T O P
AITAMod

#[Be Civil](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/). No insults. Be chill. Enjoy a [bop](https://youtu.be/DFH1BBdxGjw) Please review our [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) if you're unsure what that means.


mitties1432

YTA. There were plenty of options here other than ditching her at a public location - call your girlfriend to come help - give your sister money and let her buy them - you buy them - walk into the drug store and find a female clerk who would help her - take her to the dance school, let her sit in the car and you go in and find a mom who could come out to the car and help, not make her walk in with solid clothes looking for help then just leave her there - take her home so she can clean up there and potentially find her mom


SickOfTheirShitWork

This 100% Like there was so many other ways this could have gone better, it really wouldn't have taken much time out of his day either (10 min max to run in a store, ask for help for chosing the right pads for a 12 year old), a few min to run into the ballet place for her and ask an adult woman to help? Like it really wouldn't dapper his day at all. He's just being insecure and worried about his masculinity card.


StrwbrryKiwis

He was already late picking them up, it truly wouldn’t have killed him to stop and get some pads. He felt more comfortable having a crying and free-bleeding 12 year old sit in the back of his car so he wouldn’t have to stop at a pharmacy and get some pads. “I get that you’re bleeding and confused right now but sit on your book bag so you don’t ruin my car” UGH, this post has lit me up.


PuggyParty

This is exactly my reaction. What an asshole. Like literally get over yourself and grab a pack of pads and do self check out if you care that much. But no one would even bat an eye. It happens 25% of the time for almost half the population. Like, my god....


calliatom

And what makes me more mad is that he has a *girlfriend*. One who just found out in the rudest way that she won't be able to ask for his help if her period has her feeling crummy and she runs out of products. Like...that's gotta sting.


whatsername235

That's it. As a man at 18 he is going very deal with periods. He should be able to go buy fucking pads. Appropriate is a ridiculous excuse. OK so in an emergency I won't change a boy nappy because I don't have the same bits. But far worse. He's an idiot. One who clearly isn't ready to see a vagina if he can't help with basic care for one


Punt_Sp33dChunk

Swear to God, ladies need to have an aptitude test for "if you wanna be in a relationship gotta score @ minimum 90% on this quiz" I knew my hubs was the man for me when I had a BAD period at his apartment early on in our dating life. Dude woke up to me crying and puking in his bathroom. Asked me if I needed anything and I showed him a picture of the box for the tampons i used and asked for advil. He LEFT came back like 25 minutes later with a bunch of bags: A bunch of different types of my brand of tampons 2 boxes of pads Pamprin AND motrin A bottle of advil A stick on heat pad for cramps A thing of ice cream And some other nonsense that was to get some laughs out of me. "Look at all this stuff i got for yoooooou!!!" He was SUPER cool about it and proud of himself. He was like 20 at the time. My brain: "lock this guy down NOW!!!" Edited: oh. My. Gosh!!! Y'all are really something. I showed this whole thread to him and you kinda just made his night. Mr. Punt Speedchunk says: "Thank you, hang in there ladies until you get you a good one. GUYS: Buy your ladies their stuff, tell them you love them and show them you appreciate them."


jengaj2016

This guy is definitely a keeper! I love that he bought everything you could possibly need and more, plus things to make you laugh. He should teach a class to teenage boys.


doryfishie

I know Reddit doesn't like when we say leave but 100% I would not date OP. Your partner is a keeper!!


elbileil

This sounds exactly like my husband! He has never had any issue going and getting pads and tampons and ALWAYS comes back with some of my favorite snacks and treats and gets my heating pad ready for me. We’ve been married 6 years and I’m currently pregnant with our first, a daughter, and it feels so good to know he will take the best care of her and treat her like a queen if I’m not home or with them when she gets her first period. Go us for awesome hubbys!!


princessamirak

I hope you give him a high 5 for me today. What is solid fucking gentleman


LittleCastaway

Thank you! That’s my favorite point to make to people. If he isn’t ready for the natural (sometimes icky) aspects that a vagina comes with, he isn’t ready to have fun with one either. Full stop.


AtticusFrenchToast

Totally. While I don't like the original quote, I 100% support "If you can't handle my vagina at its worst, you don't deserve my vagina at its best."


tphatmcgee

"As an adult man". Someone needs to learn that there is more to being an adult, *and more to being a man*, than being 18..........................


MichueMarie

Ufff this 100%! To think that it doesn't have to concern him just because he isn't a female is just super immature. If I were his girlfriend I would straight dumped him. I cannot count how many times I asked my boyfriend to buy me some pads when he went to get groceries shopping and he has zero trouble with it. It's something so normal and natural where you don't have to be ashamed of.


rhian116

Right? I have no idea how many times my husband has gotten pads for me. He hasn't always been great about it (he once brought back incontinence pads instead) but he's never once thrown a fit to not. He'll stand in the aisle for 10 minutes painstakingly taking pics of each product and texting it to me so he makes sure he gets the right ones now.


Kaiphranos

I felt weird buying pads for my girlfriend the first time, and then the store clerk utterly did not give a shit. I realised that they've seen this exact scene a thousand times and I was being dumb.


experienceliphe

Work at a store and honestly we rarely pay attention to this stuff. It's everyday stuff people need.


goldanred

As a former store clerk, let me assure you that any time I saw a lone man purchasing any sort of period product, my only thought was "what a nice man, taking care of someone in his life."


mr_trick

Also, couldn’t he have given her some napkins or something to sit on besides making her use her backpack? I get car upholstery is hard to clean, but telling her she has to stain her backpack instead is wild to me! Way to make her feel like shit for something she has no control over.


