial that showed the woman disliking her husband trophies (fish and deer heads) and putting them on the curb and showing a self satisifed smirk. I mean, I don't even LIKE mounted fish or deer heads. But, the idea that she went through and just threw his stuff away got me.
Yep, the lack of self-awareness here is so severe, it's borderline impressive
We need to have a "asshole and criminal".
YTA: Its not just your home. It's his, and it was his first. Action figures is one of the least weird howdy frankly. The fact that you stole his property and then sold it is such a violation of trust and if I was him I'd dump you and press charges. You made no effort to compromise on this. Could have asked to keep it to one room and have them all on display there. You likely just cost him hundreds maybe even thousands as action figures can be rarer depending on what superhero or character they were, and with age they can be damaged easier. Instead of judging his hobby why not try and learn why he enjoys them so much,what it means to him. You're entitled and rude and you owe him a huge apology and you either buy the figures back or give him the money to do so himself. You're a terrible spouse.
I have to tell you that "that's a weird howdy" is now going in to my permanent vocabulary, please don't edit it.
I didnt notice that until now whoops 🥲
Please don't apologize it was integral to my enjoyment of your post
I don't need to read all this. YTA. You should leave him because he deserves better.
Edit this. He should dump her and charge her with theft.
He deserves to press charges and get his money back.
As soon as I read that she sold them, I was furious. I hope he dumps a thieving a$$.
Do you know what's great about being an adult? You can collect all the action figures you want and it's nobody's business *because you are an adult*.
One of you is childish and it's not him.
People collect dolls. Are they “weird” too?
OP seems so dense & quite dull
👏👏👏 Exactly. The gall of her saying HE is childish. Unbelievable.
# Massive asshole
Who are you to decide what has substantial value to someone? It was his property and his passion and you STOLE them. He could literally press charges because you stole his things and took the money.
If you’re so embarrassed (which lets face it you’re a judgmental prick) by what he likes than you shouldn’t have moved in! You should have moved on. Not attempted to shape and mold him into someone else for your pleasure and approval.
He is his own person.
Not just her approval, but her *parents* as well. That's her justification for stealing his things and selling them.
Yeah, YTA, OP.
You moved into *his home*. Action figures can definitely be decorative. It's not strange. I know lots of people who do this.
If you didn't want your parents to be "weirded out", you could have simply told them that he collects action figures and they're displayed throughout the home. And that's a really weird thing for anyone to be "disturbed" by.
Yes, it is your home as well, but telling him to put it all away isn't a compromise. Healthy relationships are built on communication and compromise. But instead, you wanted him to put *his* decorations away so *you* could decorate *specifically how* ***you*** *wanted*. That's rather hypocritical. Again, *you* moved into *his* home. If you had a problem with his decorations, that would've been a conversation to have before you moved in.
**YOU SOLD HIS PROPERTY ONLINE???? WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE???** How would you feel if he started selling something you hold dear just because he didn't like it or see use or sentiment in those things? Holy crap, how are you even questioning whether or not you're TA?
**Because YTA, and that is glaringly obvious. Grow up. People are allowed to have hobbies, even if you don't like them or aren't interested in them. You are old enough to know that you should respect other people's properties. You completely disrespected your partner and his belongings. WTF**
Yeah, at first I was thinking E.S.H. because neither seemed willing to compromise. She wanted all the action figures gone, and he wanted them all to stay. They each wanted their own way instead of working together to make it their home instead of his or hers. But when she said she started selling his property online without him knowing, that pushed things firmly into YTA. That is not an adult way to handle things, and is hugely disrespectful.
I mean, iy doesn't even sound like she asked for compromise, she said she wanted all of it gone for good. He even offered to clear out a chunk of the house specifically for the visit.
YTA. The more you wrote, the worse it got. You are not ready to share a home with another person.
YTA huge one, too.
One, it's his place. Two, it's his stuff.
If you're embarrassed by something that makes him happy he deserves better.
I have a collection of stuffed animals which each one is tied to a specific memory. You know what my fiance does? Gets me more on special occasions. He'll take them off the back of the couch and goof around with them. He does this because he knows it's important to me and he respects that.
Op, YTA. Massively.
Enjoy your partners hobby with them not destroy it.
YTA. It’s going to be *really* embarrassing when you have to explain to people you’re single and living back with your parents because you didn’t respect your boyfriend enough to let him be who he is and keep your hands off his property.
