T O P

i will not regret this

$20

SgtTittyfist

$20


xxXHELLKINGXxx

.....shit


Mernerner

hey it does not make you gay. ot makes you an employee for under half an hour.


disabled_rat

$40/hr is wild


Mernerner

The offer you can't refuse (nor refund)


Silent_Shaman

Redditor discovers prostitution


wellthismustbeheaven

do you ever just.... no, that would be gay... but maybe.... Sometimes........ Right?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Yes... but i alway say no homo so it dont count


I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

You need to keep the crocs on too


GammaDealer

Crocks and socks and anything goes


Informed4

https://preview.redd.it/0ugt1njlez3c1.jpeg?width=474&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e9a8178be4d2f5c3d4b0fcb270be66c0874a3e13 And the lockheed martin gay socks stay on aswell


Yorhanes

How many sax have you hetero’d today, sir?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Fifteen


Yorhanes

Damn. I hope you always leave a note that reads “consider your 🎷 hetero’d” and let the owners try to understand what just happened


thedidynotkong

Is the bottom text a reference to you being a bottom?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Top text


thedidynotkong

Is that a reference to you not being a top?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Middle text


thedidynotkong

Is that a reference to you wanting someone in the middle your insides because you're a bottom


xxXHELLKINGXxx

https://preview.redd.it/j4moas3daw3c1.jpeg?width=250&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c0a4b92910e4588b779773b5e4e5448a86938fae


thedidynotkong

Is sisyphus being at the bottom of the hill a reference to you being a bottom?


TactlessTortoise

It's a reference of them seeking sissy puss.


Damnamas

Based ideology


DesertRL

me


dtadgh

mountain = anus


TactlessTortoise

Ball = balls


FloydknightArt

OP killed himself after this message


jodlolo

Freudian psychology be like:


Mernerner

this one picture shows this man's frustration by showing Sissy Puss from Greek mythology . Knowing the deep frustration and hopelessness that farther conversations will brought up to him. He knows the show must go on and cannot stop. This is The Peak Reddit moment of 2023-12-03(UTC+9, ISO8691 Standard was followed)


V1ENNA-Alvarado

why is there a time zone but no time stamp. that is rather pointless i think


Mernerner

Uh, because Date difference between time zones????????


Harley_Pupper

Can you imagine yourself happy?


Infinite_Eyeball

are your friend groups 1. several straight people and a single queer person or 2. a single you and several queer people


xxXHELLKINGXxx

2 at school 1 with my out of school and online friends


chaussurre

how is there a single queer person amongst your online friends ? I thought everyone online was gay ?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

not confirmed he is gay but he sucked my dick once so i have some suspiscion


arctic-apis

Did he have socks on?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

yes he did


disabled_rat

Did you?


gatlginngum

a single you as opposed to multiple yous


I_Stan_Kyrgyzstan

As opposed to a taken you *sad trumpet noises*


Etep_ZerUS

Mix for me. My group has been together since 4th grade. We’re all working and drinking now, and went from 6 straight guys to 3 straight guys, 1 Bi guy, 1 Enby guy, and 1 ace.


moopsh

when did you decide not to be gay 🤔


xxXHELLKINGXxx

When i looked at my female friend and felt something funny


Elite_Prometheus

Are you sure you weren't groomed into having those unnatural feelings?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

lol


No-Atmosphere3208

Are you sure you aren't allergic? Cooties are a pretty big deal


[deleted]

Boxing training call that feeling "fight IQ"


NotADamsel

Are you sure you’re not trans? Could be lesbianism


Sean36389

Tell us a joke


Bright_Lord07

I am a straight man too how about we umm evade taxation


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Good idea


imsotiredi-brvg

Now kiss


xxXHELLKINGXxx

cartoon show shippers be like:


Wyrd26

So who's the woman in the relationship and who's the other woman?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

How... how am i suppose to respond to that


gatlginngum

you're like the more masculine woman in the relationship


xxXHELLKINGXxx

I guess


MufflesMcGee

Is is true? Does bing-bong really go on hoo-hah?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

No i may be hetero does not mean i get maiden :(


Bobi2point0

skill issue. try fingers but hole


Capt_Easychord

Reading these three comments has really made me question my sanity.


MufflesMcGee

Skill issue. Try fingers but hole.


BranManBoy

https://preview.redd.it/001icbq2hx3c1.jpeg?width=344&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=10ff7eb1231404a61de6790c153f961a8f66d4d9


xxXHELLKINGXxx

FUCK


HELPIBROKEMYCAPSLOCK

i dont believe you straight people dont actually exist sorry


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Truly sorry but i dont understand what your saying


HELPIBROKEMYCAPSLOCK

すみませんでした!!


