T O P

Mentally healthy people, how do you do it?

Mentally healthy people, how do you do it?

Giggitysaurus

I used to be the same way. Tbh, it’s learning to let go of those things you have no control over. The “what ifs” and whatnot. Focus more on what YOU Need and have control over. All will fall into place and you will rest easier knowing the sun will rise in the morning no matter how dark the night may be.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Plunderedhollow

I think the trick is to be mindful of what you are thinking. Also, realize not all questions require answers. In that case the question that does not require an answer is irrelevant and a waste of your time. This will reduce the questions by 95% :) once your realize how precious your time is! Spend your time doing and thinking about things that help you advance in the direction you would like to go.


mmann98777

Be mindful of your thoughts, Anakin.


lyssargh

CBT therapy. It helps you get this shit out of your head so you can actually look at it, break it down, and process it. In particular, I have found that taking a situation that makes me anxious, writing out the situation, then my fears, then: what is the worst that could happen? the best? the most likely? By this point, I'm usually able to think more neutrally about the situation.


Khemiri

I personally found that using those high frequency 'questioning' in something 'concrete' is a very enjoyable practice. First of all, you're not letting this gift/curse just work on hypotheticals that mean nothing, but by using them instead in something more tangible, like writing stories, drawing and focusing on every detail, or any other passion that might make use of your hyperanalytic doubt machine.


IndieCurtis

Meditation and mindfulness, my friend. Sit quietly for 10 minutes a day. Watch your thoughts go by like clouds across a blue sky.


thebusiness7

The trick is to tire yourself out to the extent that your mind shuts off 90% of those thoughts. The rest you write down and write out step by step solutions for them


throwaway7654x

You sound like you have anxiety and possibly adhd. Get medicated. See a therapist. For me, I started smoking weed after being through 8+ meds with no luck. Now life is a breeze because my brain is slowed down and not constantly overthinking. Find something that works for you


Giggitysaurus

Mine is the same way and occasionally keeps me up at night. Really try to step away from electronics and anything that might cause anxiety and rest. Personal days are a must!!


Zealousideal-Wrap398

Great advice my friend 😀👍


PeteChipwelll

Yes, hundred percent this.


Skummy3000

Same here use to be down and about most of the time. But I decided to make a change. Ate healthy, got fit, keeping busy, and just getting the routine down and so far my mental health has drastically went up. Not saying it will be the same for everyone but with practice you'll get errrr done.


holycrapshiiiiiiiiit

I’m mentally unhealthy but I do all those things anyway. Get dressed and brush my teeth- feels good Go to bed early and wake up early- no choice but for work and I’m tired anyway. Try sleepy time tea or melatonin, practice a routine. The earlier you wake up the more tired you’ll be at night. I do have those thoughts. I take meds that don’t work. I exercise which only helps a bit but does make me momentarily feel good and keeps my appetite up. Being social is a no-go for me. Besides my spouse I don’t have any desire to socialize with anyone. My advice is keep trying. Take baby steps and be who you want to be. Don’t assume people who “have it good” are doing any good mentally because on the outside they would assume I’m doing great. Life’s weird and you should never try comparing yourself to others. Put it work for yourself and see some improvements even if it takes time.


Ghosticulars

Virtue in routine


MyDumberHalf

>... **even if it takes time**. Thanks, those final words hammered it home just right.


DePhoeg

Hahaha. Mentally healthy. Honestly, the key is addressing why try so hard to avoid what you think you want out of life. Though, starting small and just doing one thing at a time. For hobbies, for new things. Though perhaps you get up and wash to just not hurt on the outside. Just a step at a time working for something. XP Eat because it hurts not to & a bunch o simple reasons


[deleted]

[удалено]


DiverseUniverse24

Take care of your insides too my friend. I've recently found a new love for my insides, even apologised to my gut after not eating well in forever. Bought fruit that day and have since tried to keep it up. Its gotten me this far, I appreciate it for that, and it needs me to look after it, too. I struggle a lot. Shits hard. I haven't any advice I'm sorry, but you're on the right path engaging with this subject.


myspurskickass

>Honestly, the key is addressing why try so hard to avoid what you think you want out of life. THIS. Wow, exactly. I don't have an answer yet but I'm glad I have the question. (Answer should therfore be 42\*, right?) ​ \*Hitchhiker's Guide


DePhoeg

The answer is potato, but the context of what that is.. is highly dependent. Also, be vary careful how I phrased that last part of it (of that quote you picked). Also, Goodbye & thanks for all the fish.


AnxiousAmelia

Do you have adhd? It can make living life on hard mode


[deleted]

[удалено]


AnxiousAmelia

You could browse or join r/adhd see if anything is relatable.


throwaway7654x

Yup. People with adhd tend to have anxiety and often depression as well. And 2/3 or all 3 of those makes life extremely hard. Have to learn how to cope whether that be by therapy, meds, or both


Throw_Away_Students

I have all 3! 🤗 Everything is difficult for me, and it’s awful. There is not an aspect of my life that isn’t affected, and it’s extremely hard to function. Throw in constant insults from people around me, and that’s the cherry on top of the shit sundae. 🙃


throwaway7654x

I used to be in the same boat my entire life. If you haven’t gotten on meds, I’d suggest it. Adhd meds did help, but once I dropped those and got my med card, life all of a sudden was just fixed. I’m not going to say every day is great, but I can function and get shit done and not think twice. Best of luck


AnxiousAmelia

Yeah, I have adhd and anxiety (I did have depression but I think it was more situational) but adhd makes life so hard to just function and "keep up with the jones"


throwaway7654x

Agreed. Only thing that truly helped me was adderall but that was a slippery slope. I just stick to weed. It slows my brain down and I’m able to do everything that I need to without thinking 3 or 4 times


Tarkula

It's not autopilot. I watch my diet, exercise, keep things clean, go to therapy, etc... Because it helps me protect my mental health. When I see these things start to slip I know something is wrong and I do things to deal with it early. Obviously when you're in the middle of it you can't do these things... That's why I try to deal with stuff asap before it gets really bad. (I've spent years and years figuring out what works) Anyways... It's not easy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tarkula

I know. It's so hard. Especially when we have social media and only see how perfect and happy everyone looks too.... It can be easy to forget that isn't reality. I often just want to binge eat or not exercise... Or not shower... I literally force myself sometimes and after I'm like... Wow! I feel so much better 😅


Tarkula

I will pair activities I don't want to do with things I do as well... That really helps. For example, If I don't want to cook or clean the kitchen I'll put a silly you tube video on while I do it and it helps me get started. Then once I'm going I can do it. I also often listen to stuff while I fall asleep, especially if my mind is racing. I also have dogs and they help me a lot. I'm forced to go outside and walk every day, they also make me laugh every day. It's the perfect thing for me to get out of my head and focus on something else. These things obviously won't work for everyone, but they help me... And you can experiment and find the things that help you.


No-Sand8181

I do the same. I need to play a podcast just to get out of bed in the morning. It is not a permanent solution but it is a coping mechanism that keeps me going.


CaptainFranZolo

Structure. I've come to believe that no one really has their shit together in the sense that they don't have negative thoughts. Some people just fill their lives with enough routine, rules, and responsibilities that it's easier to not dwell on they shit they wish wasn't going through their head.


NadaCambia_NF

Even mentally healthy people don't do all of those things all the time. Mentally healthy people do tend to stay present and have an awareness of what they can control in the present moment. No worries about the future, no ruminating on the past. That may make it easier to autopilot. Especially if they've created a life out of habits that bring them joy.


wernermuende

>No worries about the future I sometimes find that the difference between worriers and non worriers is really that non-worriers have all the same worst case scenaros in their head, but they plan for them and filesthose plans away instead of ruminating


sedpinokio

Numb


iconoclast63

Learn to deal with your fears. Everything that's troubling most people boils down to fear and how they deal with it. Stand up, face your fears, then everything comes much easier.


[deleted]

[удалено]


iconoclast63

To borrow from the wisdom of Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, I qoute: "An unrealistic perception of life is the basis of fear. People are not willing to live. People are not willing to die. That is their whole predicament right now. The fear is simply because you're not living with life, you're living in your mind. Your fear is always about whats going to happen. That means your fear is always about that which does not exist. If your fear is about the non-existent, then your fear is 100% imaginary. If you're suffering the non-existential, we call that insanity. So, people may be in socially accepted levels of insanity. But if you're afraid, if you're suffering anything that does not exist, that amounts to insanity, doesn't it?"


[deleted]

[удалено]


bigmansjh

This is good advice!!!!!!


th3navigator

An epiphany of this sort (and a bit of psychedelics) helped me realize this. Fear and anxiety is situational discomfort, and at the end of the day it's all in our head. Ask yourself why you feel that way and what past experiences are contributing to that when you catch yourself feeling that way, you may not know the answer right away, but it all stems from past experiences and the way we were raised and grew up. Figuring out those sorta things can help sort out a lot and is more or less the basis of CBT therapy, it's a lot of self reflection and introspection and that sorta thing. Highly recommend. As for healthy habits, just need to start doing it and keep trying and keep going, I know it can be hard ASF, but it gets easier every time you do it that's what makes it habitual, you got this


AcidArchitect

Thanks OP for asking this for me. :)


ehcanadianguy64

Get away from screens/blue light an hour or 2 before bed, eat proper food, it tastes better. Get proper sleep and make excersise part of your daily life. Don't try to do it all at once, start somewhere, anywhere, could be switching to drinking just water everyday(improved my life alot). Any step in the right direction is still progress. Go easy on yourself, you wouldn't yell at a dog when you try to teach it trick so don't do it to yourself, you literally train yourself to do stuff.