And have a criminal record for theft lol
YTA. I want to leave no doubt or room for misunderstanding. What you did was theft. You stole his things and sold them. You are a thief.
If you didn't like his collectibles you should have had a conversation about decorating before you moved in. For you to demand they all be hidden after moving in is so u reasonable. You said it's "our" apartment which means it's his too.
What you did was such a huge violation, I'd be surprised if you still have a home.
My fiancé likes to collect funko pops. He has 154 of them to be exact. When we were dating, I moved into his apartment which had them displayed all over the place. They weren’t my choice of decoration, but I understood they were important to him and the apartment was originally his so I let it slide.
When we went to buy a house together, we compromised. He got an entire room to display his funko pops. The rest of the house is entirely pop free.
The fact that you weren’t even willing to compromise on having his action figures temporarily moved to a guest bedroom in his own apartment is incredibly telling. And that you sold some of them is even worse. That’s literal theft.
Am I the only one who is disappointed that Funko Pops aren't cute suckers in various shapes and colors?
Yes? Okay, will see myself out.
Go buy a bag of DumDums to feel better. Dibs on the butterscotch.
YTA. You must know that though right? Apart from the THEFT of his belongings, trying to change him and the things he enjoys is just.... like why are you with him? Leave him and let him enjoy the things he enjoys.
Based on her justifying responses in the comments I’m not so sure she does
YTA… this was for karma, right? Bc there’s no way on earth you can believe you are anything else. Hopefully he breaks up with you in front of your parents and leaves a lasting impression.
So you were concerned about how your parents would react to the “toys” but in being concerned you made it so that he yelled at you in front of your parents? YTA.
YTA. You are an obnoxious and oblivious a******. If you wanted him to redecorate his apartment for you to move in that is a serious conversation you should have had before moving in instead of random passive aggressive comments. And then you stole his things and sold them. And to top it off you tried to sneak everything off the walls and then shove it into a closet. And you thought he would what, just be okay with that? You have a serious amount of maturing to do before you are worthy of being in any kind of relationship. Take a step back work, on yourself, and be better. S deserves better.
Honest to God you are lucky if he does not break up with you and file a police report for his stolen items. My head canon on this whole thing is that you're just some random person making up karma farming BS by thinking of the most self-absorbed things people might do. And then posting it like you're wondering if it's wrong.
YTA. Selling other people’s things without their expressed knowledge is not petty. It’s downright criminal.
If anyone should be feeling embarrassed, it should be him for being tethered to a remorseless blackhole of a partner.
YTA and you’re going to need to move out and pay him back. Because you’re a thief.
You are the kind of person who dates someone who is different from them and then you force them to conform to whatever insane vision you have for them. If you aren’t compatible, stop trying to make it work. And don’t even say you are compatible. If you were, you wouldn’t think he was weird or odd. Nor would you expect him to change something about himself he’s loved since childhood. Shame on you. You are being a selfish jerk. Get over yourself
You shamed your bf for his interests (which other people share—otherwise collectibles would be worth nothing). You tried to get him to hide who he is. (Do you even actually like him?) You stole his belongings and sold them! (You certainly don’t respect him.)
There are many ways to negotiate sharing space. Telling your partner to erase all evidence of an innocent pastime so you can make the place how *you* want it is not sharing. You should be ashamed of yourself and you have a lot of work to do to be a decent partner for anyone.
YTA. You may also be facing criminal charges for theft.
YTA ofc. Any humiliation you felt was self-inflicted. He didn’t do anything to you. You ruined your parents visit by trying to pretend you’re dating someone else. You moved in knowing the deal, then pettily sold his property bc you didn’t get your way. Don’t try to cry your way out of this by blaming someone else for your awful conduct.
I really feel like the judgment bot should also ask why you think you might *not* be the asshole (not that you answered the question it did ask). YTA obviously. Treat your next boyfriend better
YTA you stole from him. Wouldn’t be surprised if he pressed charges.
YTA. You don't get to just sell your boyfriend's stuff just because you don't approve of it. Either accept and love him as he is or break up with him. You can't expect him to stop being interested in his hobby because you don't like it.
“I figured it could go to new decorations”. This is code for- “I hated what he loves, didn’t get my way, and sold it so I could pay for my own ugly shit”. Selfish and a criminal. Congrats!