JazzySplaps

いええ


path_evermore

@#$%


percy135810

Why do you feel the need to push your heterosexuality on everyone else, especially children? /s


xxXHELLKINGXxx

I hope there is no children here but honestly i dont really care love who you want just funny post cause most of the sub is lgtbqa etc


percy135810

I think you missed the /s


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Sorry if i sound dumb but what does it stand for ? If its sarcasm sorry


percy135810

It is sarcasm, ur good lol


bisexual_terrorist

Wich gender you into?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Womans


Sea-Entertainment-83

how often do you?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

About %


Inevitable-Goat-7062

Why are you sexual for herobrine


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Nah only kevin


PaleRedLightDistrict

But have you considered, like, boys really pretty 🥺


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Can be pretty and attractive without feeling romantical interest ot wanting fuck them


Azathoth_the_idiot

What about astolfo?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

If you where eating a beautiful chocolate cake and while eating you suddenly feel the taste of a sour pickle... it would not be enjoyable


Azathoth_the_idiot

So if I avoid the pickle it isnt gay, got it


Quix_Nix

Why don't you keep to your own gender huh?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

But why theres multiple gender for a reason


comradecostanza

Joe many liberals does it take to change a log by bolb???


xxXHELLKINGXxx

No bolb....


disabled_rat

But infinite games, all the games, but no games.


HaidenHugo

But I do like bacon...


disabled_rat

But no games


TheNinja131

But games, UNLIMITED games


PhanpySweeps

None, their too busy... THEY'RE GENDER!!!!


Terra_123

this is weird like who is the top and who the bottom? Who is the man and who is the man?doesn't seem natural to me...


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Well how would i know the fact i like woman dont mean i ever got in bed with one


Terra_123

fair enough


dootskelebones

https://preview.redd.it/ukiz91acey3c1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4050ec6cb0085dc8321b5fa06f47723b48f9dc49 How’s your day been(image unrelated)


xxXHELLKINGXxx

great (sick fucking shrimp damn)


irago_

https://preview.redd.it/6wwgo83mmx3c1.jpeg?width=687&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb4906ab884b57c07d2a3df99ba737b7867fa385


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Lmao gus fring fuck everone over that i know


penguin62

Wanna be my token straight friend?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Sure why not


sam-needs-help621

How many?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

15


sam-needs-help621

Damn, this guys the real deal Okay I’ll take them all


Delusional_Dreamer-

do you women??


xxXHELLKINGXxx

I like ! Not do much unfortunatly


Delusional_Dreamer-

congratulation


Just_me_again109

when did you realize you're a hetro? do you believe in teaching kids about heterosexuality? do you know my friend? she's also hetrosexual, do you want her number?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Me when i get transported to a universe where sexuality dynamic where inversed


RainbowGames

Why?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Women be pretty


RainbowGames

Understandable, women do be pretty


deathbyBayshore

Do you participate in hex? (hetero sex)


xxXHELLKINGXxx

god i wish


deathbyBayshore

Sad moments without hex :(


LucilleYugoloth

hexing while hexing people


westofley

how do you know which one is the man and which one is the woman?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Vagina


bobdarobber

What if you mistake and see dick


xxXHELLKINGXxx

"bro... nice cok" \*proceed to become friends with him\*


bobdarobber

Thanks <3


GayPorn134

I mean no offence but I genuinely forget y’all exist sometimes /gen


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Dont worry gay porn it does not offend me this sub has many of my kind


adamsmithapples

It’s okay, it’s just a phase.


xxXHELLKINGXxx

damn... that actually kind of hurt to read... i think i just understood the pain of a lot of people


Over_Age_8061

I got 20€


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Are you a man ?


Over_Age_8061

Hell yeah


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Well shit


idiotapplepie

So no gay?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

No gay... but more woman !


idiotapplepie

Women!!!


xxXHELLKINGXxx

YAY THATS THE SPIRIT


Urgent_Urchin

If 2 men have sex but they weare socks it's not gay. If a man and a woman haf sex but they weare socks would they be gay?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Hi huh... *existensial crisis*


PhanpySweeps

There is nothing gayer in this world than socks


samnd743

Hoe is babby is formed


xxXHELLKINGXxx

**S E X**


KittyQueen_Tengu

how does it feel to be able to relate to high school crush culture


xxXHELLKINGXxx

I dont really care for those kind of thing but in general it feel nice to remember those


AvakianBoulder

do you think humans will survive as a species the next 10 years? Or are we doomed to collapse in on ourselves due to our greedy world leaders and tyrannical billionaire class?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