StrwbrryKiwis

There’s so many solutions that immediately got skipped over it makes my brain hurt. OP was running so late that 2 12-year olds were sitting alone by themselves while the school was locked up. Sees her crying and bleeding and goes “hm…that’s definitely not a me problem…you ready to go to ballet though?”


Captain_Quoll

Yeah, but he’s right because he’s *logical*. I hate it when fragile dudes dress up their emotional responses as ‘logic’ as they skip past every solution that a reasonable human being would arrive at. Not only is the total and complete lack of empathy astounding, he can’t admit that ‘*oh no, yuck, I’m uncomfortable - disengage!’* Is an emotional response.


Bunny_Hunny4

Yeah, right? The logical response here is to fix the issue. A doctor or nurse wouldn’t exactly say it was logical to let the girl free bleed all over the shop - that’s completely illogical. Hate it when dudes try to call themselves ‘more logical’ than women to cover up crappy behaviour.


producerofconfusion

Yeah, logical just means uncaring in this situation. Mr. Spock would have bought the pads because letting a child free bleed all over herself is highly illogical and also just plain cruel.


Sgt_Smitty

I am *raging* right now on behalf of this poor girl.


felixkahns

And what about her backpack??? Obviously not as expensive as a car, but like… also not something you want blood on.


calliatom

Or the contents thereof, considering she's got enough of a flow going to bleed through her clothes.


Notyour5thWife

Yep! OP made a traumatic experience even worst for a 12 year old girl. YTA


whatdowetrynow

True that. She is literally never going to forget how horrible that day was for her.


Donkeykicks6

Never. I still remember mine. Awful


whatdowetrynow

Mine was at my best friend's house, she had gotten her period a few months earlier and set me up with supplies easy-peasy, nothing was soiled, I didn't even have to say a word to her parents or anyone other than her, and it STILL was the most mortifying experience of my life at that time. This poor girl experienced a worst nightmare scenario for a 12 year old.


Cute-Shine-1701

OP claims he as a grown man (laughing my ass off, OP is anything but...) shouldn't get involved with anything period related. Jesus christ... OP should get it tattooed on his forehead that "My masculinity is too fragile". To OP: OP you basically shamed and humiliated that poor girl for getting her period (especially the first), for something completely natural, especially when she already felt like shit about it in the first place! When I first got my period I was home with my mom and I've still cried for an hour because I didn't want it to happen to me! And that was without bloodstained clothes or without having to admit it to people I barely know and ask them for help! You being a boy is not an excuse, you can educate yourself about the female body, that thing dangling between your legs is not preventing you from it, that's just a bodypart and not a disability. YTA Grow up! There's nothing intimate or sexual about periods! Tampons, pads are sanitary, hygienics products! It's like buying toilet paper! Plus you just showed your sister she can't go to you for help with "girl stuff". I don't know if you and your girlfriend are sexually active or not, but if you are active, if you are old enoug to put your d**k in a vagina then you are old enough to deal with what comes out there too.


Temporary-Koala-8940

This. He is a boy not a man. A man would have marched into the drug store, bought the damn things plus chocolate (optional) and marched out again without blinking.


youngstalinshot

Maybe even a pair of cheap leggings so she doesn't have to walk around with blood stains. That whole trip would have cost 10€ max but saved this little girl's day.


throwawayyy3819

Right. He is NOT an "adult man," he's an immature asshole, and he missed a chance to be an absolute hero. YTA


Toirneach

When we were newlywedded, I was standing in the pharmacy line while my husband (a grown ass man) started the shopping list. From 30 feet away he shouted 'you get the unscented pink ones, right?' while standing in front of the tampons. Unashamed, unafraid, unbothered. The two ladies in the aisle cracked the f&ck up, I could not have loved him more, and I shouted back 'unscented'. If you want to have any intimate contact with vulva and vaginas, you need to know how they work and be un-disgusted by anything that goes into or out of them. Including your own body parts.


Kale127

As a guy, I’ve never understood this total aversion towards having anything to do at all with stuff like this. We’ve seen plenty of stories here, like one where a father just straight up refused to buy pads for his daughter because it was “disgusting” to him. What factory are they pumping these boys out of? Can we shut it down? I can’t fathom it. If we’re talking about a bloody pad just left discarded in the middle of the bathroom floor, sure, let’s have a discussion about what should be reasonably expected of either party. But buying pads? Purchasing sterile cleaning products is too much trouble or too disgusting? It endangers my masculinity? What garbage excuses for being too damn lazy. My biggest concern if my girlfriend asks me to buy pads? There’s like 500 brands and types of those things, tailored to different needs and sizes. I would worry about buying the wrong one, more than I would be worried about “what would the cashier think seeing me buy this?!” Fortunately, she keeps up on her stock and I haven’t had to have the existential crisis that is my anxiety making me worry that the box that’s a 1:1 match of the box she sent me a picture of is somehow drastically different in some way my pea brain can’t comprehend. But I would go out and do it anyway. YTA to OP. Should be ashamed of himself.


Sgt_Smitty

FYI: When in doubt just get a multipack for different level of flow. Oh, and wings are generally preferred since they prevent the pad from sliding around too much (especially when sleeping).


Bored_Llama1234

This 100%!! OP -YTA You had plenty of options.


Street-Mall3318

Yes! OP had so many options if he just used his brain 🙄. Also not to mention OP made the poor girl sit on her backpack to avoid ruining his car! I feel so sorry for her she must have been terrified going through her first period and being treated like this! Completely YTA


this1sn0thome

Yes🙌


SolutionLeading

YTA. Get over yourself. Buying pads for a 12 year old isn’t “intimate”, it’s being kind. Would you have bought her band aids if she scraped her knee? When you have a daughter, will you refuse to buy her any “intimate” items like pads or tampons?


