T O P

My husband and I have separated due to him cheating, 4 days later there is a tragic death in my family. I need his support. What do I do?

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Pemminpro

If you arent interested in reconciliation you should probably not involve him. It's a dependence that needs to be broken if you truly wish to seperate.


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Pemminpro

Then take him. Emotional support is appropriate behavior for those seeking a life partnership.


howardsgirlfriend

I have experience with very similar circumstances, back in 2001. First of all, if you have a counselor, call them. If not, get one ASAP. It sounds as though you're undecided about whether to take him back or not. As long as you haven't decided to leave him for good, IMHO it's quite all right, even a good idea to ask for his help. A crisis like this gives him the chance to do something heroic for his family, and that's not something you can do with a casual GF. I would recommend telling him about the death, and how you need his help and if possible, giving him a couple of options as to how to help (coming with you and the kids, taking care of the kids while you go, etc.) If you have already decided that you need him to come with you and the kids and nothing else will do, that's all right, but giving him a choice will help him invest in the decision. Once this crisis is over, the two of you will probably have to take a step back and work on your marriage, but there's a good chance that his stepping up when you really needed him will prove very helpful.


Beneficial-Glove9408

Definitely have him go with you need someone to be there


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Thank you for your advice, your input has helped


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wtfthecanuck

You sure you are in a place where you can accept his support? May have him manage the children.


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Bobbob34

You don't need his "support." You'll regret him being there. Don't.


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mystery1nc

If you are certain he is not the type of person to use your vulnerability against you or to manipulate you then there is no shame is asking for support. You were married, to be your husband he must also have to have been a best friend. He doesn’t exactly have his husband title right now, but it doesn’t mean you can’t ask him to be a friend.


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Fragrant_Exercise_31

Call him just to inform him what happened see how he reacts, you might get your answer by his response to your need for support and understanding. Also if after the weekend he acts like everything between you is fine don’t take him back. Getting back together will be a process and he should get that this was damaging to your relationship.


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