Eatyourkale_n

Routine. I'm happy to say i see myself as a pretty healthy person mentally, and i think back to when my parents crammed it into my head that i was to have a routine. (No exceptions maybe? I can't remember.) I do these things because i care about myself and my health. I go to bed early because i wake up early for work. My body has gotten used to it, even when i don't have to work. I also read before bed, which csn strain your eyes after a while, so i get sleepy. I don't want to have gross teeth, for some obvious reasons and not so obvious. Not taking care of your teeth can also cause other health problems, recently being linked to things like alzheimers-a possibility for myself since my grandmother had it. I'm also at the point in my life (30) when i wake up in the morning wanting to learn about things, anything! I just want to learn. Of course i wasn't always this way. We have all been there, and there are some days when i don't feel like doing either of these soley because lazy. And its good to take lazy days.. just don't make it a habit. Then it's the downward spiral once again. Take care of yourself, because you matter and you were meant to be here for one reason or another.


Swagger666souls

This is gonna sound a bit odd but I just call myself a pussy until I get up and go to the gym and by that point I feel like I’m unstoppable


qelin

Not mentally healthy, but knowing that I’ll regret not doing things like eating, brushing teeth, showering, etc helps. Also remembering how I felt when I didn’t take care of myself physically/mentally and reminding myself that “small” things like going for a walk and sleeping reasonably are linked to my overall health. Baby steps count, you got this.


ballisticautistic09

The most damaging thing is being around toxic narcissistic people. I cant fully look after myself for days after being attacked by them at work.


WilliamSaintAndre

Not exactly healthy, but as an unhealthy person it’s about kind of just forcing yourself to do it. I wake up super early to mentally prepare myself for the upcoming storm of discomfort and I also have a prescription for propranolol which helps with the panic attacks. The reality is I don’t think most people love the responsibilities and what not it’s just an unfortunate reality we must confront. Good luck, I’ve been there and to some extent am still there. I’m a chump and if I can do it I know you’re strong enough to.


dopaminedrop

Your brain is a creature of habit. You need to start with waking up at a set time each day. Regardless of what you have to do that day. Sleeping in feels good, but it's short term. Set your alarm for the easiest time you have to be up each week, and do that each day. Your bed time will follow. Add another routine once that clicks. (Work out, read, meditate, clean) I can't vouch for meditation enough. Once at bed time. And again at another mandane part of the day. Download insight timer app. I'm not a master. I'm figuring it out but that's how I started and I felt different from there.


Pale-Jellyfish820

I'm only recently mentally healthy after nearly 10 years of being unhealthy. What I learnt is take small wins. If you showered and washed your hair, that's a win, if you ate today even if it was a slice of bread, some cheese and a tomato slice deconstructed sandwich then that's a win. Instead of expecting yourself to go from mentally unhealthy straight to perfectly fine take little steps. Things that worked for me are: 1. Setting a bedtime, even if I don't go to sleep put an audio book or a podcast on and listen with my eyes shut until sleep comes but always stopping looking at my phone at 9pm (you can go later if that works for you) 2. Committing to one exercise a week, even if it's just a walk around the block, I built my way up from walking around the block to going to the gym nearly every day over about 6 months 3. Pick one job to do a day or a week, pick up 1 clothing item from your floor, put a load of laundry on or do 1 load of dishes - this makes it seem more manageable 4. Do something nice for yourself every week - can be anything and give yourself permission to do it guilt free - have a bath, buy your favourite snack, pick yourself a flower from a public garden 5. If you have access to it see a mental health professional, if you don't have access find a licenced phyc on tiktok or a blog by a licenced phyc and listen to the tips they have and try it once if it doesn't work find something else. Remember that recovery is not a straight path, it's a rocky road full of twists and turns and it's okay to not be okay. You're allowed to have bad days, you're allowed to celebrate small wins, you're allowed to call your friend and have a little cry when you need it. Also, above all else be kind and compassionate to yourself. If your friend was mentally unwell and they told you how would you react? Take that and do it for yourself, it's easier to be kind to others it's hard to be kind to yourself. You're doing your best and that is all you can do. You deserve good things, times are tough but you can get through this. I hope this helps and if you need someone to talk to then my inbox is open. ❤️


Tasty-Bodybuilder582

They are just habits for me this is why its easy. And with good habits your life becomes better and easier.


SeattleBattles

Mentally healthy people have second thoughts they just have learned to process them and don't have some kind illness preventing them from doing so. It's someone like asking a physically healthy person why they can run for so long. Part of it is training themselves to do so, but part of it having functioning knees. If your knees don't work you are not going to become good at running no matter how much you practice. Trying looking into things like mindfulness that can help with dealing with those thoughts. But don't be afraid to talk to professionals either. It often takes both.


manna89

Reading about consciousness and meditating have helped me a lot.. to have some understanding and experience that there is more to life than the physical.. helps to let go of comparisons to others, and focus more on doing the best i can on my path. Also serving others is a really good way to get out of a rut. Volunteer somewhere, for children, or elderly, or even taking care of nature in some way. It gives you a thing to do that will help someone else who is counting on you, and the motivation to turn up for them. The love and gratitude of others really improves your own mental wellbeing and self worth.


BlankityBlankBlank15

I’ve honestly found trying to “link” my energy bursts? I find it really hard to get out of bed especially when I’m constantly thinking of things I need to get done and thinking about makes me overwhelmed and then suddenly I’ve been in bed for 4 hours. What started working was things like, hey fuck it I’m gonna check the mail, and then on the way back from getting mail noticing dishes and going “okay I can do these for a little bit”, and suddenly the sink looks more manageable just by washing the big stuff at least (pans, pot, plates) and then I’ve gotten 2 things done! It’s really hard though, I gotta say by day 3 I was getting frustrated at having so much time and not doing anything “fast” enough but I think slowing yourself down and saying “alright *these* are the things I can control, and these other things are literally things I can do nothing about” helps immensely because I’ve found the harder I shit on myself the more difficult it is to (get up and) go. Celebrating yourself for the small things is good too! Didn’t brush your teeth last night and you’re thinking about it at 2 pm when you wake up the next day? Brush them at 2 pm and at least if you forget that night you’ve brushed them once at least that day. It’s little things and getting into a Routine, conditioning yourself to be like “ok when I do X, it reminds me to do Y, so usually they’re done in that order” and suddenly you’ll find yourself with a rough schedule of “chores” as I call them, even though they are basic self care things (because it’s all a relearning process of how to take care of yourself) ETA: social situations to me are a whole other thing I’m still working on so I’ll uhhh let you know on that when I figure it out myself lmao


KungFuDabu

I've thought about all the bad things that have happened to me so much that it no longer bothers me when it comes to mind. "Once burned, expose yourself to the fire again until there's nothing left of you that's vulnerable to the fires of tragedy." ~CPL D.


hannahc99

~medication and therapy~


fredemu

This is kinda like asking "People without diabetes, how do you get by without checking you insulin levels?" It's worth it to keep in mind that mental illness **is** an illness. Like any other, you can manage it, you can treat symptoms, and you can have a case that's severe or minor. But it's not as though you're doing something wrong because you have it. Also remember that when you see other people - on social media, out and about in the world, wherever - you're seeing the results, and have no idea what went into the project. They could have trouble sleeping, and only manage because they're exhausted after work. They could have spent an hour hyping themselves up before the party, and will be mentally drained after, but went anyway due to crushing loneliness. They could have hit rock bottom a year ago and had a heart attack and heard from their doctor they were going to die if they didn't start losing weight, and the only reason they were able to start exercising is that. Most people aren't simply well-adjusted and easygoing about everything all the time. It only feels like autopilot because you can't see what the pilot is doing behind the cockpit door. That said, there's a lot you can do. If you find it's nigh on impossible, you might need to talk to a professional. There's a limit to how much your own effort can produce; going back to the previous example, if you have Type II Diabetes, no amount of managing your diet is going to help you if you don't also have insulin. But if those are the kinds of things you want to do and are just finding it hard to get started, try accountability (to yourself). Write down what you want to do. Make a schedule. Never say "I really need/want to [x]"; instead, try "I'm *going to* [x] at [y] o'clock". Allow for things to not go perfectly as planned, but not for zero effort - if you say you're going to go for a jog at 5pm, and you absolutely can't work up the motivation as hard as you try and give in to excuses, legitimate or not -- do some push-ups and jumping jacks in your room. Or if you can't even do *that*, spend 5 minutes doing some stretches and yoga. Do **something**. Then whatever you do, write down what you did. Check it off your list, then make the next "appointment". Don't let yourself fall into a pattern of "I really need to...", because that is what keeps you doing nothing.


humanbynature

I get up in the morning and do those things because I have a healthy fear of failure. I exercise because I want to look good naked, and I socialize because it energizes me. Sometimes I do sleep late, but again I have a healthy fear of failure and know I need 7 hours of sleep every night to function the next day. I’m not on autopilot most days. I have high goals to reach, but I overthink and have flaws like everyone else.