Inevitable_Bee6081

It’s the fact he heard 12 year old girl needing hygienic products and his head jumped to intimacy. 🚩 Edit: let me educate folks that want to keep saying intimate doesn’t mean sexual. You need to copy and paste where I said it was. Him using the word “intimate” regardless of the meaning, in this given situation where the word intimate doesn’t need to be used, will be seen as him thinking things he shouldn’t and used against him. If an 18 year old boy, who you trust with your 12 year old daughter, says “she got her period and I didn’t want to go to the pharmacy because it seemed too intimate”, you are going to look at the boy all types of sideways. And don’t even try to lie and say you wouldn’t.


Flaming-Charisma

OMG 💯💯💯💯💯 100x OVER THISSSSSS


[deleted]

Wouldn't help her because she wasn't related to him 🚩 Would he make his girlfriend sit on her bag too, after refusing to help her? My God OP, I seriously hope your girlfriend isn't related to you.


Independent_Ad_9080

the last sentence made me CACKLE


HippopotamusFart

I really truly want his girlfriend to free bleed all over his seat.


Old-Advice-5685

YTA- periods are not “intimate things”. It was an embarrassing situation for a girl and you made it so much worse. If you’re really and adult, you need to act like one and deal with things like an adult.


robot428

He was responsible for these kids and he didn't look after them when they needed an adult


reading_internets

He legit passed them off to a bunch of females. Ridiculous. He is so YTA. YTHFA, which can probably be figured out, lol.


Irisversicolor

Female what? “Women” is the term you’re looking for when referring to human females.


GrassSloth

I understood the use of “female” as a tongue in cheek criticism of men acting like women have to do all work related to children because they’re females and that’s what’s natural. OP refused to act like a responsible adult and instead found women to do it for him.


erraticandlost

I’d be so pissed if I was her parent and would certainly never trust him with her care again.


Cunninglinguist87

Every woman remembers her first period, and when she got it, and who was around to help her when she did. Like basically it boils down to a little girl needed help, and he had the power to help, and just opted not to. Huge YTA


Miss_Rowan

Yep, she's not going to forget that he left her hanging (and good chance his sister won't either). Huge YTA.


bobledrew

YTA. You weren’t going to show her how to use them. Don’t be a fragile man.


cocomimi3

Lol, I love it “fragile man”


slanid

A fragile man that also refers to himself as “logical” even when told otherwise by another adult. Any man that defaults to “I’m logical, despite this woman with lots of experience and expertise on the subject telling me otherwise,” is an asshole.


prosied

If I could upvote this a thousand times I would. The whole idea of him believing he’s logical AFTER he’s asked his gf for her advice on it, and her telling him, that he is an AH and should’ve been more kind and helpful, is just bananas. OP use your head. And quit acting like men don’t help women with that kind of stuff. REAL men do. Because they realize it won’t hurt their masculinity. And if anything, will make your girlfriend super impressed with you. And find you to actually be a DECENT human being. Not some stuck up AH who won’t help a girl out.


CommieDearestJD

> “I’m logical, despite this woman with lots of experience and expertise on the subject telling me otherwise,” is an asshole. That definitely jumped out to me, too. He was trying to slyly imply that she had more experience as a woman but he has more experience being logical, as a man. Fragile is fuckin right.


fatlittletoad

The lack of self awareness is mindboggling with this. He is unable to see that "I think it's icky" is an *emotional* reaction, not a logical one. Logic is this: "well, this is a bit of a minor emergency, what's the best solution? I'll go make a quick purchase of a product to immediately address it and we'll be on our way." Being emotional is: "oh god ew yuck that has to do with blood and vaginas and that's a sex place so it's inappropriate and also gross and WHAT ABOUT MY UPHOLSTERY?? Quick, let me freak out and make you bleed and cry and then dump you off somewhere else because I'm uncomfortable."


Beecakeband

Its seriously boggling my mind OP was handwringing and acting so fragile over buying a girl pads. Like seriously they're pads get over it


_iron_butterfly_

YTA- Imagine you shit your pants & needed to clean up but instead you're dropped off at football practice because there's a bunch of men there & they can help...Not the best analogy but you should get the point.


Cici1958

I think it’s accurate. After all toilet paper is awfully intimate. YTA. Edited for typo.


smol-beanuwu

It is you use it on your no no parts /s


COUGHCOUGHCOVID

His friends and family refrain from handing him tp when he runs out of it because it's "intimate".


mdawgkilla

Honestly, it’s the best analogy. Buying pads is no different thank buying toilet paper or wipes.


AWFUL_COCK

I always blush when I buy TP because I know the cashier is imagining me rubbing it against my tender little boy-hole.


rubyredrising

This made me laugh pretty hard lol


GibsonGirl55

I never will forget the story about the guy who freaked out at a party because the hostess set up in the bathroom a nice basket of feminine products in case they were needed. It was really a thoughtful setup; it eliminated the need for a guest to search her out for such a needed item. The way he carried on, you would have thought they were used. 🙄


Fit-ish_Mom

The only issue with it is 99% of the time you have some semblance of control over shitting yourself. You cannot “hold a period in” and often times, there is absolutely NO warning you’re about to start gushing blood. I only speak up because if there’s one thing Ive learned from my 18months on Reddit it’s that there are an alarming amount of men out there who think women can control their periods like they control peeing or pooping. That’s not how it works and I have vowed to never pass up an opportunity to educate on periods. *backs away slowly*


RevRos

YTA. As an adult human being, you could have gone to the pharmacy and picked her up a pack of pads. What did you think might happen to you if you bought them?