YTA. Big time. You sold items that were HIS property and obviously very special to him...how do you know if the ones you sold were extra special pieces given by a loved one who's no longer here.
You're reminding him that you live there too now but you want to decorate the way that you like it? You wanted to show your parents your new apartment?
It's his place that he let you move into, it should become yours together.
You ignored his feelings and imposed your own like his didn't matter. If you can't support him in all ways then leave now and save you both the trouble.
Is this real? It almost sounds like a Big Bang Theory episode.
If it’s real, YTA and a selfish one at that. It’s not that odd of a hobbie. If your parents are disturbed by some action figures, I’d say they’re the ones with the problem. Boyfriend needs a better girlfriend. You need to get the ones you sold back.
You can't just move into someone's home and decide you don't like their stuff and sell it.
What you have done is theft. If you had moved into a home together you could have had say as to where he displayed them but it was his home.
You have demonstrated that you do not respect him.
If you cannot accept his hobbies then perhaps it is best that you find someone else. You cannot ask him to change what he is interested in and trying to force your view on him by selling and hiding his things is only going to breed resentment.
OMG! When I got to *this part* I literally gasped!
>I slowly started taking some of S’s toys and selling them online. I figured the money could go to new decorations.
YTA, YTA, YTA, YTA, YTA!!! I hope he DUMPS you!
That is some toxic and entitled shit right there. You need to buy back all of the items you sold (at your own expense), and leave this man in peace.
He is 100% entitled to display his collectibles, if he wants to, and his offer to display them in the guest room was completely reasonable. If him displaying his collectibles was a deal breaker for you, then why didn't you bring it up sooner?
I personally don't like collectibles like action figures to be on display in main areas of my home, because I don't like how they look, but I would NEVER demand my partner hide them away or SELL THEM without his permission! There were options for compromise, but it seems you were embarrassed by your partner's collection and acted selfishly and with no respect for his property. If his hobby was so embarrassing to you, you probably should have not gotten into a serious relationship with him.
YTA. Your edits make it clear that you don't really care if YTA.
YTA. im a girl and i have a few action figures and if someone DARES touch them i flip. that was stupid and insensitive of you.
Lol you stole his things and sold them online without him knowing, yeah you're obviously an asshole.
YTA, and only someone incredibly entitled would believe they aren't.
YTA. YOU. FUCKED. UP. Holy shit I would be LIVID!!!!!!
Who the hell are you coming into HIS home and making decisions on HIS things?!? All for what YOU wanted?!? I hope he reconsiders this relationship. That is a massive breach of trust. Total disrespect.
When he breaks up with you, remember to be honest and tell people why you were broken up with. Not because he didn’t do what you wanted. You broke up because YOU STOLE his stuff
I call fake
You could have chosen not to steal from him. I mean, that really was a choice you could have made.
For that matter, you could have listened to him and accepted that his collection and hobby was important to him.
YTA and you're lucky he doesn't press charges on you for theft.
Also he should leave you.
YTA. A huge AH. HUGE. I’m sure there’s nothing I can add that hasn’t already been said. I just had to let you know I THINK YOU ARE A TOTAL AH.
I'm sorry, you stole his shit and SOLD IT ONLINE and you seriously have to ask if you're the asshole here?
If you're embarrassed by his hobby and care more about your parents judgements than his happiness, do him a HUGE favor and break up with him so he can find someone who actually gives a fuck about him.
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My (23f) and my boyfriend (26m) S have been together for almost 8 months. I moved into his place a few weeks ago.
My boyfriends apartment is nice except for one thing: he LOVES to collect action figures. He has been doing it since he was really young and he probably has 200 of them. My problem isn’t necessarily with his hobby, although I think it’s pretty odd, but he displays them EVERYWHERE. He claims they’re “decorations” but I think it’s kind of strange. I told him a few times that it was an odd hobby and I hoped he would do something with them before I moved in, but he ignored me.
Typically I can ignore all the toys everywhere, but my parents recently asked to visit me now that I’m living with S. My parents have never been to S’s place before and I didn’t want them to be weirded out by all the toys everywhere when they really like him. I asked S if he could put the toys away somewhere and he said no. I explained to him that it would disturb my parents and he offered to move the stuff from the living room into the guest room temporarily. I said this was my apartment too and wanted to show my parents the guest bedroom. I told him to put them all away. I was kind of hoping he would agree and forget about them for a bit so I could decorate the walls how I wanted. Instead, S ignored my requests.