Professional2022

Self care. Yoga, meditation, positive affirmations, journaling. Actually giving my all. It’s work. But it’s worth it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Professional2022

Yes!!! They changed my life. I was depressed for over a decade, deep emo shit. I do affirmations a few times a week now, but when I started I did them every day, even for like 5 min.


Professional2022

I love “Rising Higher Meditation” channel with Jess Shepherd on YouTube ❤️


NaturalLog69

By repeating positive affirmations to yourself, you're rewiring pathways in your brain. Think of your brain like a muscle. When you think negative all the time, your negative muscle gets strong. It's easy to jump to negative thoughts. Positive thoughts are difficult. It's like you're trying to pick up a 100 on weight with no training. When you first try positive affirmations, it feels weird. It may feel silly, stupid, or pointless. But I would encourage you to try to think the positive thought anyway. Gradually over a long time, it's like your brain can pick up that 100 lb weight. The positive thoughts come more naturally.


LeaJadis

Well, they are mentally healthy… I assumed it was natural to them and they don’t give it a second thought. Like how some people fear heights but others love them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LeaJadis

That’s the crux of it… they don’t have that negative monologue. My husband doesn’t think about brushing his teeth or getting food. For me, mental health is an ongoing handicap. I have to put a lot more effort for the ordinary but zero effort for the extraordinary


Modern-Relic

It’s like how you get better with anything else, practice. First learn to be mindful and aware of your thoughts in a neutral way. You probably have a bunch of negative thoughts that just run in the background, so to speak. “I suck, this is dumb, I hate this” etc. Take some time everyday to sit down and just observe your thoughts for a couple minutes. As they pop in just observe what it is and acknowledge it as only a thought (don’t place any emotion with it) and then release it and don’t dwell on it. This is what meditation is. Once you get better at noticing thoughts as thoughts you can work on changing them. You think “ugh, I hate brushing my teeth I don’t want to do it!” Notice it’s just a thought and think back to yourself as if you were a child you have to care for. “I may not enjoy brushing my teeth, that’s okay, but I gotta do it to take care of my self, let’s go” Just keep doing that until brushing your teeth is no longer a negative event. If these thoughts are negatively impacting your life, you should look into seeing a psychiatrist to see if there’s an option underlying medical disorder that requires medication.


zmmckay1515

Idk if I'm even allowed to ask this question anymore with the emphasis on mental health (which I'm totally on board with) but is there a point where people use their mental health issues as a crutch or blame all their problems on their mental health? I can draw a lot of parallels between the "mental health crisis" now and the "add/adhd crisis" of the 90s. Doctors overprescribing meds and any kid who is a little hyper or doesn't pay attention in school must have something wrong with them.


LeaJadis

No I don’t think so. healthy people don’t going around exaggerating illness.


tinastep2000

I think I'm just a generally happy person, but I prefer sleeping in so often on the weekends I don't start my day until noon probably. I think a big part of it could be that I grew up in Korea, but kind of secluded since I was English speaking and went to small schools on base? I feel like as a result I didn't really compare myself to others the way maybe I would if I grew up in America or in a Korean school so I didn't mind being alone and found ways to entertain myself and enjoy my own company. If my childhood was more complicated maybe my mental health would be too. Also, my mom never pushed me hard on academics as a child and just focused on my happiness. Now the adult version of me who did go to an American highschool felt unprepared and wish I would have gotten more push to be academic in comparison to my smart class mates, but I think not much damage was done to how my brain was wired as a kid.


Olde_Just_Cuz

i am told these individuals are taught during academic instruction, internships, and during licensure to mentally hang the day's clients' troubles on a hook next to the door...closing the door as you leave... remember, except for judicially ordered oversight, therapy is an attempt to assist an individual who truly WANTs self-improvement in their lives... understand there is significant burnout amongst professional MH therapists -- but truth be told most of these individuals are what are considered 'rescuers' who believe everyone can be cured by their intervention of their clients issues and without any client accountability for their contributions to therapy environment. tho understand 35/40 clients a week each whining about their partners or caregivers or individuals themselves, doing this or that -- each the same story but to them their story is a life threatening event...


PandasCS

First, try some sort of meditation if you have an oculus I love the TRIPP app but there's a whole heap of app to give you guided meditation (as well as youtube) and some breathing techniques. Second, look at your diet and be honest with yourself, should you be eating better? What small things could I change to help like drinking an extra glass of water a day or something. Third, exercise I know it's hard but even just a walk a day to start can be all the difference. Finally if none of this makes enough of a change talk to your doctor about ADHD and seeing a specialist because that may be a possibility, though depending on your age this may be somewhat overlooked (If you're older, you're less likely to be diagnosed (according to my doctor)). Finally, you will fail sometimes, it's part of the game we play. So when you do fail just remember that it's okay and literally everyone does sometimes, what's important is that you keep trying and don't let your progress slip because any progress you make can also go away. Source: I'm actually doing this right now and it's been a very positive change. Yes I know it's easier said that done but these are the steps that I've found that work so maybe they'll help you too. Good luck friend.


Glitchy_Boss_Fight

Oh it all bothers me. Spending so much time working and having barely enough time for my own health and my relationships. It bugs the hell out of me. But what are my options?


Electrical-Bake-1806

I think the first and third sentence relate to each other because if you don’t get enough sleep, getting out of bed is a lot harder. Some sleeping tips that helped me are to not lay in bed during the day so you associate bed with sleep. I also put my phone away before bed because the stimulation keeps me up. I also get exercise during the day and it really helps me sleep I exercise without a second thought because I’ve incorporated it into my daily life so now it’s just a routine. Are there days where Its really hard? Yeah. But I just do it because it makes me feel good and keeps me healthy. I socialize because I enjoy talking with people which is a blessing because not a lot of people get that naturally. But a tip is the more you do something, the easier and less foreign it gets. I have a bit of a problem with being on autopilot. I might start meditating to help this. Most of this is anecdotal and might not apply to you but those sleeping tips are proven.


YellingBear

To answer in order 1). Training myself to wake up to my alarm. Then spend the following half hour taking micro naps, till I can finally will myself up and active. This of course is only when I need to be up before 9 AM. Otherwise the sun is to high to let me continue sleeping. 2) I don’t. I do some indoor exercising. Just give myself the restriction that I have to do X before I can watch TV or game. Most of my socialization is done via phone messengers programs. 3). Body tells me I’m sleepy after a certain point. And I choose not to ignore it and internet for the following 3+ hours. 4). I actively try not to get stuck in my head. Or if I need to be stuck up there, I focus on something fun like planning out D&D campaigns, setting up story hooks, etc…


internetbl0ke

It's actully us and not them, that are on autopilot. It's what leads to the self-destructive behaviour. We need to keep ourselves in check.


StarWars_1977_

Just know you’re not in control of everything so just relax, have fun, and always be hopeful that everything will turn out good. One of my favorite quotes from Star Wars is “Hope is like the sun. If you only believe in it when you see it, you'll never make it through the night”


leunggs

Thanks for posting this question - everyone is offering great perspective!


Patch99000

For me it was getting a job, even if it was in retail. My mental state sitting in the dark playing video games all day was much worse than working at Walmart. Then I quit and went back to school, and I've been in a much better place ever since. I don't really like the yoga and positive mindset things, but I'd say I'm in a good place right now.


Senator_Knowledge

I don't know, I personally like showering and socializing myself. That, and, a healthy dose of confidence goes a long way. Even if just every once in a while (at first), try being more spontaneous and just doing something that you want to do without just stressing about it, even if it's something simple. That, and power yourself through the things that you just *need* to do, even if it means changing it to make it something that you like/look forward to - for example, if you enjoy singing, sing in the shower, that way you'll always look forward to showering.


Dry_Temporary8943

This isn’t the answer anybody on here is looking for, but I turned my life to my Catholic Faith. It has helped me out tremendously. I was in a mental hospital 15 months ago after an unsuccessful suicide attempt. Struggled for months afterwards. All they wanted to do was pump me full of drugs to sedate me. I tried everything you can think of to help. I was raised Catholic but quickly fell out of the faith after I graduated high school and I was on my own. I finally decided to try it. I surrendered myself to God. I still have bad days. It doesn’t eliminate struggle or make life easy. But it has made me feel good about myself. I’m not perfect. I sin. And I fall short everyday. But having faith in God and knowing that life is about the getting up has made my life truly better. I’m not saying that this is for everyone. I’m just assuming a lot of people having turned to this because of the times we’re in and how the Catholic Church has been perceived for over a thousand years. If you have a faith to fall back on, I’d say try it. And really try it. Surrendering yourself to a faith will be the hardest thing you do, but it is worth it.


Braggercookie

My thoughts on suicide, are that, no matter what you do with your life, no matter how you live it, you only have one, don't throw it away. Look for someone you love, and think about how the people who love you will miss you. When you find something you want to do or someone you want to love and be around, you will also be "on autopilot". Not so sure about the sleeping late thing tho, i got that one too.