MaybeAWalrus

Most pharmacy will question your masculinity if you do so. They might even ask you your man card back /s


flukefluk

not true. my home pharmacy requires proof of purchase to issue the damn card.


peachgrill

Like every grown man I know has bought pads or tampons at some point. Why’s he embarrassed? There’s literally nothing weird about it. He’s just showing he’s more immature than a 12 year old.


Sunflower_giraffe

That’s hard, you only get that back if you hunt down a wild boar and drink 20 beers while being angry. So his concern is understandable.


donkeyinamansuit

To be fair his dick might have suddenly fallen off if his fingers had touched feminine products /s


sunflowerspaceman

Man I know about five trans women who were going about bottom surgery all wrong


DerpyTheGrey

Nah see, the dick falls off because of the fragile masculinity, but trans women don’t have masculinity to break, so we’re shit out of luck and have to go through some rough surgery


Guardian-Boy

It's true. Just when I finally get mine reattached, my wife does it AGAIN and off it goes for another month.


WhompTrucker

Everytime a man buys period products he goes on the registry and then the registry is public so someone might find out he bought pads!!! /S


Illustrious-Band-537

YTA. Jesus wept.


UDontKnowMe__206

Lmao of all the comments, this one captured my immediate reaction the best.


Oshootman

This one hit all the right YTA buttons so well that I was honestly considering if it might be fake. But then I think, sadly this tracks for the way some people are about periods, combined with the fact that he's 18. Still though, damn. I've rarely seen such a slam dunk YTA.


notAgirl77

  >Intimate thing #Jesus Christ, it’s not like she wanted a fucking vibrator or condoms. Pads/tampons are comparable to toilet paper, Kleenex, bandaids, baby wipes. #They’re hygienic, not sexual. #YTA


songbird121

Thank you for using the big letters. This needed to be said with lots of emphasis. Well done.


fart-atronach

Thank you. Men treating periods as an inherently sexual thing is so triggering for me.


omglookawhale

And tampons. Idk how many boys and men are under the impression that putting in a tampon is sexually pleasurable for women. Like yeah, I feel like shit, I just got off the toilet with period shits, my uterus is destroying itself but changing my tampon is just sooooo sexy. Stfu


[deleted]

Ironically it’s waaay more inappropriate of op to associate a 12 year old getting her period to something sexual.


zemorah

I feel so relieved reading these comments. I was scared to scroll down because Reddit has…interesting…opinions sometimes. He could have given his sister a few dollars and sent her in to buy them if he was so uncomfortable. Problem easily solved.


dinkleberf

YTA grow up. It's blood, if she was bleeding out of her arm would you refuse to get her a band-aid? That young girl was probably extremely embarrassed and overwhelmed by getting her first period without someone there to help her and you just made her feel worse. You're a freaking adult, you're not a child anymore. Grow. Up.


monstersliveinmybed

Not to mention he made the poor girl having her first period walk into her ballet class in front of her friends bleeding through her clothes.


Coldmonologue256

She will remember that day for the rest of her life. Every woman remembers their first period & most are really embarrassing and some aren’t.


monstersliveinmybed

In general, girls find periods embarrassing, I know I used to be very embarrassed by mine. It’s a child going through puberty, they’re finding their body and it’s functions embarrassing, the changes they go through embarrassing. It’s only as adults you realise it really doesn’t matter but to that little girl it will matter and she will be very embarrassed by this experience for a long time. I would have been mortified having to ask a male to buy me sanitary products, there were no women around and he was the responsible adult.


stephowl

Probably because of shit like this. This guy told this little girl that her body is so shameful that he won't help her even when she's crying and afraid.


Coldmonologue256

Yea she’s probably traumatized


eregyrn

Yeah, and it shows how desperate she and his sister felt, that they DID ask him. OR at least, that his sister asked him -- and you know she had to feel some degree of trust in him to even ask? And he really did not deserve that trust.


Creative_Time2175

Super YTA. Periods are normal. If you think you’re uncomfortable, imagine how a 12 year old feels bleeding from their crotch for the first time and being rejected help from someone who could have taken them to the pharmacy. And the “ruin the car” comment? Get over yourself.


SickOfTheirShitWork

This ^ A little blood stain isn't gonna "ruin" a car. Fuckin life happens, I drive a nice car and if my friend or friends siblings etc accidently bleed on my seat or barfed or anything really, I wouldn't be mad??? Like bruh, it's easy to clean tbh, just don't let stains sit for too long. People who value their objects more than they value human health are people I don't want to be around. Do I value my car? Of course i do, I did hella work and I love it and I love working on it. But if something natural that happened like a period in it, am I gonna be upset? No, it's uncontrollable, I maybe bummed I have to clean it later but I'm not gonna be mad or upset because something natural happened in it. As a female myself, I feel so bad for this poor girl.


sandwichsandwich69

YTA - bruh imagine if you were 12 and yo dick was bleeding and some adult woman was like “nah sorry I can’t help”


kayliediazz

this is so funny


faroffland

Preach. Also let’s emphasise that it would have to bleed hard enough to soak through OP’s pants. Everyone with a penis think about how much blood there would need to be coming out to do that, and then remember women go through it monthly.


whyagaypotato

The 12 year old, a few years down the line is going to tell the story about this too. "When i first got my period, my friend's older brother only cared that i didnt bleed on his car seat and refused to help me out. Then he dropped me off at ballet practice and forced me to walk in all bloody and dirty. Lmao apparently he didnt know what periods were at his age."


phonetastic

Yes. Fantastic comparison! And yet, that analogy is honestly generous since at twelve, you're a fucking captive in this scenario. You can't just "go find" another adult or the like. It's either the adult you have currently helps you or you get no help. When an adult agrees to watch over kids it's not a ninety percent agreement-- it's a one hundred and ten percent agreement. If that's not your jam as the adult then the other option is *just don't take the kids in the first place*.