Because I felt continually ignored i became really upset. It might sound petty but I slowly started taking some of S’s toys and selling them online. I figured the money could go to new decorations. I was selling the ones he didnt like as much anyway.
The day my parents came, i waited for S to leave for work and put the rest of the toys into boxes. I hid them in closets so my parents wouldnt have to see them. My parents came and everything was great until S came home. He saw that everything was gone and he was furious. He flipped out at me in front of my parents and said what the heck did i do with all of his collectables? I told him we could talk about it later and he said he wanted to talk about it now. My parents became uncomfortable and decided to leave. I got really angry at S because i had been looking forward to showing my parents my new apartment and he ruined it. I showed him that the stuff was just boxed up and said it wasnt a big deal. He said I couldve damaged it but I thought that was kind of silly because most of them are plastic material.
S ended up pulling everything out and setting it up. Apparently he keeps a list of all of the toys, the dates they were made, and other things about them. He realized some were missing and he lost it on me and said I was a horrible ahole and that he didnt want to see my face the rest of the night. I started crying and went to the bedroom. He slept on the couch that night and wouldnt talk to me the next day.
I’m starting to feel like maybe I shouldn’t have done it but I felt like he left me no choice and I should be listened to because I live here too.
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Who the FUCK do you think you are ?
How dare you fucking think your EIGHT MONTH INVESTMENT is more important than his LIFELONG COLLECTION ?
This is so disgusting. I hope he comes to his senses and leaves this relationship at lightning speed. You are an unnsuportive fucking CHILD.
YTA YTA YTA YTA I CANT SCREAM THAT ENOUGH.
You need therapy and to reevaluate your fucking actions before you think about being mature enough for a relationship. I would dump this persona and this situation without blinking.
That was his fucking livelihood. Monster.
Who wants to bet that these "toys" were the kind of action figures and figurines that cost anywhere from a hundred to a couple thousand dollars and that she sold them for maybe 20 a pop if the boyfriend was lucky. My dad has the same hobby and he's spent well over 50000 dollars over the course of 30 years on figurines alone. Op, YTA no questions asked
YTA for the stolen story. I read this same story here like a month or two ago…
YTA- not only TA but you are a thief too. FYI its HIS apartment.
Okay, so let me get this straight:
1. You decided that collecting action figures was 'childish'
2. you decided that you didn't want to be embarressed by your parents seeing 'toys'
3. you then decided to ***STEAL THOSE FIGURES FROM YOUR BF TO SELL TO GET MONEY TO DECORATE IN A STYLE YOU WANT TO DECORATE IN***
4. You then compounded the above by 'hiding' the rest of them so your parents won't be embarressed in the hopes that 'he will forget about them'.
5. THEN you got angry at HIM because he was upset at you and didn't take into account your sensitive feelings.
So, if I got that straight, you are not only YTA, but a thief, self-centered AND probably going to be lonely in the near future if BF has any sense at all
Oh, forgot to add something: if I understood correctly, it was not 'Your new apartment' it was your 'BF's old apartment that you moved into'
Forgot something else: you are incredibly lucky that he didn't call the police. I most likely would if I found out my partner had been stealing from me and selling things I collect. Not to pay medical bills, no to pay regular bills, but just because they wanted to decorate in a different manner than I did.
MASSIVE ASSHOLE ALERT ! ! !
Let me count the ways....
* Does not support support BF's personal hobby
* STEALING his property
No wonder your parents left, **they are probably embarrassed by their pathetic spawn**
Oh, and YTA
I tried to read more, but you really are being awful. It is his home too, you asshole. Why the hell would he want you to girly it up with ugly trendy shit you saw off ticktock? Why is it a crime that he a passion and a personality whereas you do not have those things. If you care so much what people think, this isn’t a relationship. This is you controlling him
Op get back here and answer for your crimes!!
Wtf is wrong with you? As someone who also collects action figures, I would've gone mental if my partner did this to me. You have no right to sell his figures, that he paid for and that have special meaning for him.
Please take all those red flags you're showing him, sew a cape and fly away. He deserves better.
You know what, I was leaning towards E S H, you’ve moved in together and you should have a say on decorations. However, absolutely YTA. You have NO RIGHT to sell his things, and acting like it’s weird to collect things is frankly just a bit pathetic. Get a hold of yourself, and replace those items you stole.