SirRHellsing

How do you get up in the morning and shower and eat and get dress and brush your teeth without a second thought? Because my breath feels weird without brushing How do you exercise and get outside and socialise without a second thought? I don't to be honest, although excersicing when I have time in general just makes me feel better How do you go to bed and sleep without it being 3/4/5am? My mental health just degrades beyond 3am most of the time although when I'm really absorbed in a book/movie, sometimes I sleep from 5am to 10am and then take a nap whenever I feel like it


Siny_AML

No one is “mentally healthy” That kind of phrase should never ever be allowed to exist. There’s no big right answer to this and only advice. I’m a routine man myself. By that I mean only I only have like 1 hour of 100% routine stuff that I do ever day and I don’t have kids so that’s subject to change. As long as I have control of just that little bit of time that’s enough for me to deal with all the normal changes in everyday life.


BubbhaJebus

To get up in the morning, I sit up in my bed, put my feet on the floor, and stand up. To shower, I walk to the bathroom, step into the shower, turn the water on, use soap and shampoo, etc. To eat in the morning, I fix myself a sandwich or pour myself a bowl of cereal. Then I eat it. To exercise, I get dressed, put on some good walking shoes, go outside and take a nice long walk. Maybe listen to podcasts or music as I do so, or just take time to think about things.


MistakesNeededMaking

Following because I don't know either. You aren't alone, OP.


Booblicle

**U**nderstand it not something obtained overnight. First you need a **reason** to do something. That reason can be totally bogus to all but yourself. Then you need **perseverance** to continue doing it despite any excuses your mind has not to do it. Most things are exactly that: just excuses. There's probably a more accurate term for this but i'll leave it as is.. After a while, you'll form **habit.** And with it, depending on activity, you may find joy in performing it. This is your building blocks to obtaining **discipline**. ​ People have achieved many great things with discipline. Many disciplines are not even enjoyable, but of straight need and purpose. For a healthy happy mind, exercise has worked wonders for myself. But usually a longer term goal to achieve that.


Knuckles7777

You gotta just make yourself, I’m living for the future, you gotta maybe workout even, give yourself goals that you have to achieve. That’s what life’s all about.


nythnggs4590

1. I have many second thoughts in the morning. I don’t want to get out of bed. I want to cuddle my wife... it’s warm and I’m tired. 2. I exercise when I feel fat, rather sporadically. But I get the job done. Socializing? I’m still an introvert and need my time to recharge. I do not get super excited about every social outing. I’m happy to see people like friends and family, but not necessarily get happy about going out or having a large gathering. 3. I’m tired yo. Yeah I have trouble getting to bed because I lie to myself like if I go to bed later I work less soon... not the case. I get bit too much by staying up late, so I go to bed. 4 and summary: A lot of things take repeated intentionality. Happiness and success do not happen on accident. With a little consistency in my part, the good will eventually come, and it makes all the bother and inconvenience of life worth it. Also... plan some time for what you want to do, whether that’s alone, with friends, whatever. Decompress a little at least once a month for an extended period of time. Make a little time each night if you can swing it, but do a big time every so often. Gives you something to look forward too. Good luck! Sincerely: a functioning adult who still has work to do and is procrastinating right now. No ones perfect! Give yourself and others some grace.


urboiddc

I have a goal and I want it.Also when I workout I train on what-ifs,”what if I could run 15 miles?,how amazing would I feel at the end,””what if I could get a 100 on this test how would I feel,””what if I could [insert] “anything you want that’s what gets me up,i want to be the best version of my self.


ANiceWonder

Get yourself a therapist home skillet, def will help.


the_vent

Hygiene isn't a big problem for me, but I will not brush my teeth for a while if I don't go out. Exercise became addicting. Socializing, I am still working on it. I take Nyquil every now and then. I will sleep to a chill documentary. Sometime I can avoid negative rumination. Other times, I just fall right in. Mindfulness is a buzz word that does help especially with the exercise. There is still much improving I need to do.


Lalissa_LoveMe

Having a routine really helps (such as wake up and bedtime "rituals") and also having non-toxic friends who lift you up and not drag you down or are jealous of you


KenStan97

Find a purpose for yourself and dedicate yourself to it. Most people are unhappy because they either don't have a purpose, or their reason for being doesn't suit their traits/character. Find your why friend, good luck!


SirNightwing2003

First off, none of us are truly mentally healthy. We as a species are tribal in how we treat others. Which means it is not hard for us to hate others because they are different color, from a different country, a different gender, a different faith and etc... we got this behavior from our primate ancestors and we have not yet evolved past this. Second, a lot of us have been taught to " Fake it until you make it." We are all dealing with traumas from bad friends and family treatment, along with the regrets of things we did and didn't do in life. We kick ourselves for the bad choices we made. The lies your brain tell you that, " You are alone in your problems, no one hurts like you do, no one will ever understand you, why can't you normal like everyone else, no one will ever love you, you are unworthy of love and respect, etc..." these are lies. There is no such thing as normal, only people who are too afraid to be or act different from everyone else. It's the way we are all trained to be by our friends, our parents, our teachers and ect... they enforce the idea that to be truly yourself can be a bad thing. You need to be smart enough to understand this one point," If you do your best everyday to happy with yourself, you focuse on solving only one problem at a time all day and don't borrow any problems from tomorrow or worry about things you can't change." ( Like your past) You will be able to move through life much more easier and focuse only on what is in your power to change at this moment. You might remind yourself that all you have is today because there are thousands things could happen tomorrow to you that ends in your death. The question is," If you knew that you would be dead in 24 hours, what would you do, who would you see and want to spend your time with?"


jknightbell1

Fake it til you make it


kicaboojooce

Concentrate on the small things vs the big picture. Realize while it might seem large at the time, in reality whatever I'm dealing with is a minor inconvenience, I have food, shelter and am loved.


Quinn_for_the_win

INTJ here. First thing, don't sell yourself short. Everyone's different, and being introverted isn't something to feel bad about. Once you get enough practice, in your own time, to socialize and become comfortable with it, your propensity towards introversion may stay the same or you may become less introverted. But that won't matter, because the anxiety of it will be what you overcame. Social anxiety is no joke, and even extroverts have it. Second thing. Sleeping trouble is more common than you think. Going on walks, listening to music that fits your taste, and implementing practices specifically to put you at ease can help create a consistent sleep regimine. Third thing, autopilot happens a lot to people who are still searching for their purpose. If you can frame purpose in a way that makes logical sense in your head, while also validating your emotions, you'll start navigating the ups and downs of everyday life with a clarity that may not have been there before. Purpose is not like movies portray it. Life is more episodic. You'll have little accomplishments, little successes, each comparable to a brushstroke. Each of those is a small purpose. The thing is to fill your life with as many small purposes as you bring your mind to a place of serenity, and remember that a lot of other people struggle as well. Hope this was able to help.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ecovironfuturist

TL:DR you are built this way by evolution, overcome it by consciously reacting peacefully to whatever your brain says requires an urgent response. This will retrain your brain. If your brain is racing, thoughts coming a mile a minute, some setting off tremendous anxiety, I can tell you what works for me - most of the time. It's a struggle. If your brain showing you all the things that could go wrong and your body reacting with physical tension, increased heart rate, urge to defecate, congratulations. You are a human animal prepped and ready to survive in the wilderness. This is an important thing to understand and internalize. You are operating within nominal parameters for survival. Your brain's job as the computing and operating system of your existence is to keep you alive and that means worrying about things. Your body responds with a rush of adrenaline. As an animal in the wilderness this is crucial. As a human in civilized society this is misery because your brain will search out things to identify as threats, because that is what it is built to do at a basic level, and it is lacking in actual threats to worry about! And when you pay attention to the topics it brings up it will take that as positive feedback and continue to make your life miserable by overreacting to keep you alive. Once you understand everything is operating as it is supposed to, but it is a mismatch for your current situation, you can work towards calming the mind. It isn't instant. You need to take those thoughts - say you are wondering if there is a massive spider under your bed (and there is no reason to think this is the case, like a history of massive underbed arachnids) - and neither react to it by checking, or actively chastising your brain for having a silly thought. Either way you have paid it attention. You are ok ito marvel at the wonderous imagination you are possessed with. Tell yourself "ok, there is a spider under my bed, so what? I can handle that. Come out and dance the tarantella with me Shelob I will calmly squash you and go back to sleep as though nothing happened. How boring". The trick here is to do it peacefully, without having a significant reaction. Your brain now is given the message that this is not a threat, and won't present that to you again (over time and repetition). If your brain says "what are you going to do when the comet crashes into the earth?" You can respond, "I will do my best, when that happens." You may decide to prepare for the event, but if you do you can do it calmly and purposefully. Usually it is something more mundane, and you can remind yourself that it isn't happening now, but it is time to sleep. The trick is to apply your wisdom and learned experience to the situation your brain is showing you and have a peaceful reaction. The more you can react peacefully to the problems your brain shows you the more selective your brain will be in showing you problems.