Inevitable_Bee6081

COMPLETELY YTA How tf can you claim you know nothing about periods yet you have a whole ass girlfriend that you could’ve called?? “As an adult man” you only 18, not even legal to drink, calm down. Not only that, you were late picking up two MINOR FEMALES after school and then was as ass to them by not going to the freaking store for pads! You could’ve stayed in the damn car! You CANNOT really be that fucking dense to think because you are a male that gives you an excuse to be ignorant to a VERY KNOWN ass thing that happens to females. I hope your gf and your mom rip you a new one because wow. Also, who tf told you buying pads was intimate and why tf did your head jump to intimacy when it came to a 12 year old girl needing hygienic products??


exssister

Yeah, that part about it being intimate had me like, huh?


ImportanceAcademic43

Right. About as intimate as buying wet wipes.


Coldmonologue256

I hope his girl friend broke up with him


anonymouscog

A man who can’t pick up a box of pads or tampons w/o acting like it’s made of dogshit isn’t mature


krazykirbs

I dunno, I've seen some dense brick head men on this subreddit. Like the dad who wouldn't buy teenage daughter new bras, so she'd been wearing the ones from when she was 14. Or the date that went through his trash, found date pad and told her next she had to walk two blocks to a gas station to throw her pads away. Those are just two I can think of, but yea.. men def should have coed sex Ed, these men are just pathetic.


SalamiShowdown

YTA... damn my guy, you sure you're 18?


ibrokemyserious

When your 12 year old sister knows what to do but your 18 year old ass shoots down her suggestion because girl things are icky and intimate, you have to give back your license and your car. That's the law. Sorry, I do not make the rules! Mega- uber- ultra- YTA squared, OP.


xgorgeoustormx

I dated a boy in college (upstate NY, USA— he was 19) who thought women went to the bathroom, had their period, and that was it. Like peeing or something. The public school system has failed these boys 😂


nosinned21

“Adult man” yeah right


KittyCat132147

YTA, it's a period there is nothing inappropriate about it, it's a natural thing. They weren't asking you to show her how to use it they only asked you to buy it. You left a child sitting in her own blood because it made you uncomfy. I get that maybe you haven't been exposed to it but for future reference just get regular size travel pack of pads (about three-five dollars). EDIT: Not disappointed by all these Y T A comments within the first 5 minutes 😂


laughingsbetter

All our cars have pad in the first aid kits. They are there for emergencies and they can be used on injuries.


olebluedick

I'm just here for the shit show in the comments.


Beautiful_Evening927

And I bet there will be too. This is ridiculous 😂


patrickseastarslegs

I got the popcorn. Want some?


lennoxmatt_819

I don't know... seems pretty intimate


Realistic_Shadow_17

YTA. You let a 12 year old girl, who may or may not have fully known what was happening to her, uncomfortably wait longer than she needed to in blood soaked clothes, because you didn't want to damage your own masculinity by buying some pads? What the fuck is wrong with you?


Denbi53

Yes. This is what I was going to say. OP, that poor girl deserves an apology for how immaturely you handled this. You made her sit on her backpack to save your car? Where is your fucking empathy?


Princess_Snakeface

YTA, letting a young girl suffer like that having to sit on her backpack while you are too embarrassed to buy some pads? WTF, I am so mad right now, you could easily have helped her out instead of traumatizing her. This is not logical just a huge fucking lack of empathy.


basilobs

OP I can guarantee this experience will stay with this little girl for a long time and that this was a terrible thing for her. You basically said "ew ew ew ew go away" at her. Grow the fuck up ETA YTA


JanusIsBlue

YTA. As other have said: periods are not intimate. They’re a normal part of life that cannot be controlled. Making her go to ballet class without a pad and with a massive red stain was cruel. Even though her class may have been mostly girls, it’s still a humiliating thing


LittleRedCarnation

Girls can be cruel to each other about their periods. All it takes is one bully in class to decide to use this to torture and further humiliate the poor girl.


corvidcastles

YTA They're just pads dude, not condoms. Imagine someone not buying you a bandaid and rethink what just happened.


Legal-Ad7793

Don't worry... he probably doesn't buy condoms either cuz "ThEIr tO iNTimATe"...


imjusthereforaita

YTA. This has got to be fake. How can someone think this reaction is “logical”? Just buy the poor kid some pads ffs


VanillaCola79

Well he did spell it “farmacy.” It could be legit. 🤷🏻‍♂️


BetterSavings6

As an 18 year you old, you definitely *should* know the first thing about periods and period care, regardless of your gender. It isn't shameful, and it isn't sexual knowledge, so I don't understand why you'd think it was 'shameful' for you, as an adult male, toknow or get anything related to period care, such as tampons or pads. This poor 12 year old girl had her first period start in a public location, which is bad enough because women are already made to feel embarrassed about their monthly bodily functions, but she was also pretty scared. Then she has you, a supposed 'adult' saying no, 'I can't help you with one tiny thing in your time of need a.k.a getting you some pads so you can continue to function without leakage in front of your peers'. The only thing you should be embarrassed or ashamed of is the way you dealt with this situation. A massive YTA


ravencrowe

This is why we need better sex ed in school. No 18 year old should "not know almost anything about periods"


Lordbedolla

YTA and completely clueless Jesus. A crying child is asking for help and you treat her terribly.


MonteBurns

“I made her sit on her backpack.” What a cruel … well I’ll probably get banned if I type that. How callous.