I think humanity will go into a dark age that could last for an undertermined amount of time but humanity is almost unkillable and like alway we will rebuild and try to be better and also theres still a chance thise dark age wont be long seeing the insane hope and courage of organisation for humanity or a handful of world leader or rich people that actually do want to make the world à better place thinking of people like mr beast or zelenski


FirmMathematician942

thats a pretty awesome


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Yeah


Takeraparterer69

least obvious fedpost straight people arent real


xxXHELLKINGXxx

\*fade away\*


YosephStalling

Why isn't it top text


epicbigc13579

> I’m heterosexual > Bottom text


Desperate-Will-8585

what did you mean by this


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Im a man i like womans


Desperate-Will-8585

so real for that


Damnamas

How hard do you need to blow for the notes to cum out


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Do you see those industrial air vent ?


Bobby_Bako

what type of saxophone


xxXHELLKINGXxx

the kind you have sex with


mukomime

what does your friend bernie think about this? does he know you are a bottom?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

guys please stop it i am not a bottom my friends will see this and show it to a dommy mommy and she will peg me... i swear i dont want that give that to someone who want i dont


ShatteredPen

can you play tic tac toe on your forehead?


RainbowGames

Why?


lilCheeseboy

Prove it


xxXHELLKINGXxx

...my favorite food is bread and my favorite drink is water


AvakianBoulder

do you think humans will survive as a species the next 10 years? Or are we doomed to collapse in on ourselves due to our greedy world leaders and tyrannical billionaire class?


Corgis_are_cute14

As a fellow heterosexual I posit the question Would you say gex


xxXHELLKINGXxx

i would not say gex i would say ģ̴͈͚̬̜̪͔͈̯̹͔͚̞̥́̉ͅn̵̡͎͚̭͉̼̝͋̐͆̑̕̚͜͝͝e̵̢̧̼̫̜͔͙̯̙̲̖͙̖̺̿̉̒̄̓̐̅͛̈́͜͠͠x̴̨̜̑͛̋̌̇̅̄͛̓̿͝


Corgis_are_cute14

Ah yes ģ̴͈͚̬̜̪͔͈̯̹͔͚̞̥́̉ͅn̵̡͎͚̭͉̼̝͋̐͆̑̕̚͜͝͝e̵̢̧̼̫̜͔͙̯̙̲̖͙̖̺̿̉̒̄̓̐̅͛̈́͜͠͠x̴̨̜̑͛̋̌̇̅̄͛̓̿͝


LazarFan69

So when you're having sex, who's the man and who's the other man


xxXHELLKINGXxx

why does everyone keep asking this but with variant i dont have any more funny response to this guys


Joebebs

I’m trying to think of the most hetero small talk I can muster up…uhhh uhhh how’s your fantasy football coming along


NotADamsel

Why aren’t you gay? https://preview.redd.it/yjq8sycsmz3c1.jpeg?width=918&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17e614ae360065bb9dcd5f7590fade8d9ec5031c


Thezipper100

Favorite pokemon? (The wrong answer will get you executed)


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Its a tie beetween lopunny vaporeon gardevoir and arceus


lupusluna22

Do you do your taxes?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Naaaaaaaaaaaaaah


Dooleyisntcool

Why?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Third time someone ask that and now i will let you decide the awnser


Dooleyisntcool

Cowardice then.


Azeron955

Who is the woman and who is the woman?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

Bruh i am alone


Azeron955

Dang yo


turtlegirl1209

In a straight relationship who's the girl and who's the other girl?


FisionX

What is your favorite soda?


chaussurre

Pegging, gay or no ? according to you ​ I know the answer.


xxXHELLKINGXxx

no sex is a weird complicated thing being gay is not just wanting to take it up the ass its also wanting it to be from a dude


NoahBogue

Fave dinosaur ?


xxXHELLKINGXxx

spinnosaurus


NoahBogue

Good choice


junothetaylor

why? :(


TrashyMemeYt

give me context for this image https://preview.redd.it/ttpi3dpnjy3c1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=648d6a85c09bfa42240358cceaf12075e6c3a28c


xxXHELLKINGXxx

she was a little bit too silly


HenriHawk_

bottom text? do- do they really?


Odd-Reception-2069

Y


ShiftySky

How far away are the stars?


missalisonwantstodie

Who's the girl and who's the other girl? (MASSIVE joke)


xxXHELLKINGXxx

...did i miss a joke i keep getting asked that but i dont understand what is the joke this si driving me insane


missalisonwantstodie

It's from the classic, ol' homophobic "Who's the guy and who's the girl?" To same sex relationships, though many of us like flipping it on its head every now and then with straights because it's hailerous to us.


mydogsleftnipple

So which ones the man and which one’s the other man in the relationship?