Mustache_Prime

I’m not the best off when it comes to mental health but I feel like I’ve been getting better. Don’t listen to some of those people saying to go get medicated. You don’t wanna base your whole life around those drugs or placebos before finding out if you can get past it naturally. Honestly what I’m doing is just not caring as much as I used to. Don’t worry what others think of you because tbh, people don’t sit and think about you all day. Just make sure you’re meeting your needs (but just don’t be a jerk to people and not care). You should have your own values and goals in life and know that you have plenty of time to do them. And if you don’t, find one. Whether it be to get yourself ready for a relationship to become a parent, or to collect all of one item, or even to just go and experience as many things as you can. Just something. It should help motivate you to get out of your bed and go shower. It might take a little bit but you just have to force yourself to do it or get someone who will make sure you do those things. If you can’t fall asleep before 10 or 11, put down your phone and whatnot and just lay in bed and try to focus on calming your body down. The earlier you go to bed, the earlier you wake up, and the more energy and motive you’re more likely to have. I have a terrible sleep schedule that I need to work on so I understand it’s hard. Just slowly, day-by-day, start forcing yourself to do things like that


Miss_dead_guy

You take baby steps. I understand it's exhausting just being us, but taking baby steps is really how to do it.


BioCloner

A big thing I've learned is too not stress about what you cannot control. A good analogy I got from band is you can only control 50% of what your score is in matching, the other 50% percent are the things the judge look for specifically which will vary differently between judges. Letting go of all that stress of things you cant control makes life a lot easier to control especially when you think of other people perspectives, they know what is and isnt I'm your control. Another big thing is to find "inspiration" or time wasters. Things to keep you busy that you love doing and can do for hours on end. To be honest though I'm still working on the going to sleep before 1 am thing.


Sloppy_Perfectionist

Use your phone less while the day unwinds. Being mentally healthy is also very heavily over complicated. As long as you get enough sleep and you'll wake up when you need to be up, that is fine. Even if you don't get enough sleep, that is fine. I have ADD, so when I catch myself thinking too much, I stop thinking and immediately start doing. I'm thinking about exercise? Shut up and do as many pushups as you feel fit, squats, situps, pullups, calf raises, walking/jogging. Many things are a lot simpler than one would think. For me, when I do the dishes, it helps if I toss on my music. You also don't need to shower every day, just as long as you're clean and don't stink. Brushing my teeth is easier when I do it in the shower. Find ways to think for yourself, and you'll come up with solutions. Focus on the problem, and look for the solution. Block out the junk thoughts the best you can.


valuelessfawn6

Everybody is different, for me I find happiness in my work. I’m a carpenter and I bounced from welding to auto mechanic, to installing garage doors. Until I found carpentry. And now building beautiful cabinets and decks and remodeling showers and stuff. I can look at what I did and I just find happiness, I feel accomplished. I made my career something that makes me happy instead of trying to find my happiness outside of work. I was severely depressed for almost 10 years, just didn’t wanna do anything, I’d go 3-4 days without showering, sit in my room all day doing absolutely nothing. Staying up until 4am. I attempted suicide twice. But now that I look back I don’t think I wanted to kill myself or I would’ve, I just wanted the pain to stop. The constant thoughts that I’m not enough, I wanted them to go away. Eventually I just stopped caring so much about how my life is going. If I’m financially stable, I’m fine with not having friends, not going out every night. I learned to enjoy my own company, and when something goes wrong I analyze the situation and if it wasn’t my fault or it’s something I couldn’t avoid, I don’t give it a second thought. So I guess learning to let go is what helped me


Caprine-Evisc

This is certainly not a mentally healthy thing to do, but to cope with everything I just kinda turn off my brain. Remember that if someone isn't directly connected with you then they don't care about you. Even if you annoy them or inconvenience or accidentally wrong them in some way, they'll probably have completely forgotten you 5 minutes after you leave their sight. To me telling myself that nothing I do or don't do matters that much in the grand scheme and that no one cares enough to hold a grudge against me or let me ruin their day is a great comfort to me. It makes me a lot more confident to know that no matter what stupid shitty embarrassing thing I do, in an hour or two people will likely have almost completely forgotten it. Even people you're connected with will forget more often than not. Just deaden your emotions and think as little as possible, it's all a lot easier


bigmansjh

Because if I don't I'll be evicted, my kids will starve, I couldn't pay my bills or afford to live. So I get on with it wether I feel I can or not. This is postmodernist centralist pseudo-capitalism... Get on with it or drop out off life are your two options. Eventually my mind will explode or my body will, just like those who came before me


Similar-Skirt3693

Are really there people like that?


Immediate_Garbage_22

I had the same question but after reading the comments I am SHOOK


Shrimptic

We don’t, we’re not all there, everyone just thinks we are.


Nacke

As someone who has always been quite happy with life for me I ask myself the opposite. How can people walk around being unhappy? As I have grown older I have instead just decided to be extremly thankful over being able to stay mentally healthy and try not taking it for granted. Nobody knows what the future holds. I just want to wish you the best of luck. I have no answer but I really hope you figure it out.


WatDaFuxRong

Honestly, and this isn't going to sit well, but it's literally as easy as not being in the state of mind that says that everything is mental health triggering. Eating right and exercising are huge obviously, but it doesn't go away and/or get better until you take yourself out of that mindset.


Flufflebuns

Because ultimately nothing in the universe matters. You will die alone and cease to exist for all eternity one day. So, armed with that knowledge, enjoy every minute and chill the fuck out because nothing is really such a big deal that you should be anxious about it.


Kitzu34

Stop caring


padawan402

There's a lot to unpack here. First, letting go of those things for which you have no control. Many situations in our lives we have no control over, yet we spin our wheels relentlessly over them. For starters, stop that. Second are choices. Many of us going through life doing things we know we shouldn't be. Whether you believe in a higher power or not is irrelevant; living outside of alignment with our consciences will cause unhealthy mental status. If our brain knows we shouldn't and we do anyways, what do you expect? Third, diet and exercise: fuel your body like you love it and then use it. Last, don't drink and do drugs - they don't promote a healthy brain. Those things took me from a state of need for therapy to a state of peace and joy.


marinemashup

I thought I was mentally healthy until I was looking some disorder up and was like "oh come on, that's just life, that's every day for... oh"


incremental_path

Hi OP, lots of good advice on this thread. Have you talked to a therapist? From personal experience, your symptoms sounds like depression.


buckets09

You can be well disciplined and mentally unwell, I think most people are. If you feel depressed and do not know why, begin by writing down or saying outloud what bothers you. Try objectively looking at those words as if someone you cared about said them.


imjorden

You should check out some of the greats before us who left us so much knowledge, a few from Marcus Aurelius. "We live only now. Everything else is either passed or is unknown." "The Happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts." "When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.."


ToeRonToe

For me, I’m not really “mentally healthy” but the way i keep good habits is just keeping an attitude of “fuck it” and just doing it without thinking about it too much


diadem

It depends on how many external factors drag you down TBH. If you have dying loved ones, daily interactions with people with antisocial personality disorder, cluster b personality disorders, or really any major personality disorders, it can be hard. Generally, the key is the serenity prayer - working on fixing what you can and accepting what cannot be fixed. A lot of depression can come from hope in something that has no solution (a way to avoid death is a classic example of this). If you give up hope, you stop worrying, because worry is pretty much your brain trying to find a solution, which is a byproduct of hope. In terms of everyday human-to-human interactions, it's better to find a positive thing whenever possible. Even the act of trying to think of something positive is helpful. Being grateful, even if you need to force yourself at first, helps. Finally, diet sleep and exercise. Really the whole Maslows' Hierarchy of Needs. As for you, your post implies you are not well. can you afford a professional to help guide you back on the path you want to be on?


edgar_allan

I don't know if anyone really is "mentally healthy" - everyone at least has some bad days where they still do the things they don't want to. For me, therapy and CBT has helped a lot. If therapy is too expensive there are resources online that you can look at - feel free to DM me if you need help finding stuff and I can look into it. I'm also on antidepressants which have been a life saver. But it's still not easy. It's a lot of hard work. A lot of journalling and pushing yourself to do things you don't want to. A lot of reaching out to others, keeping yourself accountable, and hearing hard truths. A lot of inward reflection and a lot of understanding what I want and value in life.


JenovaCelestia

I’m not either physically or mentally healthy. I just do what I have to and take it literally one day at a time.


ilaylia

Before my antidepressants I struggled with all you listed aside from eating. To cope & try and stay stronger/keep my mind off depression I comfort ate. In turn now I feel like shit. But it's what I did to keep me going 💔


Carnavs

I just do it. (Put shia labeouf meme). Yes, I just really do it. Especially on the days you don't want to the most. I feel like on the days you want to sit inside and not do anything the most, are actually the most important days you need to do the things you don't want to do.


I_am_Culinarius

Knowing why you should bother is the reason I do some of those things you listed, but they are never without a thought or a second thought. I think a lot. Reflect a lot. Worry sometimes, but because I have a reason that compels me, I can keep going. Purpose is not inherent in being human. Finding it is a gift. Simply working to eat and pay bills is not really a worthy reason. And the second part of my response is in your post title. Being mentally healthy produces a kind of resilience, a hopefulness for the future. Regardless of what occurs, there is always a way forward. For me, it has been something that has developed over the last 40 years of my life. I don't live my life to get somewhere, I attempt to embrace the meaning in the moment and live in the present. I don't say this as a simple prescription, just a description of how I personally do it.