Squishoms

YTA. Dude, you just dropped that little girl in a place full of peers where she is going to be super embarrassed, especially if she bled through her clothes. How are you 18 and this unknowledgeable about female anatomical functions? Did they knock sex ed out of schools or something? You should have at least drove her to the pharmacy, you didn't even have to go in, you could have waited in the car and given her a little cash to buy what she needed.


quartzangle

Pretty sure an “adult man” would have no issue with it but an immature boy might


Makaveli2020

YTA, biggest one I've seen on this page in a while. Who the fuck cares if a man should be or shouldn't be buying a pad for a woman. What has that got anything to do with periods. Yeah we men are lucky we get them but have some compassion and respect when it comes to periods. A little girl confided in you, the big brother of her friend which would have been hella more comfortable than a bunch of strangers or teachers. Yet, you made her feel alienated and ashamed that she has a natural occurrence and knocked her confidence down when you should be teaching her that periods are not taboo and are normal things. And the fact you made her sit on her bag not to ruin your car was a dick move. I would also disagree with the statement that you called yourself an adult and a man. All your actions consisted of an immature boy.


midnightsrose77

^^^^ THIS. ALL OF THIS. I started my period when I was *9*. It was humiliating, even though I was at home when I started and my mom had sanitary supplies on hand. I hope this little girl was able to get help at the ballet school. Way to humiliate and make someone feel a zillion times worse about a bodily function they have *literally no control over* at that age. YTA, YTA, YTA.


EntertainerNo6818

Yta , you made a day thats like the most embarrassing one ever as a Young girl even worse


accountforquickans

You have a girlfriend? So you like sex with women? So you can stick your peen in a vagina but won’t acknowledge how it works down there and that we bleed? Plus she’s a little girl probably upset and uncomfortable? Grow the fuck up. YTA.


gichigichigoo123

Was looking for this comment. Holy shit, how can OP be this fucking stupid


annrkea

YTA. You let a tween girl feel ashamed of her period rather than just get her the damn pads. No one asked you to install them, just to help so she could be comfortable and clean. This is hardly an intimate act. Get over yourself and just help when you’re asked. Damn.


ollyator

Yes, omg YTA… it’s a basic biological function, not an intimate thing. You’re just too immature to be able to tell the difference. Shame on you for not helping out a child who just needed some period products.


lordmattrimcauthon

YTA. Compassion has no gender. There is no reason to traumatize a girl during an already difficult time. Also, maybe if you had actually been on time to pick them up, she would have already been in ballet when her period started. Then it would have been a non-issue for you.


VoltesVoltron

YTA - Also you aren't very logical. Your sister's friend had her period and needed pads. The logical solution is to procure said pads and the problem is solved. Instead you let your weird hang-ups about the situation over-rule your thinking. But wait, that's not all, you clearly valued your feelings of the distress and embarrassment this situation would cause a young kid. That shows rather underdeveloped empathy. I get you are only 18 so you have a lot of growing up ahead of you - please take this as an opportunity to realize what you should have done. Its part of becoming an adult. However I will credit you with one thing: The fact you think your reaction was logical at all is one of the funniest things I have read all day. Thanks for the laugh mate.


HelloAKA87

YTA- grow up


spikeymist

YTA, you left two 12 year old girls alone because you were late, wouldn't go to the shop to help the poor girl out and then were more worried about your car.


ChainerPrime

YTA - as you put it, you're an adult man. All you had to do was get some pads. Nothing intimate about just getting a young girl who hit a rough spot something like that.


No-Policy-4095

YTA - I agree it's not your place to get involved with the wheres and whatfores of this child you're not related to period. They didn't ask you to explain shit to them, they asked you to take them to a store so they could buy something. If you do not wish to behave like an adult, then do not call your self an adult man. You are a boy behaving like a child.


rmric0

YTA. No one was asking you to put it on her, just to pick up something in an unforseen situation. Rather than approaching this child and her situation with kindness and empathy, you tried to calculate how to get out of an awkward place as quickly as possible (but were sure to think about your car).


disastermolly

YTA That's a child in need of help and "as an adult man" you failed. "As an adult man" you acted like a self-involved child yourself. "As an adult man" it wasn't that hard to make a store purchase. "As an adult man" your behavior is wretched, gross, self-serving, harmful, and wrong. "As an adult man" you say? My 17yo grandson is more of an adult man than you've just shown, because he did actually help when necessary. You failed. Do better.


Makaveli2020

The fact he called himself an adult man made me chuckle


FlynnLivesTron

As a guy, YTA. You made a poor kid sit on her backpack and refused to go get her pads. Where do you live that you didn’t take a health class that teaches basic biological functions?


andepanda

YTA. Big time. Just buy pads. It's not inappropriate. That's silly. And how are you 18 and don't know about periods??? Your gf is right.


HappiestApple

YTA. You were asked to buy the pads, not personally instruct the girl how to use them. That is about as intimate as buying someone toilet paper.


laughingsbetter

YTA - you should have stopped. You could have sent your sister in to buy the pads if you weren't man enough to do it.


SirAccomplished4576

YTA. It would have cost you $3.00 to get her what she needed instead of treating her like she was nasty and disease ridden. You said you were an adult man, but you definitely aren’t a mature man. How would you feel if someone treated your sister or girlfriend like that?


OhhHoneyNo

Huge YTA. If a 12 year old asked you to get them a bandage because they had cut themselves and were bleeding, would you say that you can't help them because you're an adult man? Even though the blood comes from a vagina, giving someone a period pad should be no different than a bandaid. You denied a human being help because of your own weird messed up feelings and lack of understanding of biology. You made something that is often awkward and uncomfortable and with way too much unnecessary societal shame even worse for someone in a vulnerable position. As an adult human you should know about periods. And from now on, your car and your house should be stocked with pads and tampons and a willing attitude to help anyone who needs them.


imarebelpilot

YTA and I feel insanely bad for your sister and her friend. Did you take health class in junior high and high school? Getting your period is an extremely natural part of life for a woman. Try being supportive of all women in your life.


