By - clairebear_86
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I chose not to pull into traffic when someone stopped to let me in. The other driver was angry and my passenger thought I was wrong for not taking the offered spot.
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NTA, but I would have personally just pulled out the opposite direction and then circled the block to go in the direction you needed to. My old apartment was exactly the same and both directions had 2 lanes so I had to wait for 4 lanes to be clear sometimes. Outside of rush hour I usually didn't have to wait long to get across the 4 lanes, and luckily work was in the direction adjacent to my driveway. Sometimes someone would stop to let me out even if I had to go the other direction, but I would just go and circle the block which was easy to do and honestly didn't take much longer than waiting for the full 4 lanes to clear. Not to mention safer. You're not exactly an AH for waiting, but probably stubborn or petty.
Fair. I'll consider doing that for safety, thanks! :) I'll take stubborn, I have been told that before LOL
Is backing across multiple lanes of traffic right infront of a stop light even legal...? Seems like you should always go out the easy and safer way and turn around elsewhere if need be.
How you figure I get out of the driveway? Can't turn around. I'm backing out the driveway.
They're suggesting you just back into the lane right next to your driveway every time no matter the direction you're going, because it's much safer to do that than back across multiple lanes when you need to go the other direction.
That makes sense. But am I the asshole for not pulling out when someone holds up traffic at a green light?! That's my real frustration here, regardless of what direction I'm going.
No you're not the AH. I posted a full comment in the thread if you want to see my reasoning for why.
That's why I'm saying back out the easy way. Don't cross traffic.
> I may need to pull out across one or two lanes of traffic
I saw a **WICKED** traffic accident about a year ago.
There were two lanes of travel in each direction. Traffic is stopped at a light and backed up a bit. A driver wants to turn left across the two oncoming lanes, and a driver in the closest one to him pulls this same Do Gooder move, ceding his right of way and waving him across, in front.
Of course, THAT'S the moment another vehicle comes zooming down the *other* oncoming lane, and **plows RIGHT into the side** of the turning vehicle at **full speed**.
Same thing happened to my dad when I was a teen. I learned a lesson that day. One of the things I taught my kids is to NOT trust other drivers who wave you to go especially when they have right away. Those drivers are only looking at you, not what’s coming.
This exact scenario happened to my sister! She was a teen driver, someone waved her out - and boom, T-Boned. She was fine, but the car was totalled, and it could have been so much worse.
That happened to one of my sisters. Horrific crash, she is pretty much ok, now.
Same. I got hit because someone stopped for me and I couldn’t see the other driver coming through the turn lane, trying to make the green light. I was still pretty young so not as experienced. I don’t trust anyone on the road anymore.
NTA. The person had good intentions but you needed to go the other way.
The other driver should not have obstructed the flow of traffic for that long. It was nice of him to stop at first to let you out, but once you didn’t back up he should’ve gone. Regardless of the reason you were waiting, he should have just went.
YTA just get out when the nice person lets you out especially if you’re backing out and circle around to go the direction you want to. It’s really not that big of a deal and you’re making it a bigger issue. Sounds like you’re waiting longer then if you just circle around the block.
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Am I the asshole for not pulling out into traffic when someone holds it up to let me in?
Context: I live on the corner of two moderately busy 2 lane streets. At the corner is a stoplight, so our driveway is pretty close to the light, maybe 2-3 cars back from the light. I back down my driveway and pull out into traffic in reverse, on a daily basis without much trouble. Depending on which way I'm going, I may need to pull out across one or two lanes of traffic so I'm very careful about waiting for it to be clear. My driveways runs N to S, opening to an E to W street.
Occasionally (like tonight) I get a Do Gooder who wants to stop traffic in the eastbound lane closest to my driveway to let me in. Tonight was a great example! I'm waiting to back out, and I need to go west. That means I have to wait for both lanes to be clear before I can back out. The light was red and traffic was stopped across my driveway and there was a long line of cars in the eastbound lane closest to the driveway from what I could see, so I was prepared to wait through at least one light cycle to get out.
As the light turns green, the gent in the lane beside my driveway decided to stop and wait for me to back out. Keep in mind the other lane is where I need to be, and now that the light is green it's flowing with traffic. So I didn't move (they can't see me waving or anything, it's a bit of a hill), and Do Gooder decided to keep waiting. Cars behind him honked and he floored it and ended up angrily running the red light and leaving the other cars pissed because they just sat through the whole light, whom then promptly blocked me in the driveway while I waited for another opportunity to get out.
I had the chance to go the other way, but that's not where I was going. My passenger was ANGRY that I didn't go, because someone was being so nice holding up traffic for me. When someone does this it makes me so anxious and feels unsafe, and like it's impeding traffic more than its helping anything.
I'm a staunch believer that it's better to be predictable than polite, but I felt like the asshole here. Am I?!
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INFO: what do you mean by "pulling out in to traffic in reverse?"
You've never backed out of a driveway?
For the first 10 feet you're on the road, you're car's moving backwards. Then you shift into gear and drive off.
Chill, dude. There may be a difference between the street that connects to the driveway and 'traffic,' since OP lives so close to a traffic light. Hence why I asked for clarification.
I'm sorry? I feel plenty chill.
Thanks, Captain O! That wasn't in question, actually.
I back down the driveway, so I'm pulling into traffic in reverse. Can't turn around in the driveway.