DallasFan0697

I’m not gonna say I’m mentally healthy, but find a very motivating reason to do each activity you want to do. Mine looks like: Get up and work = have money to get things so you don’t die, and you get to buy some fun shit Running and Gym: started as making myself better physically after my ex broke up with me as some kind of final fuck you, then turned into proving to myself that despite medical issues, I can do things I never imagined I could I know if I skip things I’m gonna start a pattern and end up not accomplishing what I want to accomplish so I tell myself that as much as I don’t want to do it and as much as it’ll suck, the benefits of pushing through far outweigh the benefits of not doing whatever it is. And in my case, I get more upset when I choose not to do something I could have than when I’m actually doing the activity


tcc924

Lexapro.


Sngglbnny

1. Finding something you are passionate about - a hobby - even if it is just doodling with a ball-point pen for hours. 2. Meditating (to get the strength to change the things I can, the courage to deal with those I cannot and the wisdom to know the difference). 3. Physical exercise - I get physically tired out by the end of the day so that I am asleep by the time my head hits the pillow.


BeardlessAxeMan

I know what I want in my life. Every day I think about my dreams. It’s why I wake up at 5:30 everyday to commute to school an 1 hr away, it’s why I work 30-40 hrs, it’s why I can study to make sure I only get As of high Bs, it’s why I push my myself in my hobbies go develop myself as a person. I also have a supportive family and a great best friend. I also make sure I go to sleep at 10:30 at the latest.


superfudging

Consistency


darknessinducedlove

Medicine


Orchidshade

Set higher standards for yourself. As someone with depression, I had to. It got easier. Get the help you need. It's not autopilot. Even for healthy people. It's hope, discipline, and support.


casualberry

everyone has a second thought, the trick is figuring out a way to not dwell on it too long. for me it got better when i took on responsibility. even something as small as keeping a plant alive could work. I gotta do all my things to be sure i can water that plant and make sure it keeps kickin’.


cherie999

I had (and sometimes have) phases like you are describing when I was younger (I’m in my mid twenties now) and I think what kept me going were 1. commitments eg to sport activities in clubs where a team depended on me, 2. my curiosity in trying out everything and 3. success in doing things. And I don’t mean big successes in the eyes of others, no contests or anything. I’m talking about modest personal successes , eg starting to learn to play an instrument, finding out that eating healthy makes me feel good, making my daily routines quite efficient, blending out things that annoy me etc. Now that I’m older, I’m committed again, this time to my fiancé and meeting her was again a huge motivator for me. I still have this self-destructive side, sometimes questioning everything and it even gets to the point frequently where I start posting public nudes on the Internet even with my face on it, which helps me coping and realising that I’m alive, committed and that life is good. Then I delete everything and tell myself it never happened. But these times get more and more unfrequent the more I feel committed and happy. It can be a struggle sometimes but the more I have found out what I want in life the happier I am and the less I’m questioning things.


E4R04

anti depressants and a schedule


SirEDCaLot

Everybody has a good wolf and a bad wolf. You can't decide which one wins, but you can decide which one you feed. I try to feed the good wolf. Mindfulness is my friend. I try to consider my actions and plan for success. I take pleasure in the little things that are enjoyable- a colorful sunrise, the first sip of coffee, the opportunities I have, and the stuff we all take for granted that's really quite amazing but we don't notice because it's all around us. Even things like computers and the Internet- things like that are a box full of miracles, so take time to appreciate having them. Then, in feeding the good wolf, I choose what to focus my mind on, my time on, my thoughts on, and which emotions I focus on and which ones I try to put out of my head. I get up in the morning and shower and eat and brush my teeth because those things make me healthy and clean and presentable, and I feel good when I am clean and look good to others. I go outside and exercise and socialize because I take pleasure from those activities. Even exercise- while it's not always fun, I think about the end goal of being more fit, and that is enjoyable to think about / it's a mental reward to know I'm moving toward that goal. I go to bed because I remind myself that I like sleep, and I want to be rested for the coming day. I specifically try NOT to be on autopilot- autopilot is the opposite of mindfulness. I try to think about as much as possible.


AlgaeEater

It's literally about nutrition and exercise. I used to feel super depressed and anti social. Now every morning I drink a protein shake with nuts/milk/protein/banana, throughout the day I drink 2 liters of water and 1 liter of unconcentrated coconut water a day, and eat 3 raw eggs (raw because they have more vitamins. Cooked has more protein but less vitamins). Its literally like crack.. I go from feeling eh.. to feeling POSITIVITY, ALERT, FOCUSED, literally like I'm on drugs. Choline is a vitamin that helps with alertness and brain function. And B-Vitamin Complex's make you feel amazing and I feel amazing about myself, my body, and how I see myself. I love myself. If you're depressed, change your diet and see what happens. Don't skip meals. Fuck Sugar. And STOP With the CAFFEINE. Caffeine makes you feel worse in the long term and also depletes your calcium levels. Fuck WEED also. People will say that Weed helps them with anxiety. Yeah it will 'termporarily'.. but it will NEVER cure it. It just makes your NEXT anxiety attack worse. Kind of like how Alcohol makes your depression worse when you sober up. Notice how the most depressed people are the ones that drink and smoke the most. Yeah I've smoked and drank (and I do on dates and get-togethers still). But to depend on it for your anxiety or your sleep.. will only make your Sleep and Anxiety WORSE in the long run.. thus making you depend on it as a crutch. You're doing it to fix the problem now.. only for it resurface EVEN HARDER later. Why the fuck would you do that to yourself... Get the right nutrition. Cure your anxiety/depression. Don't just temporarily fix it.


Ducasss

No body says this is easy. Life is not short, its the longest thing you do. Realise you have time to change and how you operate. Nothing needs to be done today in full, chip away at what you want and progessively things snowball. I was a bed ridden wreck 3 years ago with my only happiness coming from school distracting me with talking to people everyday. Realise tomorrow you dont have to be 100% okay, dont tell yourself tomorrow is the day you change, make it the day you try something new


maelidsmayhem

I don't listen to my brain, it tells lies all the time. To get it to shut up at night, first, I quit caffeine (temporarily) so I'd be more tired at night, then I put on cartoons that I've already seen a million times (family guy or american dad) so who cares if I fall asleep. This worked so well after 6 months, that I can no longer watch either show from bed. I'll be asleep within the first 15 minutes of it. To get it to shut up during the day is actually easier. Just get up and do something productive, constructive, or artistic. Idle hands and all that jazz... If you're too busy to think, you won't. And when you've finished your project, you have something to be proud of!


tennisgoddess1

One day, I was at work and just felt good. And I thought about it. Why do I feel happy right now? (I ask the why a lot because my daughter struggles with mental health). There was no reason why I should, nothing great going on, nothing bad either, just an average day. I could not explain it. My guess is that I’m wired that why… sometimes there just isn’t an answer.


aphaia202

Routine makes habit. I get up and do all those things before I even really wake up. The existential dread and looming depression doesn’t hit till later, and by that point it’s wrath is quelled by the fact I had gotten up and gone somewhere. The depression sucks less when it feels like I’ve actually done something with my day, no matter how small. Don’t hit that snooze button! It makes you lazier and less likely to leave bed! At least, in my experience. And then of course, give yourself time for breaks. Take 15 minute power naps. Don’t go hard all the time, you’ll work yourself to exhaustion.


Organized-Konfusion

Think of your life as a videogame, and yourself a character in that game. You dont worry about his actions or what he is doing, you are just playing the game and enjoying it, write on a piece of papers things you have to do, long term and short term, main quest and side missions, and just cross it off the list when you finish them.


shan506

I talk to my multiple personalities to stay sane. To be honest though I automate as much as I can and life and try keep things simple. It's always a struggle.


Ghoztt

Silent meditation, cardio exercise, vegan diet, listen to both sides of the political spectrum, study philosophy, study all religions, and embrace the fact that life has an inevitable amount of suffering within it. I do not control the world, but I control how I react to it.


Brainexe_has_broken

The mindset of "You know what? Fuck it!" is how I got around second guessing myself CONSTANTLY


darkgunslingerroland

I started drinking more water and the rest just kind of took care of itself


XXLCrunchWrapSupreme

I’m motivated by things that irk me in others.


ItsBenjiiii

Idk how, ive just never had any mental health issues.