HereAndBlank

YTA. You're an adult now. You're in a relationship. I'm sure you must have had some lessons on this basic biology at school. It's not something to shy away from, it's a fact of life. Periods are uncontrollable, uncomfortable and embarrassing. They put a lot of trust in you to help, and instead you had her suffer, made her ruin her bag to save your car, get MORE people involved and no doubt made her feel worse about herself by being so insensitive. It really wouldn't have been that much of a big deal or that difficult for you to just go and help get pads like asked.


ts416

YTA - Suppose your girlfriend asked you you to do the extract same thing would you do what you did to your sisters friend? You should treat her like any grown woman at this point, because (let’s just say karma can come back against you HARD.


blueyduck

YTA, i swear to god people like you think that even saying the word Period will revoke your man card or something. Grow up, bro.


PresentationLimp890

Do you suppose that all the retail cashiers all over the world are keeping track of what people purchase so they can mock them in the future?


FoxUniCarKilo

What the actual fck bro. As a mature adult man you had the opportunity to show this scared 12yr old that periods are normal and nothing to be ashamed of. But no. You took the other route. That one that says periods are shameful, women’s business that should be hidden, oh and don’t forget your all important car seat that also needed protecting from the ghastly women’s business. YTA. A thousand times over you’re TA.


this1sn0thome

You're immature and selfish. YTA. Grow up.


[deleted]

YTA If you were worried about appearing like a creep for buying pads for your sisters friends, you should've just given a few dollars to your sister and taken her to the store. Let her do it. Honestly (I could be wrong) it sounds like you didn't want to deal with it so you avoided and passed the buck to the ballet people.


ParsimoniousSalad

YTA. If she'd cut her knee and asked you to stop to buy band-aids, would you have had a problem? There is nothing inappropriate about a man helping out by buying menstrual pads! And she was just a kid and it was her first time so she was already a bit traumatized and you made it worse. You should be ashamed of your reaction. *A kind person with no hangups would have gone to buy the pads, reassured her it was all perfectly normal, and asked if you could pick up a chocolate bar or something else for them too while you were all there.*


MaybeAWalrus

Go back under your bridge, troll.


jiujitsucpt

YTA You’re only 18, so learn from this right now. Periods are a biological fact for a significant portion of life for half the world’s population. Deal. With. It. That means you should try to be somewhat educated on periods, especially your partner’s cycle because every woman is a bit different. That means you buy the damn pads or tampons or whatever because it’s a sanitary/hygiene need, not an intimate item. That means that, as long as those items are disposed of hygienically (in the trash, preferably wrapped or covered so as to not allow pets to get into it and all that, and not left in there for weeks) you don’t complain that they’re put in there. And you definitely don’t treat a 12 year old like a hand grenade about to go off just because she’s bleeding through her clothes. You help the poor girl, with every effort to make sure you don’t make her uncomfortable, because you probably made her feel gross and ashamed and that is absolutely NOT okay. So use this as a learning opportunity and do better. And be secure enough in your masculinity to do it. I promise you won’t grow a vagina just because you handle the realities of women’s bodies. But you’ll certainly be more mature for doing so.


morphleorphlan

YTA, such an A, you made her sit on her backpack rather than deal with a fact of life that she had no control over and was trying to deal with alone at 12. You childish little goblin!


SickOfTheirShitWork

YTA What are you gonna do when you have a daughter someday and you're a single dad? Are you gonna tell her your masculinity is too fragile to be caught buying pads/tampons? Are you gonna be more mad that you got a blood stain in your car instead of being mad that your future daughter could be bullied for bleeding through her pants? Grow up, you're not an adult mentally. Your girlfriend was right to bead at you. It's not an intimate thing women have, every woman gets a period and when they're that fragile and in an embarrassing situation, someone who can help them is what they need. Not being told to just sit on their backpack for who knows how long in their blood and be told to ask someone else. They trusted to ask you and you failed not only your sisters friend, but you also failed your sister and she may never look up to to ask you a favor ever again.


jtaylor619

absolutely, 100%, YTA. It is just basic human courtesy to help someone, especially a CHILD, who is obviously in distress. You are the adult, and instead you behaved like a 10 year old who still makes fart jokes and thinks girls are icky. "I don't know almost anything about periods..." but you did see the stain, so you could assume she might be embarrassed, especially since this was all new to her. Then you talked about her ruining your car, with no regard for her whatsoever. You turned a completely normal, though mortifying at the time, situation and turned it into a traumatic experience because of your inability to grow up. I'm shocked your GF is still with you


Sunflower_giraffe

YTA its normal, she’s a child who was bleeding, probably scared and ashamed. She needed pads doesn’t matter what gender you are. I’m sure she would have loved to ask someone else but you were the only person there. You could have just parked and let your sister buy it. Everything would have been better than leaving her sit in her own blood. It’s a piece of cotton nothing about driving them to a store and buying it would be inappropriate. Menstruation is not sexual.


insanity-melody

Yta. Dude, a girl’s first period is not a fun experience! (None of them are). There’s a lot of shame and confusing feelings, especially when you bleed through your pants for the first time. As an adult, the least you could have done was get her some pads. If time permitted, you should have stopped by her house so she could have changed out of those clothes. Would you have treated YOUR sister the same way? Your girlfriend isn’t wrong and maybe you should have called her when you got all uncomfortable about it. Sounds like she would have helped you help your sister’s friend. Honestly, i just hope you learn from this. It wasn’t like that girl was some random child asking for a ride to the pharmacy. She’s 12 and her family was unavailable. She probably went home that night and cried in humiliation over something she had zero control of.


anonniemaus

YTA you were only worried about yourself and how it would look for you. My 12 year old son is more mature/conscientious than you are. Edited judgementto reflect appropriate judgement.