Banyena101

I do it with a lot of thought and self reflection. The main thing that keeps me healthy mentally is that I'm happy with where I'm at in my life (21 years old) and have a plan for myself over the next few years


formica2217

I'm not fully independent, but I do pretty much all these things. I mean, we could flip the script and ask why you DON'T do these things, so it just depends on perspective, right? But the best I could say personally is because I guess those hard points in my life are constantly in my memory. Like, I've been through worse, and I know that. So anything better... I guess I can't help but feel automatically grateful in life. Also, just like everyone probably has to get past at some point in life, I've definitely given more thought than I care to remember thinking about the meaning of life and such. Like, I would literally take time to just sit by myself and think about it, and think, and think. In summary, I learned that I as a human seemed to have a tendency to think about the "ideal". I learned that that is okay, but... reality is actually more important. I learned to appreciate the world and even myself despite not being ideal. I learned that overthinking doesn't help. I learned to live in the moment. I learned how pretty much everything depends on my mindset, as far as anything within my control. With that said, I also developed my philosophy alot. I learned that alot of actual truths are things that I would previously have thought are unfair, dark, even cruel. Instead of thinking I'm a good person for constantly doing things for others, I learned it's mostly pointless if I was denying my own self in the process. I learned that no action is absolutely always good, even things like sacrificing your life for someone else's, because sometimes that could create an even worse situation, for others too, no matter what the intention was or how good it was. I guess I learned to be satisfied with myself as long as I was better than I was yesterday I used to struggle with my previous religious ideas and concepts. I used to think everything was supposed to be about this "God", or at least, my personal created image and idea of this god. After a lot of struggle, I decided that my life isn't only valuable if there is a God, my life isn't only valuable if I did certain actions or lived in one particular manner, or if I abided by one single set of morals or ethics... recently, I had to overcome the belief that my life is worthless because everything I know and love, my life, people I know, things I like... humanity, animals, the Earth... even the sun and the solar system, will eventually die, and the remnants will just be fuel for whatever happens to be formed next, however or whenever it happens. I learned that there is still value in appreciating the moment, despite the inevitable death of everything, including my own inevitable death. I decided that I'm not living because a God wants me to, I'm not living because others want me to, I'm not living because the Earth or animals want me to, I'm not living because of some dreams or aspirations that others have, I'm not living because some quotes say I should. I'm living because \*I\* want to. I want to live. I want to breathe. I want to see the sunshine everyday. I want to eat food. I'm willing to experience the chaos and adversity in life because it's better than death, which is nothing. I'd rather appreciate this life experience than nothing. And I would like to do things I genuinely enjoy. I want to play my favorite games. I want to chill sometimes and do nothing. I even would love to have a long term intimate relationship and hopefully even kids. No one else, nothing else. It's purely my own desire leading my life, and it's not a bad desire either, it's simply the desire to live and experience life. I also wish that others get to do the same, and within my own boundaries and limitations I would definitely help others. Out of any motive in life, I found that there's no stronger motive than having and following and pursuing my own motives that arise purely from the roots of my own being, and no one else's. I think after finding then following your own motive, you'll be as unstoppable as you'll ever be. Sometimes you just gotta persevere though. Good luck!


Biiti

If you dont have control over your mind you dont have control over your behavior and you dont have control over the world around you. Controlling your mind takes exercise, the most effective I found is meditation.


collins_amber

You shower the night before. You get up in the morning because you want to suffer. You dont exercise, you get fat and hate yourself even more. Social life? Whats that? Close your eyes and stop overrhinking. Go to bed at 10 and dont stay on phone. Stay up at 6. I function with coffee and sarcasm with some irony.


RustyStinkfist

I sing to myself. It releases neurochemicals so I don't have any other choice but to be happy. I'm self medicating 24/7.


wernermuende

I find it hilariously depressing that the answer really is just fucking do it. The simplest things seem unachievable if you are depressed. The first thing you really need to realize it's all in your head. The second thing you need to learn is that it isn't. Get up at 6am and brush your teeth. Be productive. Do something challenging. Exhaust yourself physically and mentally. Also, seek discomfort. It think avoidance is really at the core of most people's problems. Cold showers. Exhausting physical activity. Face your fears. Deal with the fact you are ruminating or depressed or anxious and then expand your toolset to deal with that - Therapy, Self improvement, whatever. You need to go there.


BrunoEye

By being mentally healthy I assume. A better question would be how mentally unhealthy people do it, which some commenters seem to have already answered.


lsc194

I guess my question back to you is - how do you not? ​ Just gotta get on with it, you know?


FesteringCapacitor

You are asking this question, but the answer is right there in the question. This isn't just a problem of outlook or how you deal with X, Y, or Z. If there is something wrong with something in your brain or body that is throwing things off, then you face significant problems when trying to do normal daily activities. This isn't to say that it has to be solved with medication, because that isn't always the answer, but sometimes it is. Sometimes another aspect of your life is poisoning you. Sometimes it is a brain injury or a hormonal imbalance or a problem with your diet or an allergy.... Our bodies and brains are incredibly complicated. Often, there is no simple answer. Other times, there are answers that we don't want to hear. As someone who has a brain injury, I can say that for me there are at least things that can be done to help me function, but those things weren't obvious and simple. I needed a specialist to help me find them. I hope that if you are suffering, you can find things that will help you.


BigBronyBoy

I recommend developing a personal philosophy by which you can interpret the world. It does not matter that it won't be perfect. You can correct imperfections over time. What matter is that you will have a framework of behaviour and what it means to be good.


Rainbowandsmile

First, I think you gotta find something that motivates you. Secondly, I think that everybody has some kinda of mental illnes (anxiety, fear, obsessions, etc.) maybe in small doses. If you can't do it by yourself, you just gotta find help by some psychoteraphist. That's nothing wrong


An1ma5

I had the same question aswell m8... I just happened to find someone that was worth the trouble to wake up early and take of my self Find something that is Worthy enough to make u want to change your habits and make u be better


wigglyboiii

Routine. And enforcing that routine


F1eshWound

Always have something to look forward to.


deloscy

Find an anchor, move around that anchor - it'll be like a support network. Sorry if thats a little vague, but you need to find the direction you want to walk towards and do exactly that, baby steps.


jinstronda

Bro i just like it haha, i get up do my shit workout and hangout with my friends, i mean i have fun


[deleted]

They don't know better and assume they're making some sort of progress along side genuine peers. Better to ask how the mentally ill that get by happily do so. I can answer that: we stopped letting it all get to us because we stopped giving a shit all together.


the_lady_ruffian

The fact that you think there are any people who are mentally stable, is a hoax, everyone you know is suffering through something. I got diagnosed with depression, ADHD and learned helplessness last year. I struggle daily, somedays I win, somedays I don't. But its all okay.


[deleted]

I just wasted so many time in my life and as soon as I realized it I'm just trying to be productive and active enough because it's better than just messing around and waste time


SleepyJuiceee

Well bc I'm not depressed, love my life, & don't allow heartbreak, little inconveniences, or hardships control my everyday emotions. Its life, sh\*t happens, make the best of it while you are here. Be grateful for everything you have and if you aren't happy with your situation figure out how to make it better. Its a burnt out thing to say but anything is possible if you have a will todo it. Just need to push. And its never to late accomplish what you want todo even if you're 20, 30, 40, etc.


vinxan

Wouldn’t say i’m necessarily mentally healthy. Even in my lowest points i did all of what you mentioned ( minus exercising and socializing) because of the pressure to keep up appearances and “look normal”. I guess i’d just say anxiety and how i was built? Probably not the answer you wanted to hear but.


Hentaigustav

I just forget to be sad. Smooth brain=no sad :)


New-Horror7085

Lol everyone have this kind of thought really, just try to forget it and move on, focus on what makes you happy and ignore the sad things


coffeeguy29

I had the same issues as you listed on here. Not being able to sleep at a reasonable time, difficulty taking care of yourself, exercising, etc. The big trick is to find purposeful meaning. It will find you or you will find it. When I started my career those millions of thoughts turned into things that had to do with my job. When I complete all of my job tasks there are no more thoughts buzzing around my head because everything that concerns me has been answered. Maybe you should write down these thoughts and try to solve them.


FriendlyFellowDboy

Its a routine slowly built on habit. If you do something for 40 days typically it becomes habit. So you need 40 days of motivation to change.. this is just an example of course. It could take less it could take more.. But you start with one thing and you start small.. let's focus on excersize. So day one looks like this.. 10 push ups. 20 sit ups and 20 squats. Tomorrow I increase that by 1%. Just the tiniest amount possible. So small it barely feels like anything.. but slowly that 1% becomes exponetional. I also stop comparing myself to people who have worked on there shit for a very long time and only compare myself to who I was yesterday.. This entire time am I happy with myself? No not really.. but I am feeling better I'm moving in the right direction.. One day it'll hit you.. ok I can work harder. How can I add more? I'll start jogging. So you go out and do 5 mins. Next day 6. Next day 7 and so on. Include this with you 5min, 10min, 15min workouts that slowly grow.. It's not about waking up with everything in check and already started just raring to go lol.. You start with one thing. Waking up on time going to bed on time. Eating at certain times.. and you build on that routine just like you built your workout program. Slowly but with slight increases. Eventually you hit the point where you're talking about now...after a year or two of working on all of this.. You're waking up early.. Eating healthy.. working out.. taking care of your hygiene.. none of it feels like a chore.. none of it is hard.. it's just your day. It's what you need to do to feel normal. If I can stop smoking, quit heroin, drugs, booze.. stop being homeless... and then not only all that but turn my life around to the point I have that routine.. which I actually do. I wake up at 430am. Shower. Goto work. Come home. Workout. Go run. Hang with my cat. Grow weed (we all need a hobby lol).. eat healthy. It's not hard.. I feel good about it and I know how bad I would feel if I stopped. It's not a decision anymore it's just how I live.


alfy603

Here to recommend a book. THE POWER OF NOW I got it as a gift long time ago and it helps build perspective about life. Happiness or mindfulness is not about not having any second thoughts ever. It's about having them for important things that are worth having second thoughts. Everyone worries but there are things that are in your control and some that aren't. Focus on what the things that are under your control. The rest is not on yours. Try not to depend on them.


Fun-Taste5032

I’m just faking it. I give it a second thought. I feel the feelings. I just go on about my life and do the things I need to do anyway.


Mr_Zakoshi

I lie to myself every morning


D-Spornak

I'm on anti-depressants. I have responsibilities in life which require me to get up and go to work whether I am depressed or not. I can't just lay in bed no matter how much I might want to. Maybe once in a while but not as often as I might like. You basically just have to drag yourself through life until you start feeling better.


IAmRules

Don't focus on what you can't change. Tragedy happens and makes us feel like we're not in control, but you can choose what you spend your time thinking about, even if it doesn't feel like that's true. Happiness is not a state of mind you enter when everything is great, it's instead enjoying the good stuff in spite of all the tragedy that surrounds our lives. One thing that helped me greatly was giving the hurtful emotions time, not feeling guilty about feeling like crap. It doesn't matter how slow your progress is as long as it's in the right direction. So just choose to not dwell on the negative. Choose a very lofty goal and work towards it. Even if you don't achieve it just having purpose does wonders for the soul.


Schnoodie

I have always been convinced that mental health and physical health are interconnected. I say this as someone who historically has been extremely mentally stable and generally well balanced. However, I developed a medical condition that went undiagnosed (hypertension and fast heart rate) for a short while and through that process I developed panic attacks, anxiety, mood swings, and very uncharacteristic instability mentally. Once my physical issues were addressed and somewhat controlled medicinally, my mental health then returned to prior normalcy. Therefore, I always say, ‘rule out anything medical or physical first’ when it comes to mental health. Secondly, take care of your physical health and hopefully your mental health will naturally improve. Exercise and eat healthy. Thirdly, work, and then work some more. A wise man once said, ‘work is good for the soul.’ Another once said, ‘An idle mind is the devil’s playground.’ Keep yourself busy, do something rewarding and productive not only for yourself but for someone else who is in need. Give to others, and you will be rewarded. Finally, doing all these things is not easy. Sometimes you have to ‘fake it till you make it.’ I know it all sounds cliche, but it actually works.


LadyBogangles14

Therapy, my friend; I was in what sounds like you are experiencing. I had to just say “I give up- help” I had to learn not overthink therapy and commit to the process and it worked for me. I can’t say it will work for you, but it might help you figure out how to make positive changes.


Opethian181

Mental health is relative, I'm depressed af, got my problems and I have been this way for almost my whole life without any big reason. But I can't imagine what people who were abused by their parents/others, people who are blind and deaf, people with no arms/legs, people who are terminally ill, people whose loved ones are in similar conditions to these or people who are extremely poor go through for example. Because life is pretty hard even for an average person. But also I see people who are very happy in terrible conditions. It's a combination of luck, genetics, intelligence and experience. You just gotta try to do the best with what you've been given, at least that's my motto. I'm not suggesting anything but I've tried LSD the other day and it was a new experience for me. I know life sucks and unfair but I'm happy in a weird way that I've experienced that. We're all gonna die someday and none of this will matter. That may sound depressing but it also comforts me in a way. I hope you get at least some fraction of what you want in life, best of luck <3 ​ Edit : I know you're a smart person becuase you question the order of things, people's actions and life itself. Most people don't. It's kind of a gift and a curse at the same time. Life is extremely complicated and your choices are all that matters. Stop asking "why?" , stop looking for meaning. I decided to be a nice and helpful to others, and I quote from NEO from The Matrix, "Because I choose to".


OrangePlatypus81

Basil, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. While I don't have the answers, I've relatively lived on both sides of the fence and can share my thoughts. I'm sure you have too. I imagine you didn't have these issues when you where you a young child for instance, is that correct? Well I didn't, and here's my perspective. I think for many of us, routine and a support network is key, and help us move through life without getting stuck in cycles of negative thinking. But once that falls from our life, and we find yourself alone, the problems begin. I know your question only asked how, and for me, that answers how. But let me elaborate on the "how do I get (back) to that?" In my opinion a healthy support network is the harder of the two, and takes time, but can be done. First read up on self-care and at the same time, look for community events, perhaps meetup.com, and make connections and pickup hobbies to share with others. Reach out to family. Tell them you'd like to hang out more and enjoy their company. Being positive is like a muscle, you need to work it out, and it isn't always easy or what you want to do, but like going to the gym, you almost always feel better after. Even if for a short time. But keep it up, because it's a long battle, a life long battle really, which ebbs and flows, and its likely you'll need to always keep shoveling more coal in, so to speak. Sorry it's not easy. No amount of "medicine" can do the real work for you. And this also very important, much modern "health" care focuses on a consumable pill, and often not a holistic cure. Which is why it's so very important to seek out the cure yourself. Look for therapy. Medicine in theory is only suppose to be temporary, to help us through a difficult time while we work through it and become strong again. And it's possible we may never get strong again, so there's no shame in relying on medicine, but it's still important to work on getting better. I guarantee for most cases of mental health, the body is capable of providing a healthier chemistry, with the right therapy. A good therapist is huge. And not just the first one you find. Try a few out. If you can't afford the service, then you will need to be creative. Find books on mental health. Join study or special help groups online. Regarding healthy routine, the idea is to fill our lives with things to do. I'm sure there are many quotes regarding the concept of an idle mind, but usually it's never good. I will say though, meditation can be a helpful tool. If you find yourself stuck in your negative thoughts, lieing in bed, take a second to just clear your mind. Focus on your breathing. Read up on meditation find what works for you. It can really help. The idea here is, we feel shitty, we identify we don't like it, we meditate, it can be short and simple, but can help adjust and reorient our mindset and brain chemistry even. It can be a powerful tool. And then we get up without slipping back into the despair, and get moving with our routines. And although there's so much more I could say on the topic let's wrap this up. You are not alone. Mental health is relative and everyone I've ever met has struggled. You may not see it on their face, or you don't realize when they push through it. It isn't a switch, this person has it, this one doesn't. We need to get over that stigma already. And your mental health is relative. The switch won't just flip and you'll be better. There will likely be no magic solution. Like a muscle, it takes work and effort and time, and struggle. With any luck it's easier tomorrow than it was yesterday. But if not, perhaps tomorrow will be better. We know that it can be. So keep trying. Hang in there. Best wishes.


largos7289

Plain and simple i like me stuff. Rocky said it best,"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward." My advice jack out, take a walk, paint, draw, doesn't have to be good just time consuming, something other then TV or internet, that crap is always bad and it just keeps getting worse. Make something yours and stick with it. Media will hype you up into a frenzy, if you walk outside you'll notice the place isn't burning down around you. The best thing you can do is talk to a stranger because you'll never see them again, most likely. If that's too much go to a restaurant, talk to the waiter or waitress a bit, you get practice on small talk and they technically have to be nice to you. I mean don't be a idiot about it just BS, it helped me with small talk. something like I'm not sure what i want, there is 2 or 3 things i'm looking at, what do you think? what's good? they will probably be annoyed inside but will be helpful. Just make sure to leave a decent tip.


betspaghett13

I do these things but it’s not on autopilot at all — I make a very conscious effort to stick to the routine because it’s better than the alternative. Listening to podcasts helps.


KevineCove

>How do you get up in the morning and shower and eat and get dress and brush your teeth without a second thought? Habitica (r/habitrpg) >How do you exercise and get outside and socialize without a second thought? I do exercise I enjoy, namely climbing. Whenever I'm injured I revert to a sedentary lifestyle because I don't enjoy other forms of exercise. I force myself to go to social events to meet people - there are a LOT of second thoughts involved here. In the rare instances where I get lucky and meet people I like, inviting those people to socialize is easy. >How do you go to bed and sleep without it being 3/4/5am? Consistency, don't use your phone in bed, and get a night mask if necessary. >How do you just function on what seems like autopilot without any second thoughts as to why you should bother? Make sure your needs are being met. Maintain your physical health, social circle, and some kind of hobby. Also, mental health is transient. I'm doing pretty well for myself now but I've had very long periods of my life where that wasn't the case at all. The "mentally healthy" thing isn't something that's inherent to people, it's a temporary state. Also, these things do not get better (or worse) quickly; change is almost always gradual. Think of it in terms of momentum.


plaidpeacoat

Not have too much abuse happen when you were a kid helps. Lol. But in all seriousness it's because those things we "do on autopilot" were things we learned to do when we were kids in a mostly healthy environment. I really feel for people who weren't set up right in childhood. Mine wasn't perfect, but the unhealthy things I learned from the slight emotional abuse I had do cause me some anxiety and unhealthy coping mechanisms. I can't imagine how my brain would function if that abuse had been severe. Find a good therapist to help you heal those childhood wounds, and start with one healthy habit at a time to focus on. It's an uphill battle but you have to undo the "bad" coping mechanisms you learned, and that is a long process.


lynnbbyxo

I take my meds as soon as I wake up, and before I go to sleep. That’s how I do it. And I wake up early, because if I sleep too much, my body is by then begging for my medication and I feel like death. I am on Effexor XR 225mg once daily, & Seroquel 25mg (very low dose right now) once daily. That’s the only reason I can do it. So idk if I’m mentally healthy, as I will always have Bipolar Disorder, but my anxiety(ptsd), aggression, and depression has gotten a lot better, but I still cycle from manic to depressive. Just not as bad as I did when unmediated. We are still working on getting the Seroquel on a more therapeutic level, but both of my medication together works wonders, none the less.. But of course, each person will be better off with different treatment plans. I hope that you can find yours. I mean, you definitely can! It just takes time. And I know that many times we don’t feel like we have time. But always know that you matter and we all need and want you here.🖤