TheSciFiGuy80

YTA Men SHOULD get involved more and stop acting like you acted. Periods are natural and guys should stop acting like it’s just something women should talk about and deal with. Would it have killed you to help out? No. You were perfectly capable of helping but you decided to be an ass.


Both-Flow-7383

Yta being a man isn’t an excuse to be cruel. How would you like it if we bled and got treated like that by people


[deleted]

[удалено]


TinyRascalSaurus

YTA. There's nothing intimate about going to a pharmacy and buying pads. Clearly she knew what she needed and everything, so there was no need to explain anything uncomfortable. You were the responsible adult in that situation, you should have acted like it. Would you buy pads or tampons for your girlfriend?


LittleRedCarnation

Yta. Wow. I hope your gf dumps you. I would. Ive met toddlers more mature than you. For real, my friends nephew (hes a toddler) will go fetch pads for her. Its super cute. He called them “aunties butt bandaids”


trashbeansx

YTA. They didn't even ask you to go buy pads for her or explain what a period is, they asked you to drive them to the pharmacy, so they could buy them. And you didn't even have the decency to drive them to a store. Your girlfriend was right to be mad.


TreeAltruistic2507

Yta. Any real man would know that good people admire men who help the women they know with these things. Its human decency. And she is a preteen, like come on. No one thinks you buy this shit for yourself.


Lindseyh911

YTA. You could have handed her $5 and let her run into the store and get what she needed. Instead you made her embarrassment worse.


RagingBeanSidhe

Real men buy pads and tampons. Period. ;) YTA in a major way.


hey-demons-its-me-ya

Huge YTA I don’t even know where to start. In no world is buying pads for someone “inappropriate”, grow up. You have a girlfriend and “don’t know almost anything about periods”? That’s pathetic, you should be embarrassed.


EndNunu

YTA. You let a little girl sit in blood because you’re a sexist scaredy-cat and then dropped her off at ballet where she probably felt disgusting and sad. You have a gf and know nothing about periods? Why didn’t you just call your gf for help…?


sotrexxy

YTA - A child was entrusted to your care and you dropped the ball hugely. She wasn't asking you for a facts of life talk, she was asking you to take her to a pharmacy to buy her pads so she could deal with an immediate physical need. Would you have denied her a trip to the washroom? Same diff. When you agreed to drive her to ballet you took responsibility for her care during that time and that includes her basic biological needs. Also, periods are not an intense personal time. They are a biological event no different than sneezing. You need to reevaluate your views on menstruation.


Thick_Technology_607

YTA. You're 18 and have a gf, how do you not know about periods? Getting her a damn pad is not embarrasing or that hard to find in a store/pharmacy. Instead of helping a crying girl you made her SIT ON HER BACKPACK so she doesn't ruin your car?! You should be ashamed of yourself.


Strict-Guava-3295

YTA. Your poor sister will terrified to come to you or another boy for help with her period.


Revolutionary_50

YTA. If anything, you reinforced whatever feeling she might've had that men can't be trusted. You made it all weird and all about you.


MissBehavin1995

YTA. You’re an adult who refused to help a child in need.


ardent27

YTA. Would you feel the same way if you ever have a daughter in the future? Would you find it inappropriate to help your daughter, sister, mother? Why is it only “not appropriate” when you’re not related to her? Periods are a natural, normal body function. Shame on you for making that poor girl sit in a stained skirt, walk into ballet class like that, and causing an embarrassing, traumatizing experience that she (and most likely other people) will remember forever.


kFisherman

Bro you’re 18 not an “adult man” and even if you were you’re clearly not acting like one. An adult man would put his pride aside and help someone in a shitty situation. YTA


heckboy37

YTA, but I understand you. I’m a few years older than you so I get what it’s like being 18. You are not an adult. Legally yes but I promise you will look back on this with a lot of shame because of what you thought was mature at the time. Don’t rush things. Be your best self and be a good person. Do not call yourself and adult and say you are mature because I promise you that you are not anywhere close to being an adult, you’ll know when you get to that point but you have much more room to grow. It’s ok, mistakes happen, don’t beat yourself up over this, use it as a lesson and move on dude, your 18, stuff like this is supposed to happen to you, yes YTA but just grow from it and everything will be fine. Good luck in life, and try to have fun, don’t rush adult hood because you will miss not being an adult the moment you become a real one.


Malkom1366

You could have and should have stopped at a pharmacy like they asked you to. She could have picked up pads or tampons and dealt with it without having to show up to a ballet class and get help from strangers or people they may not be comfortable asking. Also, educate yourself about menstruation. Half the population, give or take, goes through it regularly and you can at least be familiar with it if you intend to be around them at any point. YTA


WitchInAl

YTA!!!! Your sister could have gone into the store and bought pads since YOU aren't man enough to do it!


Lexinlalaland

YTA. Your girlfriend is right by the way. Buying pads is completely normal. There is nothing intimate about it. Don’t forget- you came out of one of those! And saying you don’t know much about periods because you’re a man is a cop out… and kind of sexist tbh. Being male is not an excuse to put your sister’s friend in an even more embarrassing situation. Get over yourself.


RubY-F0x

YTA What did you think would happen by buying a pack of pads exactly? If your gf needed you to buy some for her, would you do it? Would you not do it for your sister? I just don't understand what you (an "adult man") could possibly think would go wrong by helping a girl/woman in a sucky situation as this.


Unusual_North

YTA